Transcript of Bitesize Ep 065 - Transcript

Charlie:
Hello and welcome to another episode of the British English podcast with me, your host, Charlie Baxter. And today's episode is a bitesize one, so I'm going to skip the usual blurb and get straight to it. I have opposite me Stacey Benson, my partner in life in crime and soon to be my wife. But before we go and get married, we're going to talk about a tradition in the UK that is known as the hen do. It's the female version of the stag do that we mentioned in a previous episode that I did with Harry, and as Stacey has been on not one, but two recently, we thought we would have a little chat about it to expose you to the cultural norms that are included in such an adventure. Is it an adventure? Hello, Stacey. How are you?

Stacey:
Hello. I'm good, thank you. And yes, I would say it's an adventure.

Charlie:
Yes?

Stacey:
Yes, for the most part.

Charlie:
So you've just recently done one for your best friend?

Stacey:
Yes. Yeah.

Charlie:
And you went on yours about a month ago?

Stacey:
Yeah!

Charlie:
Is the norm to do your hen do the night before the wedding?

Stacey:
I think that was what some movies have led us to believe, that that was maybe the case 20, 30 years ago. I would guess.

Charlie:
I would guess that, too. Yeah. So nowadays we don't really do that.

Stacey:
No, I think we're fearful because the hen parties and the stag dos have definitely kind of spiralled a bit out of control since back then. They typically used to be a one day or one evening kind of event. And now typically I'd say they're at least two days, sometimes three days. Usually an overnight thing. And yeah, they're a bit more extravagant these days. So I think we're fearful having them too close to the nuptials because we don't want to be hungover or feeling a bit fragile after the activities.

Charlie:
Activities. Oh, teasing. So you said nuptials. And by nuptials, that means the ceremony? The niceties around that?

Stacey:
The wedding I think.

Charlie:
The wedding. Okay. The nuptials. Nice. Is that a word that you knew before you started planning your own wedding?

Stacey:
I believe so, yes. However, I've heard more people kind of refer to it as the nuptials recently.

Charlie:
Okay. Yeah. So you went on a hen do recently. Was that crazier than your one, would you say?

Stacey:
Yes. In the in the grand scheme of things, I guess it was a little more on the wild side of mine just because there were also more people.

Charlie:
How many people are we talking?

Stacey:
There were 21, I believe, or there were 21 originally. Maybe 19 showed up.

Charlie:
And is it all women or are men allowed?

Stacey:
Um usually, I think typically it's it's all females, which is a bit sexist because a lot of people have other gender friends. But yeah, I'd say strangely it's stag dos and hen parties are usually single gender occasions.

Charlie:
Yeah, they are still.

Stacey:
They're a bit outdated in that way I think.

Charlie:
Agreed. Yeah. Well, I was tempted to have two of my good female friends come with me on a last minute kind of stag do kind of thing, but yeah, ended up not doing that. Um, but yeah, I think for a guy it would be, it would be quite intense to go with 20 girls. I mean, it would be the same if it was 20 guys. It would be.

Stacey:
Yeah, I'd be intimidated, definitely.

Charlie:
Okay. So what made it wilder than your one?

Stacey:
The number of people. Um, potentially the location. We were in Brighton, which is a little bit more renowned for the stag dos and the hen parties. Um, we went to a cabaret show and there were, I think, like four other hen dos at that cabaret show. Maybe more actually.

Charlie:
Now, this is, this is quite an interesting one. So a cabaret show. Usually they stereotype it being that you go and you have a stripper.

Stacey:
Uh, not in a cabaret show.

Charlie:
No, no, no. Sorry. A hen. A hen do.

Stacey:
Oh, I see. Yes.

Charlie:
Have a stripper come, maybe.

Stacey:
Yeah, yeah. That is a stereotypical hen party.

Charlie:
Yes, but a cabaret. I feel like that is a perfect sort of risque kind of activity. But not too much willy in your face.

Stacey:
No. Well, actually, there were no. I mean, there were two drag queens, but there were no male performers.

Charlie:
Oh, right.

Stacey:
So actually, I don't know if it's, um, a typical kind of hen do thing. It must be because there were lots of hen dos there, but it was definitely more viewing pleasure. Just more entertainment and really fun, I'd say, like...

Charlie:
And kind of innocent. Because it's as you said, it's mainly female performers.

Stacey:
Yeah.

Charlie:
So the the stag is less jealous if they were going to be jealous. But that's probably not what Harry was thinking when she booked that or what you as the hen, uh, planners.

Stacey:
Sure.

Charlie:
Bridesmaids.

Stacey:
Bridesmaids.

Charlie:
Yes. So the hen, the main, the bride to be does not know what's happening.

Stacey:
See, I don't know if, I've actually thought about this recently, I don't know if the bride is the hen or if all of the group are the hens.

Charlie:
As in multiple hens.

Stacey:
Yeah. Like because sometimes.

Charlie:
In Australia they call it a hens party don't they?

Stacey:
Yeah. Because when we were away we were like, oh Harry's hens. Like we are Harry's hens.

Charlie:
Yes. A hen party, stag party, stag do.

Stacey:
But no, you're, on the on the stag do, the groom is definitely the stag.

Charlie:
Okay. So there's only one stag but you're saying that there can be 19 hens?

Stacey:
I mean, I don't know. I'm not aware of the technicalities or.

Charlie:
Yeah. Well, yeah, let's go with that. So the hen party doesn't necessarily mean the party for the bride. It's the party for the group. The bridal party?

Stacey:
Yeah, I guess so. I mean, it is all about the bride.

Charlie:
It's all about the bride. Yeah. Yeah. And did you feel special on your hen do?

Stacey:
Yes. I felt, as cheesy as it sounds, I felt very loved and very intrinsically happy and surrounded by lovely people all weekend.

Charlie:
Yeah, you came back very, very happy.

Stacey:
I was beaming.

Charlie:
Yeah. And I'm pretty sure it wasn't to do with the stripper you had.

Stacey:
I did not have a stripper. Just to clarify.

Charlie:
So she says! So she says... No I believe you.

Stacey:
I don't think you can find a stripper in the Cotswolds.

Charlie:
Oh really?

Stacey:
No.

Charlie:
Okay. Challenge accepted. Um, so Brighton was with your friend, but you went to the Cotswolds for your one?

Stacey:
Yes.

Charlie:
I'd say that's quite a...

Stacey:
Civilised.

Charlie:
Yeah. A civilised version of a hen do.

Stacey:
Yeah. I would say my mine wasn't necessarily a typical hen do, but I'm really happy with everything that we did on the weekend. Like it, it was more like a little mini break, like a little holiday. It was very chilled. It was quite wholesome, I would say. And it wasn't all kind of revolving around the drinking or the late nights and that kind of thing. And...

Charlie:
Despite being asked by the neighbours or no, being reported to the police by the neighbours?

Stacey:
Not the police, technically. We just had some noise complaints.

Charlie:
Oh, the neighbour came round and complained.

Stacey:
Yes.

Charlie:
Did he say that he had notified the police?

Stacey:
No.

Charlie:
Okay. But technically he had notified a policewoman.

Stacey:
Yes. My friend is a policewoman and he knocked on the door and said 'This is the Cotswolds, not Ibiza.'

Charlie:
Yeah, very true. Such an uncouth group of girls. So what was your favourite part of the hen do?

Stacey:
I mean, disregarding the place itself, the house that we stayed in was absolutely stunning. The girls chose very well and it was very beautiful and aesthetic and the weather was lovely. But my favourite activity was the Mr. and Mrs. Quiz.

Charlie:
Oh yes, let's talk about that. So what does that include?

Stacey:
It's a, I guess, like a quiz, a question and answer game where the bridesmaids ask the groom (On this occasion it was you) a list of questions which you kindly answered and recorded yourself. It was lovely. And then I'm kind of put on the spot in front of all the girls. They asked me the same questions and I'm expected to give the same answer as you. And for every question I got right, everyone else in the group had to do a little limoncello shot, and for every question I got wrong, I had to do a shot.

Charlie:
So who got more drunk by the end?

Stacey:
I definitely got more drunk because, not because I necessarily... I know, I did well, I think I got nine.

Charlie:
You got more drunk than them.

Stacey:
I think I got nine out of the 15 because they split the shots between them. So there was only two girls at a time doing a shot.

Charlie:
Oh, that's unfair.

Stacey:
Otherwise they would have been hammered.

Charlie:
Oh, did you get a lot of them right?

Stacey:
Yeah, I think I got nine right out of 15.

Charlie:
Out of 15.

Stacey:
I think so.

Charlie:
Not 20. Because that would mean you don't know me.

Stacey:
No, I think I got nine right out of 15. I got six wrong. So yeah.

Charlie:
Do you remember any of them?

Stacey:
Yeah. I don't know why I remember this one because it wasn't my favourite question at all. It was probably my least favourite question, but it was what item of clothing thing do I least hate of yours? And then you gave an unsolicited answer back saying what your least favourite item of clothing of mine was. And that wasn't even a question.

Charlie:
Did they all listen to that, or were they all busy drinking?

Stacey:
No. Everyone listened. Everyone listened to you very endearingly.

Charlie:
Oh, really?

Stacey:
Yeah.

Charlie:
Aww. God. How many girls?

Stacey:
There were originally ten. Two didn't come, so there were eight on mine. Intimate.

Charlie:
Eight avid listeners. Okay, So that was. That was your favourite. You also did a cocktail thing.

Stacey:
Oh, that was close second. Loved that.

Charlie:
Tell me what it was.

Stacey:
We went to the Cotswolds distillery and we had the whole place to ourselves and we had a lovely, very charismatic, quite attractive man.

Charlie:
Excuse me I wasn't there.

Stacey:
Who just knew his way around a cocktail shaker.

Charlie:
A cocktail shaker?

Stacey:
Yes.

Charlie:
Okay. He knew his way around a cocktail shaker. And that was a tasting session.

Stacey:
It was a... No. It was a cocktail masterclass. So we learnt how to make three or four cocktails, and we were well and truly merry by the end. It was a great experience. Highly recommend if anyone is having a hen party in the Cotswolds. Cotswolds Distillery is where it is at. Not sponsored.

Charlie:
You sound so middle class.

Stacey:
I'm trying to do my best voice.

Charlie:
Yeah. Okay. Nice. And the Brighton one was a bit different. I remember I saw some stuff on Instagram where you were on bikes at one point.

Stacey:
Oh yeah, that was really fun, actually. I really enjoyed that because I do like a bike ride.

Charlie:
So that was 19 girls.

Stacey:
19 girls, all on kind of like chopper style bikes. Not not full on chopper, but like beefy bikes.

Charlie:
Beefy bikes.

Stacey:
And we yeah, we cycled, I think 15 minutes just literally following the waterfront in Brighton. And we went for coffee and then we actually got caught in the rain and had to cycle back before our lunch booking.

Charlie:
Was this the moment where your friend Charlie, not me, a female friend. She lost her phone?

Stacey:
Yeah, she left her phone at the place where we had coffee and cycled all the way back and then had to walk 40 minutes back. And her phone was still there.

Charlie:
But she had to walk back in the rain.

Stacey:
Yes.

Charlie:
Yes. And this is the same girl that came to see us before the hen with her car. And she left something on the car when she was reversing. And she told us the story where she actually left her phone on the top of the car and she was using the phone through Apple Carplay to call her mum, asking her where her phone might be. Didn't... Is that right?

Stacey:
Yes, that is right.

Charlie:
She was like, do you know where my phone is? And then she realised, oh, hang on, I'm using my phone. Ridiculous.

Stacey:
Don't embarrass Charlie on the podcast.

Charlie:
It's already on. Another nice thing, I think, for you is that you get to see all of your close friends again because you don't always see each other that often.

Stacey:
No, that's very true. We all live quite far apart in the UK and so it was a lovely excuse to all be in the same place at the same time and it's quite hard to get us all together actually. I would say it sometimes doesn't happen for over a year to get all of us together.

Charlie:
Yeah. In comparison to a stereotypical hen do, a typical one in my opinion would be, um, and this is probably in the 90s maybe noughties, when we were growing up. You'd go out on the town for just one night, a group of, a small group of girls. Go to the bars, do a bar crawl. You'd have a sash.

Stacey:
Yeah.

Charlie:
Not a sachet, remember that.

Stacey:
A sash. Maybe a little mini veil.

Charlie:
A mini veil.

Stacey:
Usually some willy straws.

Charlie:
Willy straws. Were there any willy straws?

Stacey:
There were no willy straws in sight, thank God.

Charlie:
Any willies?

Stacey:
No. I mean, there were two drag queens.

Charlie:
Um, so no willy straws. But yeah, they would have willy straws, a sash saying bride to be. And sometimes I saw a chest, a plastic chest over the hen that looks like her boobs are out.

Stacey:
Really?

Charlie:
Yeah, I've seen that before.

Stacey:
I haven't seen that in years.

Charlie:
No, no. This is when I was, like, ten. I was like, What is that?

Stacey:
I don't think that's a norm.

Charlie:
No.

Stacey:
But maybe that one person did it when you were ten.

Charlie:
Yeah. Okay. So that was what it used to be. And now?

Stacey:
Now I would actually say it's two nights away, still with the willy straws, maybe some games, quizzes, kind of usually a little bit of poking fun at the bride or making her dress up in a funny way. Um...

Charlie:
So not ridiculing like a stag do. Like not.

Stacey:
Not as mean. But typically I would say my friend Emma, her hen do which was a few years ago now, I think is probably the most stereotypical hen do that I can think of for this, for our age group, maybe. So we went to Barcelona for two nights and on the flight over, her friends dressed her up as a plucked chicken representing a hen. And then she did have a stripper, which she was outraged about. And...

Charlie:
Did she! Was it a personal lap dance kind of thing?

Stacey:
It was a man that came to the house where we were staying.

Charlie:
Yikes.

Stacey:
And fortunately, somebody actually told the stripper that a different girl, that was very up for it, was actually the bride. So he actually dry humped that girl in the face.

Charlie:
Oh, God, that's such an unattractive sentence. Oh, I'm surprised you said that. Nice. Nice. Okay. Oof! I don't really see why a male stripper. I mean, it's obvious why I'm saying that really, because I'm marrying a female. But why a male stripper is so...

Stacey:
It's not.

Charlie:
It's not, is it?

Stacey:
I would say I don't know, because I may be a bit biased, but I would say 90% of girls I know don't enjoy or want a stripper. Um, a few are up for it. And maybe after a few drinks, they find it funny. But yeah, I think I think girls now are more inclined to enjoy something like the Magic Mike Show or like, male dancing.

Charlie:
Yeah, that's a good one.

Stacey:
That's not like personal thrusting.

Charlie:
Yes. Yeah. Because I don't. I don't think that that's. Yeah, yeah. I don't need to say what I'm thinking, but I think you know what I'm thinking. Okay. So two nights away. Is it abroad?

Stacey:
Um. I'd say quite a few people go abroad. Um, that was my one criteria is I didn't want to go abroad, but it's just because we'd moved back from abroad to the UK.

Charlie:
Oh, Do you... Do you get a gift?

Stacey:
I mean, the hen party is paid for the bride or it has been.

Charlie:
No, not the hen party is paid for by the...

Stacey:
Everyone else. Yes.

Charlie:
For the hen.

Stacey:
Yes. So everyone else covers a little bit of the costs for the bride. I don't know if that is actually the case, but that has been what has happened on mine and also what we did for Harry, for hers.

Charlie:
I think that's the norm, especially with stags.

Stacey:
Yeah. And that's really nice because the, the bride usually has quite a lot of expenses that year.

Charlie:
Yeah. Which you know about. Yeah.

Stacey:
So it's nice to ...

Charlie:
Especially if you make mistakes on orders.

Stacey:
Yes. Shut up, Charlie.

Charlie:
So we are moments away from the nuptials.

Stacey:
We are three days out from the legal nuptials.

Charlie:
Right?

Stacey:
Actually, kind of two days out.

Charlie:
Two...two...two days! Is it Tuesday today?

Stacey:
It's Monday night.

Charlie:
It's Monday night.

Stacey:
So we've got Tuesday, Wednesday.

Charlie:
Okay. Three days.

Stacey:
Well, it's happening on Thursday.

Charlie:
Yeah.

Stacey:
10 p.m...

Charlie:
Anyway, so we're doing the legals on Thursday and then we're getting married in... Well, no, we're getting married on Thursday, but we're doing the...

Stacey:
Full celebration. The full shebang.

Charlie:
Yes, on Saturday.

Stacey:
On Saturday, which we are very excited about, aren't we, Charlie?

Charlie:
I'm really excited.

Stacey:
I'm glad. About bloody time!

Charlie:
A year and a half ago I wasn't that excited to talk about the planning, but now I'm really excited. I can't wait.

Stacey:
You're only excited because you've written a speech which you're really proud of and can't wait to deliver.

Charlie:
I was actually rehearsing it today and I'm a bit nervous about it, so I'm back to a bit more anxiety and panic.

Stacey:
Oh, no.

Charlie:
Yeah.

Stacey:
That's not good.

Charlie:
No, but it'll be alright, hopefully.

Stacey:
But, yeah, we have two days left, and Charlie still hasn't written his vows, so get on it.

Charlie:
Yeah, I do need to do that. But we need to pack up. So this is going to be the end of today's episode. We need to pack up. I need to put my tux in the car. You need to put your three outfits in the car.

Stacey:
Do you want to explain why I have three outfits?

Charlie:
Well, you would like to get... Actually, you've got four. You've got one on the Thursday and then you've got three on the Saturday. You've got your main dress for the day and then you're gonna change into a slightly less extravagant version for the dance.

Stacey:
Yeah, the majority of the night.

Charlie:
The majority of the night. And then when you get crazy...

Stacey:
After party vibes.

Charlie:
The after party vibes. You're gonna slip into an even more casual dress.

Stacey:
It's not casual, babe.

Charlie:
Okay.

Stacey:
It's a feathery mini.

Charlie:
Feathery mini.

Stacey:
That Charlie hates because he thinks I look like an ostrich.

Charlie:
No. You put it on earlier, and now that it fits you because you got it tailored to your body, it looks good.

Stacey:
Thanks, babe.

Charlie:
Yeah, you look good. But I haven't seen the main dress, and I refuse to see the main dress until the day. I think that's a special moment when you walk down the aisle. Yes. And then. So we're going to do that. And then we're going for a mini moon.

Stacey:
Yeah. Which I know nothing about. And I'm very excited for.

Charlie:
I've booked us in for two lovely days at my parents' house.

Stacey:
I would enjoy that. You wouldn't.

Charlie:
No comment. I would love that. Mummy and Daddy. No, it's not there. But I have booked it, and so you don't know. But we're going to do a mini moon, and then later in the year, we're going to do our honeymoon.

Stacey:
Yasss!

Charlie:
And this is. This is kind of a norm nowadays. People go on a mini moon straight after, which is a very small holiday, and then they go on a big holiday later on.

Stacey:
I think people just need a bit of downtime, which is why we've done... We're just copying a couple of our friends who had just a couple of nights to chill after the chaos that is getting married.

Charlie:
Yeah.

Stacey:
And to be honest, I had no energy to plan a honeymoon whilst planning a wedding. I don't know how anyone does that. Fair play to those who book a honeymoon.

Charlie:
I agree. It's, um. It's. It's full on. This. This last couple of weeks, particularly for me.

Stacey:
Yeah. I haven't worked in two weeks.

Charlie:
No, you haven't. It's been a full time job for you.

Stacey:
It really has.

Charlie:
I'll thank you on the day, but thank you now.

Stacey:
Okay. Thanks.

Charlie:
Yeah. Okay, guys, thank you very much for listening to the end of this one. We will reconvene at the other end when we are married.

Stacey:
When we are husband and wife.

Charlie:
Husband and wife. When we're on our mini moon, we'll do a full episode on how it all went.

Stacey:
We'll give you the lowdown.

Charlie:
Yes, we will. Alright. Um, I guess, wish us luck.

Stacey:
We're gonna need it.

Charlie:
Thank you for doing this episode, darling.

Stacey:
You're very welcome.

Charlie:
I'll see you next time, as my wife.

Stacey:
Weird?

Charlie:
Bye.

Stacey:
Bye!