Bitesize Episode 47 - A British Couple Has A Heart-To-Heart Conversation

Oct 26 / Charlie Baxter

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What's this episode about?

In this bitesize episode, Charlie gets his partner back on the show and things get personal. They share some values they have, some irritations, and what they have learnt from one another. So grab yourself a cup of tea, a hobnob or two and enjoy the episode.
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Transcript of Premium Bitesize Ep 47.mp3

Charlie:
Hello and welcome to a bitesize episode of the British English podcast. This time I have a conversation with my partner or fiancee, Stacey. I managed to entice her back on with a good old fashioned bit of bribery. I promised her that if she appeared again on the show, then I would owe her one favour in whatever form she desires. We will see what that ends up being. What do you think? Will it be an innocent foot rub? A milk run or... Well, she again asked me to put her favourite pair of heels on and prance around the place doing karaoke to R-E-S-P-E-C-T by Aretha Franklin. Find out what it means to me. Got to love a bit of Aretha Franklin, but no, that would be repetitive, wouldn't it? She's been there, done that. No matter what she gets me to do. You don't need to worry about it. Seriously, forget what I've imprinted in your imagination right now. It's not healthy for you. Let's focus on the conversation this episode will bring us. We get personal. We touch on some values we have, some irritations, and what we have learnt from one another. So grab yourself a cup of tea, a hobnob or two perhaps, and enjoy the episode.

Charlie:
Thank you for agreeing to do this yet again.

Stacey:
You are very welcome.

Charlie:
How many is this now?

Stacey:
This is number three, I believe.

Charlie:
It is, but I think number two isn't out yet. [Oh] and this is going to be fast tracked.

Stacey:
Oh, so this will actually be number two?

Charlie:
This will be number two.

Stacey:
Okay. Well, I hope it's as good as number three.

Charlie:
So I've told you what we're going to be doing.

Stacey:
Yes.

Charlie:
And what is that?

Stacey:
We are going to be answering some conversation cards.

Charlie:
Yes. Because our relationship has dried up.

Stacey:
Definitely. And now we rely on little pieces of card with questions on to have evening conversation.

Charlie:
And it's by the company called the School of Life. And I think it might be a good resource for anyone who has a language partner who they're quite romantically involved with perhaps.

Stacey:
Yeah, that's a lovely idea.

Charlie:
It's called Connect. And the the line under that says 'Remember why you matter to one another'. Oh!

Stacey:
Cute.

Charlie:
So there's five categories and you normally have to roll a dice to determine which category you're going to choose a card from. And then we've got a colour there. I'm colour-blind so this doesn't really work very well for me. So I'm going to rely on you.

Stacey:
Okay. I could just say...

Charlie:
Why is this pack in the bin?

Stacey:
Because this one's a bit sexual and I thought it wasn't really [Oh, right!] podcast friendly.

Charlie:
Okay, we've put sexual stuff aside for now. That's for a premium part.

Stacey:
Yeah. Far too erotic for Spotify.

Charlie:
Okay, so it was that colour. What is that colour?

Stacey:
That is this colour.

Charlie:
Okay.

Stacey:
To whoever designed this, they really should have made the colours more colour-blind friendly.

Charlie:
Agreed.

Stacey:
Because some of the colours are very similar. I do feel for you.

Charlie:
Okay, so I'm going pick...

Stacey:
It's Navy, for anyone listening. Oh, so I read it to you? Okay. [Sure.] The question is what would you want to warn the child version of yourself about?

Charlie:
Hmm. I like that question. [Yeah?] Well, well, randomly chosen. I think there's a lot that I'd like to warn my child version of myself about.

Stacey:
We don't have all day.

Charlie:
Yeah, this is a bitesize episode. Uh, I think the first thing I would want to focus... Oh no! But then I'd be- I'd be subjecting them to what I think is right. And I know that I need to just let them work life out, because otherwise they'll think that I've made them think that, and then they won't appreciate that version.

Stacey:
And the child version of yourself might need to find things out on their own.

Charlie:
Exactly. One thing I think about quite a lot is meditation and mindfulness. If I make them, [Mm hmm] will they hate it when they're adults? Because I found it as an adult and I love it. [Mm hmm]. So I feel like if my dad forced me to do it...

Stacey:
Yeah, you'd probably have a different opinion on it.

Charlie:
Yeah, Like, he forced me to learn science, and he tutored me, and I didn't really like science for about 20 years.

Stacey:
Let's hope he's not listening.

Charlie:
I mean, I still got the grades, but I just didn't have a passion for it.

Stacey:
Yeah, okay.

Charlie:
He did well. If he's... If he's still listening.

Stacey:
Nigel, if you're out there, you did well!

Charlie:
I appreciate it.

Stacey:
Okay, so. But you potentially would want to... But a child's mindfulness, I don't think children are very mindful.

Charlie:
I tried to teach eight year olds how to meditate. [Okay.] And it kind of worked until they started crying. Um, no. Okay. Maybe some simple things.

Stacey:
I've got one for you. So I want to teach a child version of you something.

Charlie:
How to cook.

Stacey:
How to cook,

Charlie:
How to cook. [Yeah]. Yes.

Stacey:
I actually feel like that's a very good skill for a child.

Charlie:
Yes, yes, yes. I really agree with that.

Stacey:
Yeah. Yes. I would like to teach the child version of me. I mean, the adult version of me also can't do this...

Charlie:
No. Oh, right.

Stacey:
But if there was a be an opportunity for me to learn something as a child, it would be a language [Oh!] because I think now that I'm too old and busy and...

Charlie:
She's wrong. She's naive. It's the classic.

Stacey:
But I just feel like I wish I had delved into that sooner in life, and perhaps I would have found it much easier.

Charlie:
I heard something about this recently and how a lot of people think that babies are able to absorb language much quicker than adults. But really, if you think about it, it takes them about four years to get a good sentence.

Stacey:
Mm hmm. Yeah, that's true.

Charlie:
We do a good sentence in about a week, maybe way less.

Stacey:
Yeah, that is true.

Charlie:
And then it takes them probably about ten years to actually have a fluent ability of a complex, advanced...

Stacey:
With a good vocabulary...

Charlie:
Grammar and everything.

Stacey:
Yeah. You make a very good point.

Charlie:
But still, it seems effortless because you've already done it when you're looking back on it.

Stacey:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Charlie:
Okay. Next one.

Stacey:
Yeah. Okay.

Charlie:
Do you want to roll? [Yeah.] The way that she looked at me, then. I picked up the dice or die. Not dice. [No.] One die, two dice. [Correct]. All right, throw that die.

Stacey:
Rolling the die. Different colour.

Charlie:
It looks like exactly the same.

Stacey:
It's very similar. This one is like a dark teal.

Charlie:
Wow. Okay.

Stacey:
Yeah. Oo, okay. So do I show it to you and you answer?

Charlie:
Mm hmm. [Okay]. Oh, I say it to you. [Okay]. You looked it, didn't you? You cheated.

Stacey:
I did, I'm sorry.

Charlie:
One thing you've taught me is...

Stacey:
You taught me nothing.

Charlie:
No. Oh, yes, yes. You've got to answer it. [Yeah.] Yeah. I taught you nothing?!

Stacey:
I mean, you've taught me how to, um, speak on a podcast.

Charlie:
Getting there.

Stacey:
Rude. I would say that you've taught me how to be a bit empathetic. [Yeah] I wasn't the most... More sympathy, actually, rather than empathy. I still struggle with empathy. Whereas sympathy can, I will admit it, sympathy can be a little bit forced, but it still is a nice thing to... to give. I would say I'm now always mostly sympathetic, but not always empathetic.

Charlie:
What are the differences between those two words?

Stacey:
Sympathy is just showing your kind of caring and sympathetic nature. So if you were sick, I would actually show you the attention and, like, go above and beyond to help you. And that would be sympathy. But if I were to feel it naturally in my heart, then I think that is empathy. Am I correct, Dictionary Man?

Charlie:
Let's see. So sympathy, feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune. And then empathy. The ability to understand and share the feelings of another. I think you're right.

Stacey:
Thank you.

Charlie:
Very nice. Very nice. So what about understanding your emotions?

Stacey:
Oh, yeah, maybe. But I'm resentful of that.

Charlie:
Because I remember you said to me once, 'before I met you, I didn't know whether I was happy or not'.

Stacey:
Well, I was just, [You didn't...] I was just happy.

Charlie:
No. You just lived.

Stacey:
I didn't acknowledge the fact. I didn't walk down the street and think, 'Am I happy? Yes or no?' I would just be walking down the street happy and naive and just living life. [Yeah]. Whereas now I'm more aware, yeah. Aware of my emotions. Or I acknowledge the highs and the lows more, which I- I have yet to decide whether that's a blessing or a curse.

Charlie:
Episode four.

Stacey:
But yeah.

Charlie:
Fair enough. I think you get more out of life this way. I think you do. I think you do. You appreciate the highs more.

Stacey:
I definitely appreciate the highs more, but I don't think I noticed the lows before.

Charlie:
It also might be the fact that you're actually older.

Stacey:
Yeah, true. A bit more mindful, maybe.

Charlie:
Just more wise. Yeah, whatever. I've got a long list of things that you've taught me. [Really?] But they're not so deep. They're more superficial things [Like....] Like how to wrap a present, how to cook a meal, how to tie your shoelaces. No, you taught... I knew that one. I know that one. How to do a a facial.

Stacey:
Oh, yeah.

Charlie:
How to look after my skin, how to dress.

Stacey:
Yeah. And these have all been accidental, just so you know, I'm not like, bullying these into you.

Charlie:
No. Oh, I mean, you haven't taught it to me, but you've tried very hard how to plan.

Stacey:
Oh, yeah.

Charlie:
Yeah. I remember the first year that we lived together. You sent me an email on the Friday night. A list of things we need to do on that weekend. [Yeah] and it blew my mind.

Stacey:
Yeah.

Charlie:
I was surprised.

Stacey:
In hindsight, I'd never do that now.

Charlie:
No, you wouldn't, would you? Look at you. Compromise. Right. Let's do another one.

Stacey:
Number three.

Charlie:
Yeah.

Stacey:
Okay. The die is being rolled.

Charlie:
This is the last one. It's a bitesize episode.

Stacey:
This one, Lilac.

Charlie:
Lilac. See, I would just say pink, but what do I know? I've got a mutation.

Stacey:
Okay. What... So I'm reading it and asking you, right? [Yeah]. It's round three. Still haven't got this. What two habits of mine would you love me to change? And what two could you learn to live with?

Charlie:
Hmm. I'm not sure if this conversation is worth an episode out of, like, getting an episode out of. It might cost my relationship.

Stacey:
Come on!

Charlie:
No. Okay, so what two habits of yours would I love to change? Your inability to relax when you're late.

Stacey:
Oh, yeah.

Charlie:
And the amount you love weddings.

Stacey:
I'm not a psycho bride, I promise.

Charlie:
No, you just love weddings.

Stacey:
Yeah. They're so nice!

Charlie:
It's not a bad thing. It's just. You love weddings. [Yeah] And I didn't realise that until I asked you to marry me. You kept it hidden.

Stacey:
I did.

Charlie:
What two could you learn to live with?

Stacey:
I mean, you're going to have to live with both of them.

Charlie:
Ah! N...n... God. So one of your frustrating habits. You have an infinite amount of delightful habits I should just put on the record. But another one that just came up to me is your inability to put your keys and shoes where they belong. [Fair.] And whenever I pick them up, I just know... I just look at them and I insert a thing that I like. She gives me really nice food or.

Stacey:
So you have to remind yourself of one of my good habits to counteract your frustration that you feel about one of my bad habits.

Charlie:
Yeah. She makes my life better.

Stacey:
Okay.

Charlie:
Yeah. What two could you learn to live without? So that's one of them. And the other one. Hmm. I'll have a little think. Have you got any for me?

Stacey:
Hmm. What do habits would I love to change?

Charlie:
I've got one. [Okay.] But I'd like you to change it.

Stacey:
No, This is what you have to learn to live with.

Charlie:
The amount you're on your phone.

Stacey:
I'm not on my phone that much. Sometimes I go hours. What's your... What's your daily screen time?

Charlie:
2 to 3 hours I think?

Stacey:
Mine's the same. [Okay.] To be fair, you get the worst part of my phone time because I'm in the office all day, and I don't go on my phone then [Mm hmm] really very much. Um, and I like to have a little phone binge at night-time. And you get to see that part of me.

Charlie:
Yes. And that's when I'm speaking to you, and you're like, Uh huh, Uh huh. Mm. And then I just see that you've shared a reel with me mid-conversation.

Stacey:
Just for the record, I've never done that. I do share reels with you, but it's, you know, to connect about something that I think you'll find funny.

Charlie:
Yeah. Instead of listening to the real conversation. Yeah.

Stacey:
You're not funny in real life.

Charlie:
Yeah. Right. Okay.

Stacey:
Okay. Two habits of yours that I would love to change.

Charlie:
I've got a few.

Stacey:
I actually. I struggle when I think about it. Oh, yeah, that's one.

Charlie:
I don't think I can say that in the podcast!

Stacey:
I've got. I've got one a lot that are just not podcast friendly.

Charlie:
What about my inability to crack on when I'm hung over?

Stacey:
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't know if that would be the top two. Hmm. I guess you are working on it. So you're already getting there to changing it. But you do make me late. And that's, I find very infuriating.

Charlie:
Yes.

Stacey:
You also resist my wish to plan. So you do everything in your power to not plan like you want to do the opposite of planning. Like, I basically just signed myself up to planning for you to make your life easier, and you're just like, Nope, no plans, just spontaneous all the time. We'll go to a country and just decide where are we going to sleep and eat and everything on the day.

Charlie:
Yeah, and we tried that in our last holiday and I've kind of seen why we shouldn't. [Yeah.] So for the last ten years, you've just been planning everything. And I've not seen the consequences of not planning anything. And finally, I've witnessed a trip where we didn't really get what we wanted.

Stacey:
We missed out on a few things because we didn't book them in.

Charlie:
So watch this space.

Stacey:
Okay, so that one's already in process of being changed. Two things that I could learn to live with is... I mean, this one is a little bit frustrating, but I benefit from it highly and that is that you are a bit of an OCD neat freak. [Yeah] I definitely can learn to live with that one because it means I have a lovely home to come home to and it's all tidy and nice and fresh. [Yeah.] So that's one that I am more than happy to live with.

Charlie:
You're very brave.

Stacey:
Yeah. So selfless.

Charlie:
Yeah, impressive.

Stacey:
And then...

Charlie:
I am actually very OCD. I've noticed it with some friends. Like we were just doing some sport the other day and I just automatically tidied up and they were like, Wow, look at you. [Yeah.] Weirdo.

Stacey:
And he also faffs. I think I'm already learning to live with this one. He faffs a lot. Takes a long time to get out the door or when we're at the beach and we need to like pack up to go. You take a solid like 7 minutes to pack up. I'm pretty much got everything in my bag. Shoes on, ready to go. If we had friends with us, they're long gone. They're half way up the hill.

Charlie:
Do you remember that girl? Remember that girl that we spent time with? And she said, shall we go? And then she literally just walked. She...

Stacey:
She just picked up her towel and left.

Charlie:
She just stood up as she said go. And she went, [Yeah]. I couldn't believe it.

Stacey:
And Charlie was like, what?! We've got at least another 7 minutes here packing up and getting rid of the sand and folding each item of clothing and towels...

Charlie:
Absolutely.

Stacey:
Into an order and packing up. And then... And then we can maybe consider walking away, but...

Charlie:
Walking slowly. [Yes.] Walking slowly. I'm a bit of a slow walker.

Stacey:
Oh, yes. I think that's that's actually one I might want to change about you.

Charlie:
Which one? Swap it with what?

Stacey:
I can't remember what the other two were now, so...

Charlie:
But you want that changed.

Stacey:
Yeah. I'd quite like you to walk faster and maybe even exercise with me. I'm going with three.

Charlie:
Hey, I've exercised with you recently. We've done some boxing.

Stacey:
True.

Charlie:
Yeah, right. That's it. That's the end of it. Thank you very much.

Stacey:
That was really quick.

Charlie:
Yeah, it's a bitesize one. [Oh, okay.] So everyone listens to this conversation.

Stacey:
Oh, that's a lot of pressure.

Charlie:
Oh. Thank you very much.

Stacey:
You are very welcome.

Charlie:
Bye bye.

Stacey:
Bye for now!

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Podcast host: Charlie:
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