Transcript of Premium Bonus 075- Transcript

Charlie:
Hello and welcome back to the British English Podcast. I'm your host, Charlie, and today's episode features a special guest. Uh, Stu from Stu Sensei English. Um, we engage in a culture rich conversation packed with native expressions, of course, and we're focusing on British humour and the way we use insults as a form of both comedy and, more broadly, communication. I encourage you to notice any similarities or differences between how our culture and yours incorporate insults into everyday interactions. Um, in the first part of our chat, we share personal Experiences related to this unique aspect of communication. I mean, my curiosity does then lead us to learn more about Stu's life journey, um, including stories that, uh, I found captivating. And I hope you will, too. Um, but yeah, let's get into the conversation with Stu. I should say a quick heads up. We do use some strong language in this episode as we discuss the types of insults people may throw around. And while we don't swear unnecessarily, I wanted to make sure you're aware that such language is included. But. Yeah. Enjoy. Stu, how are we doing?

Stu:
Fantastic! Thank you buddy. Really good. Yeah. Really great.

Charlie:
Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Indeed. Thank you very much for joining me today. Um, first of all, where are you right now in the world?

Stu:
I'm based in Japan.

Charlie:
You're based in Japan. Okay.

Stu:
Yes that's right.

Charlie:
Whereabouts in Japan?

Stu:
Um, I'm in a prefecture called Chiba, which is about an hour and a bit from Tokyo, so. But kind of countryside, so it's kind of nice.

Charlie:
Yeah. Okay, cool. We'll get to how you ended up there, I'm sure. But, um, I recently had a conversation with Dan from Brit speak. He's in Japan. Do you know him well?

Stu:
Yeah, yeah, we do a lot of work together. And. Yeah, a good friend of mine.

Charlie:
Oh, nice. Nice. Yeah. Are you two close in proximity? Like geography?

Stu:
Uh. Not greatly. I mean, he's not in England, so. Kind of in a sense, no, but he's he's in Osaka. So. Or close to Osaka, I should say so. Um, that's, uh, maybe four hours for us in England. That's a very long journey. But the rest of the world is quite short. But four hours? Yeah, four hours away. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Charlie:
So I was just at a wedding in Birmingham and a friend or family member came and drove from Inverness in Scotland. And it was like a nine hour drive, I think. And their Airbnb actually got cancelled on the way down. The Airbnb texted them saying we've had to cancel your accommodation, which was not nice, but the the, the travel in the UK is quite, um, quite strenuous. I think most people would look at it as a chore. When I was living in Australia, I felt like going on a road trip. It was kind of like fun and exciting and adventurous. How does it translate in Japan if you were to have to hit the road?

Stu:
Great question. But the thing is, actually, I don't drive. I haven't ever driven. So I did try my test once, but after that attempt, it took all my all of my, uh. Yeah, ego disappeared in that moment. I think when I failed, um, but no, no, um, I think that I can tell you a few differences though. For sure. In Japan there's a lot of tolls. There's a ton of them, like on most roads, so I know that it's if we're not talking about. Petrol or anything like this, it's, um, relatively expensive just through tolls.

Charlie:
Ah, okay. Yeah. That's not pleasant, is it? To to think. Okay, that stretch of the journey cost me £10. Yeah, yeah.

Stu:
Yeah, yeah. That's not nice. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, 100%.

Charlie:
Okay. Uh, so let's, uh, let's get into the theme of the conversation, and then we'll get to know you a little bit more and why you're in Japan and things like that. Um, so the theme, as I've intro'd is about British humour and particularly like the insults that we throw at each other, potentially. Um, so I wonder if you can cast your mind back to probably when you were in school, maybe before school. Depends how good you are at remembering your early years. Do you reckon you can recall a time where you remembered your first kind of insult being thrown your way? Or maybe you dished it out yourself?

Stu:
I mean, I remember a lot, unfortunately, about my own being insulted, too. Um, but, you know, the thing is, it's such a difficult thing to explain, especially in these days. I feel, um, to compare between when I was growing up to now and how people would react to those kind of things because I think, um, the way that people think of things in when I was growing up, I'm not that old, but it does feel like there's been a big change. But yeah, yeah, of course my my my my parents, my dad especially. Yeah, he's a bit of a joker sometimes. So, um. Yeah, I heard he used to, uh, have a laugh with his friends, have some banter, you know. Yeah. Um, but. Yeah. Okay.

Charlie:
Okay. So you would you would overhear that. Yeah. And that's actually making me think so. My niece. So she speaks like she's 30 years old, but she's like four. And just like there's mannerisms that are very mature, like I, I leant in to, um, actually, I insulted her. I said, you stinky poo poo face or something like that, because she was giving it to me and she said, whoa, whoa, whoa, you need to back up a bit. They're like very advanced phrasing. I feel like, wow. Yeah. And, um, so and we were thinking about why she might be like that, and her parents really don't filter their conversations in front of their children, and they're. Yeah, very raw with how they communicate. They don't baby everything down. I wonder if that reflects at all for you because you said that your father would just.

Stu:
Yeah. I mean, I think there's always an element of slightly adjusting language. I mean, we could look at swearing, for example. So I think that many people tend to when they can, they try to avoid, uh, swearing too much in front of their kids or in front of other people's kids. I think we try to be respectful in Britain of that, although you won't always see it, but I think people try to, um, but yeah, I think with family it's a bit especially behind closed doors. I think people were there. How can I say they let their guard down a little bit and they, um, they had just themselves, aren't they? And especially in the heat of the moment, um, people aren't their natural selves and things come out that people don't mean to, but it just comes out, you know, and yeah, of course there's insults to fly. Yeah.

Charlie:
Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Definitely. Okay. So you felt like that your father, uh, was saying things. Whereabouts are you from in the UK?

Stu:
Actually, I'm. I'm originally from Essex, but I live half of my life in Devon, so, um, 14 years in Essex and then up until 26, in Devon. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Charlie:
Um, so you were saying earlier that there's a big difference between when you were growing up and now in the way that we communicate, which I definitely agree with, but I think it's quite useful for listeners to understand that change because it might not have happened so drastically in their culture. I don't know, in Japan, has it changed significantly in comparison to English speaking cultures?

Stu:
Some of the things I see on TV, I think I just can't believe these things. Some of these things happen these days. It's not like a super abusive society or something like that, so don't get the wrong idea. But I just watch certain things and I'm like, that wouldn't work in the UK. You couldn't do it. Yeah, it's just like a small thing. They have a I don't want to say traditional, but something that, um, it's a bit difficult to explain, but they have like this paper fan thing, although it's not an insult, it's just an example. But they use it to friends, use it to hit each other on the head, like this kind of heavy white fan thing. And I just think that just wouldn't happen in the UK because it's just I think we're very tense around any kind of physical contact. So and insults these days especially. So.

Charlie:
Yeah.

Stu:
Yeah, that's, that's a kind of a small thing that still comes across sometimes not so much. It's again a similar there has been transition here, but um, yeah, maybe not as fast as in English speaking countries I think.

Charlie:
Okay. Okay. Yeah. Um, so let's travel back to maybe in the playground. What can you remember what kind of insults you would dish out me?

Stu:
I mean, I don't I think I'm relatively mild mannered, but I may have done. Of course, I think we all did as kids. I can't remember the exact, but I would have only given out as much as I got given. Yeah. So I think I think there was always that understanding, especially between friends or people. You knew there would be a bit of, uh, verbal abuse going both ways. Yeah. You know, so, um, and I've been a part of a lot of sports teams and things. So, um, back in the day, that was it was a very, uh, that kind of culture, a very banter style culture. So, yes, there was always some light hearted. Yeah, attacks on each other, kind of.

Charlie:
Like rugby or football or something else. Football.

Stu:
Specifically football. I played a lot of different sports, but football was the one that lasted the longest.

Charlie:
Yeah. Right. Okay. That yeah, it does go with the sport doesn't it. Um, were you, were you quite lippy to the other team? Would you, would you do that.

Stu:
For me it depends. Like I again it's only when something happens to me I tend to be on the defensive or attacking them, you know? So yeah, I was never someone to just start abusing people just because they're on the opposite team. But I do know so many people like that, you know, they're so passionate about their team and then they start attacking other people. Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah. I know lots of people like that.

Charlie:
I've never really had the gift of the gab. I think we say when it comes to insulting people really quickly, like with my group of friends, they're so much quicker at that kind of thing. And, um, I used to play football, but I also played cricket, and I was the wicket keeper and the the wicket keeper would have the chance of being in earshot of the batsman most of the time. And whenever I was batting, the wicket keeper was trying to put you off by saying little things.

Stu:
Little bit of sledging going, yeah.

Charlie:
Exactly. And I never had that ability. I was like, yeah, I was quite shy at kind of doing that. But um, lots of people were very, very quick at that, weren't they? Yeah. Um, I think the first thing I remember as a child, I got in trouble. Actually, I think it was year two. So what would that have been? How old?

Stu:
Year two would be about 7 or 8 years old.

Charlie:
Seven? Yeah. Eight years. Okay, so I learned this sort of sign language that is probably not right. But I did, um, for for those that can't see, I'm tapping my fingers on my hand and then doing a fist and then putting my thumb behind my shoulder. And I learned that as a in year two. And apparently it means why don't you f off? Ah, I didn't I didn't know how bad that meant or how how rude that was. But I said it to I did it to a girl who I fancied who was in the year above. And then she went and told on me, and I think my teacher confronted me and I burst into tears. I was so embarrassed that I got into trouble because she said, I'm going to tell your parents. Um, but yeah. So that for me, I think, um, says that swearing at year two was quite. Yeah. Quite dangerous. Do you reckon?

Stu:
I think definitely. Um, I think definitely that. Definitely. Um, how can I say that the, the culture around saying, what's the phrase that we use, the culture around effing and blinding. Yeah. Is that, um, you know, we use that silly thing where we say effing and blinding to kind of cover up what swearing is, really. And, um, that kind of shielding of language that we use that many parents try to avoid. You know, we tried to, um, drop off of using so many swear words as we grow up. I've done that as well as a parent. You know, I try and replace maybe the f word with fudge or something. You know, we we make these changes to try and avoid it. Um, and I think we kind of do shelter our kids a little bit from it when we can, but not, you know, it's not in everyone. Everyone wants to do that kind of thing. But yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that that's, um, it's a bit dangerous if you're a young kid doing it for sure.

Charlie:
Yeah, yeah, I remember replacing things as a as a school kid. I think we could get away with saying, oh, just p off instead of piss off. Yeah, or f off instead of fuck off. Um, we would never dare to say the C word.

Stu:
Yeah. Okay.

Charlie:
In my in my first in my primary school, I think that was a bit bit too scary. Was your primary school comfortable with that word?

Stu:
Definitely wouldn't be. But I mean, there might be people who have said it, but not not they wouldn't have done it in front of someone, I think in front of a teacher or something, you know. So but there might be some kids who have heard it and then have said it. And my, uh, school, my area in Essex wasn't the wasn't one of the best, let's put it that way. It was a little rough. Yeah. So there were there would have been people swearing at people for sure in the playground. But maybe. Yeah, the C word always feels like that one place too far. Yeah, I don't know. Whilst I was growing up especially, but then an interesting one and I talked to Dan about it. Funnily enough, bloody is one that when I was a kid was a very strong word. Still, my parents hated me saying it. But then now I feel like it's transition just meaning very. Yeah. You know, pretty much so yeah, that is interesting.

Charlie:
Yeah. Some, some parents have some sort of, uh, problems with certain words like, um, knackered. My parents would think that I'm saying that I'm tired from having so much sex.

Stu:
Oh, really? That's interesting.

Charlie:
I think there is a definition in the dictionary somewhere about it relating to being tired from that activity, but generally we use it just to mean we're tired, don't we?

Stu:
Exhausted. Yeah.

Charlie:
Yeah, yeah I'm knackered. Yeah. So they had a go at me whenever I said that kind of thing. But yeah it wasn't until second like secondary school that we ever started using the C bomb between our friends.

Stu:
The c-bomb. But still felt like, I don't know, I always felt a bit kind of. It was too far going too far when I say that one word. Yeah, I don't know what it is about it, but there's kind of like this extra mystery behind that specific word. It's really at the top of the pile of swear words. I think bitch is the one in American English, which is maybe similar. Sorry, I don't know if I can swear, but. Oh is.

Charlie:
It? Yeah, yeah. Please do. Yeah. That's. Yeah. Yeah. Feel free to. It's educational. Of course. Yes. Yeah.

Stu:
Always. Always. Um. But yeah, I think that that's on a similar level because the reaction that people are used to specifically, even though all of these swear words are just words and we put our own meaning behind them, and we feel like bloody is a good example of where our parents would think it's quite strong. But for our age, maybe we think it's nothing. We put our own meaning behind it. But the same similar reaction happens between those two words in those two countries.

Charlie:
Yes, yes. I, uh, I noticed because I think this is quite an interesting a useful episode to listen to for some who want to feel comfortable using swear words to sort of feel connected to a British person or somebody using English in a very informal way. But understand where you can and can't do that. Because I remember we had an immersion course and we all met in Brighton train station and in the first sort of, um, huddle of conversation that we had in the in the little huddle. One of the non-natives, uh, swore very quickly and sort of said, I think I can't remember if she said bitch or something, but she said something quite vulgar. And it just took me aback. And it made me contemplate how, yeah, it's about finding that fine line between when you when you can do it and when you can't do it.

Stu:
Yeah, yeah, yeah definitely is.

Charlie:
And I think once you've once you've bonded a little bit, it's definitely more open. But you've got to sense check what type of person they are before you try.

Stu:
I definitely would say that with British culture we tend to be more reserved. So swearing is a bit stands out a bit more. And then we I think we do, unconsciously or not. I think a lot of people do judge based on how frequently someone swears. And it's quite an interesting thing that learners should know, because I know a lot of learners that may listen to a lot of songs and learn through music, and then they become, they learn like these swear words, and then they use them in nearly every sentence, and they don't realise the image that that gives off. Now, I in American culture it's a bit more laid back, but even some Americans I know Still feel that strength. That. That same feeling that I do. Yeah. And other people do about using the F word every sentence. There's other words, you know.

Charlie:
So yes. Yes. It's also about repetition, isn't it? As soon as you repeat the same vocabulary, it suggests that you don't have any other vocabulary to use. Um, but yeah, it's again a cultural thing. Like I was living in Australia, as I said earlier, and I was looking for a place to live, and an estate agent showed me around a flat. And within the first couple of moments, you know, bear in mind this relationship, we've got a very professional setting, he said. The C word like he he described the area and he used the C word. It just amazed me.

Stu:
That is incredible. Yeah, that's like a like because I can understand a mistake being made between people that you feel are friends, you know, you feel you're friends with them and you might make the mistake of swearing too much, then that's slightly different because it's informal, but in a professional setting it's interesting. It is, isn't it?

Charlie:
Yeah. So I think as, as British people, we've got this very dialled in sense of when we can and can't use it because many times people are complete potty mouths in certain situations. But yeah, it's just when and where. But what about the teachers? Did they ever were they ever, like rude in your childhood? Would they ever swear at you or insult you?

Stu:
Definitely not swear. It'd be a rare circumstance where someone does something wrong where? And I think everyone's like that. Where there's a limit they hit, and then it's impossible to control what comes out. Um, the red mist, I think we say quite often, don't we? So, um, but I don't feel like I experience swearing specifically, but there would be something. Maybe. Um, some I've heard teachers say like you stupid idiot or something like this, which is actually still damaging, but it depends. Again, I feel like in those days people didn't take it as strongly as we do now. I think we're way more aware of mental health, and that's a good thing, of course. And and it's one of the reasons why I think that we we wouldn't tolerate that at all. You know, now.

Charlie:
Yes, yes, yes. That's true. Um, so with your, with your friends, did you feel like, uh, going into your teenage years? I just noticed a point in my life that I did actually enjoy the humour of it, rather than just finding it upsetting or damaging or anything. I think it was. It was when I actually saw my friend wrote down what he really enjoyed in a friend. We did this weird little exercises in our in our form, just one off Exercise in our form group. And it was like, what makes a great friend? And he wrote down somebody who teases me. And I was like, why would you write that down? As that age? I was just like trying to understand what that's about. And then from then on, I kind of appreciated the, the banter kind of relationship. But, um, yeah, I think that allowed for a kind of change in insults and using it as a way to bond and tease each other. Did you notice a shift between primary school and secondary school with that kind of behaviour? I mean.

Stu:
Probably the frequency increased. I like, you know, I've been a teacher for kids and so I could see things from a slightly different perspective now to back then. And you definitely see a transition between primary and secondary and, or even, I'd say the ending years of primary and then secondary. And it all depends on their own environment as well. So like like we talked about depending on the parents and especially if they have older siblings, is the is the big one to how kids use language. So um, but definitely there's a jump in frequency as soon as secondary school comes around because you go from being the top level in a school, don't you? The top year, the big dogs, and then suddenly you're at the bottom. So you become this shy individual again. And because you're resetting yourself. And the only way to do that, I suppose in especially in British society, where sarcasm is so big, where you're essentially mocking people to make some kind of joke, um, is to build relationships with that. And that tends to be what we do, I think in general, and I think a lot I teach a lot of students who who have moved to the UK, um, and help them settle in and obviously improve their English. But it's not just that. As a teacher, you're doing a lot more than just teaching English. You're also helping them understand these cultural differences. And so many students end relationships with people when someone uses sarcasm or uses an insult to them because they don't understand the cultural side of it. Actually, it's a positive thing in British culture, even though you know you wouldn't imagine it. It is a kind of it means you've got a close relationship. You jest with each other. Yeah. Completely.

Charlie:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like it's so interesting inviting them up to dance. Yes. It's like, I like you. I'm going to insult you. Yeah. And it's it's.

Stu:
That thing in the, in the school playground in primary school where the girl that you like you would or the whoever you liked, you would then do something to them to actually it actually harms them. But you're trying to show that you like them. You know, I don't know if you had that kind of, um, that kind of system, system is the wrong word. But, you know, that kind of culture. In primary schools, but I felt like it was in a lot of primary schools anyway.

Charlie:
Yeah, it's definitely yeah, yeah. Because yeah, treat them I mean at an early age.

Stu:
Treat them and keep them keen.

Charlie:
Yeah, exactly. You'd kind of understand how to how to flirt, but, um, it was quite a physical, just like a pushing them. And you're like, yeah, you pushed me. And then they'd be like, oh, he fancies her kind of thing.

Stu:
Yeah, yeah.

Charlie:
Yes. So that's that's the beginning of it, isn't it? Um, so you've you've experienced it yourself, where students have said that they felt like they were being insulting and then they stopped the relationship.

Stu:
Insulted. Yeah. Insulted to. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. Not just 1 or 2. Like quite a few. Well, it's it depends where you're from, I think is the key thing. So especially if it's a Japanese student who moves to the UK and they don't expect it, I think is the key thing. There is that banter here as well, But only with long term relationships and to become someone's long term friend. It's a lot, a lot more difficult than I would say it is in the UK. In the UK it could be immediate, to be honest. When people click, they click.

Charlie:
Yeah, I was going to say like even I would imagine on the dating apps like to stand out, you'd probably have to throw a little bit of teasing around in the first few messages just to get their attention. I haven't used them. I actually haven't used them because I've been with my partner quite a while.

Stu:
good thing to say out there.

Charlie:
But I would imagine that that would be the case to sort of show that you've got a bit of a personality. That's why people do it, isn't it, to show that you've got a personality?

Stu:
Yeah, I think so. I mean, but it's it's just ingrained in everything that we do as, as British people. I think I'll tell you a really interesting thing I learned about comedy from Stephen Fry. Okay, so Stephen Fry said that there's a big difference between British humour and American humour, which we know there is, but the way he articulated it is very interesting. Basically, in American humour, if you watch a sitcom, the lead person tends to be the hero and everyone around them is the fall. But in British sitcom we are very self-deprecating, aren't we? So we are always the fall guy. Yeah. So if you ever watched Not Going Out or like Lee Mack, that's a great example of someone who always is the person who is losing. And but you're you're kind of wanting him to do well in his journey. Yeah. So you have that strong feeling of you want him to improve and get better and this kind of thing, but he's always the fall guy, the butt of all the jokes, you know? So yeah.

Charlie:
Yes. That's a really, really good point. I like that a lot. And I think The Office is a good example of how they challenge that, because Americans saw that work so well and they were like, okay, how are we going to make this work in America? And they had to change it slightly. They couldn't couldn't make him exactly the same kind of character. They had to almost make him more childish.

Stu:
It's a bit big humour. I call it.

Charlie:
Big humour.

Stu:
In your face, you know. You know what the joke is immediately. I think British humour is a little bit more subtle. Yes. You know, and you have to kind of weave through things to find what the joke is. Yeah. So yeah, yeah.

Charlie:
We have come to the end of part one, so feel free to take a break from your listening practice, but if you're happy to keep going, then we're now moving on to part two of this episode. Thanks so much for being a premium or Academy member and enjoy the rest of the show. You touched on sarcasm earlier. Do you remember when you started to understand it, or did you straight away? Yeah.

Stu:
Like I said, I surrounded by, um, by people, uh, joking about all the time. My, my dad is a used to be a taxi driver in London and he would work like ungodly hours, of course. So like he would be, he started work at 6 p.m. pretty much every day. Right. And then come back at 3 a.m. and but the one thing he loved to do each week was to go to a specific pub and we'd play pool and darts and stuff. So I was always surrounded by, uh, men and their humour, to be honest with you, at that age, you know, he was most of his friends were like, uh, middle aged men, same age as him. But they were always, you know, there's always that banter and also learning stuff from each other kind of thing. So.

Charlie:
I bet he's got some stories about what he experienced in those taxis at those hours.

Stu:
Yeah, well, I did have one. It's one of my biggest videos on YouTube. I did one-to-one interview with him. Yeah, yeah. And, um, and people love listening to his stories. So when I go back, I'm going to have to record one every single day on there, I think. Yeah. To last me for a year until I go again, you know. So yeah.

Charlie:
I think I heard about a podcast coming out, um, in Sydney and they were just going into, into Ubers or, or taxis and they were having conversations with the driver, and that was the whole show. The premise of that was to tell us your stories of being a taxi driver, because I think they're so they're probably so colourful.

Stu:
`He's got so like, it's ridiculous, like, you can't stop him once he's once he starts going, you know, he's picked up so many famous people. Really? Not that people that wouldn't not not people that people these days might know, but people that when I was growing up, when he told me their names. Because the ones that ones specifically he told me were things that he introduced me to. So he introduced me to some really old comedy like The Goon Show. I don't know if you know The Goon Show, Spike Milligan and Harry Secombe, etc. and then also, obviously Monty Python was a big thing, but also The Two Ronnies and and he's picked up both of the Ronnies more than once. Jemmy white is a good one because I like I used to watch a lot of snooker when I was growing up. So Jemmy White and and Alex Higgins and then also George Best, who's also picked up at some point. So yeah. Yeah. So he has all of these, you know, tales. Unfortunately I can't verify them. But but yeah, basically he has all of these these stories you know. And yeah, it'd be great.

Charlie:
To include him having playful conversations with them like or is he being quite professional.

Stu:
Yeah. Only if they start it with him I think you know I wouldn't know. But that's the, the, the gist I would get from him and the way he was, because obviously that was when I probably before I was born. A lot of those people were like 70s 80s, aren't they, when they were big. So he would have picked them up then, and I don't know how his personality would have changed over that time, especially when he's younger. And, you know, as we get older, we tend to be more recluse, shall we say. Yeah. So reserved. And so I think that, yeah, it'd be interesting to know which kind of cabbie he was, whether he was a chatty cabbie or if he was just a wait until someone starts the conversation with him kind of guy.

Charlie:
Yeah. That reminds me of, uh, the app called Blablacar. Have you heard of that? It's a car sharing app where you get to. You travel with, um, other people that are wanting to hop on your journey. So if you're going up the country, people could join you in your in your car and you have to state whether you're blah, blah, blah or blah blah blah as a driver.

Stu:
Like how you talk a lot if you don't talk a lot. Okay, that's good to understand.

Charlie:
Whether you want to get in a car with a very, very chatty person for five hours or not. But yeah. That's interesting. So you were you were in Essex and then you went to Devon. Um, yeah. Any. So you went at 14, did you say?

Stu:
Yeah. 14. Yeah. 14 options. Yeah. Yeah.

Charlie:
Okay. Was, uh, was there a noticeable difference in obviously the landscapes, but the culture at that age. Were you sensitive to that kind of thing or. Not really.

Stu:
I would say like I said before, where I grew up was quite rough, so I'd seen some. I'm not some kind of gangster. I'd seen some awful things. No. Um, I've had basically I, um, I'd.

Charlie:
Seen show me how many fingers you've got.

Stu:
I can't unfortunately, uh, otherwise I'll be in trouble. Um, but no, I, I've seen, like, people going down the wrong route, basically where I, where I lived before and then and then moving to Devon, which is the countryside. Yeah, of course, things are a bit different. You can't say that no one goes in the wrong way, but it's less frequent, I think, because there's less. Everyone's spaced out. So, for example, when I travelled to school in Essex, I would get a bus, but most of the people were in the area, in the same town, but in, in where I lived in Devon, I was on the edge of Dartmoor. So Dartmoor is a huge national park if no one knows. And um, basically all the small villages, I lived in a village with like 3000 people and all the small villages there were coached into the, uh, into the school. So basically there were many coaches that took them in. Yeah. Um, and coached in. That's a kind of interesting way I've used that. But anyway, yeah, they kind of bused in. Let's say bussing is probably easier to understand. Yeah. From different locations. So because of that, it's impossible to create, create these huge groups of people. Um, you know, necessarily going on the wrong path or the right path. It's normally a lot smaller, maybe 5 or 6 people instead of 10 or 12, you know. So I think because of that, it doesn't allow for so much, uh, not as much negativity I think. Yeah.

Charlie:
Mhm. Yes. Well I mean I went to New Zealand when I was out in Australia and I felt like everyone had just endless resources and there was such little crime, there was so everywhere felt really safe because I mean why would you argue if you've got all that you need? And it sure helps me compare to more urbanised areas that you need to fend for yourself to, to get where you need to go and things like that on a, on a life scale. I mean, not just an A to B kind of thing, but, um, I think that kind of speaks to it like the countryside versus more urban areas potentially. Um, but Devon particularly, I feel like that's got its own own culture in itself. Did you did you like that environment?

Stu:
Well, I think when you when everyone's so far apart, you kind of more together in a sense, you know. So you have a closer small group of people that you're in that you're kind of friends with for life. You know, I don't really speak to my friends so much. I'm so far away. But whenever I go back, it's just like I haven't left, you know? So it's like that. But I think we have that in general in the UK. But I think because of that, also the small town and there's just a few people there and you, you can kind of handpick who you think are the right people to be with, you know. So yeah, I think that that's one part of it for sure.

Charlie:
Nice. How long were you in Devon for?

Stu:
Um, I was in Devon for. I'm going to say 12 years, right?

Charlie:
Yes. 12 years. Okay.

Stu:
So, yeah.

Charlie:
Is that when you left to go to Japan after that point?

Stu:
Yeah. When I was well I said 12 years so I, I obviously university as well. I was in Cardiff for university close to Cardiff. Okay. Yeah. So again another different place. Yeah. And I spent a year, uh, working in a management team in Bournemouth. So yeah I've been in many different places. But my, my second home is Devon for sure.

Charlie:
Right, right.

Stu:
Really my main home because it's the, it's the. You don't really remember so much the first 12 to 14 years you know. But the rest of it, especially as you become an adult, you remember them more strongly I think, because they're closer.

Charlie:
So I would say, yeah. Your formative years, 12 to 18, kind of those kind of years, particularly for me. Okay. So you lived in Cardiff for a little bit for university or just outside of Cardiff?

Stu:
Just outside of Cardiff. Yeah, yeah.

Charlie:
And that was fun.

Stu:
Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. I mean, that's another culture. Maybe. I don't know if you discussed about it before, but like a freshers week and this kind of thing that people don't really have.

Charlie:
It's been touched on. But it's definitely part of this kind of, um, episode's theme in a way, because there's a lot of physical insults in Freshers Week. How did you experience that one?

Stu:
I actually, I was lucky. I mean, I didn't know anyone there, but I didn't really have to deal with anything like that. I didn't immediately join a sports team, so I didn't have to go through any of the, uh, initiation process. Process? Yeah. So I was kind of lucky, I think. But I know people like who have to go through. I don't know if you call them insults, but they're kind of like the thing you have to do. But if you looked at it separately and I said to you with no context, I'll. This guy, um, went out drinking and then? Then all of his mates, um, took off all his clothes and tied him to a lamppost. You you know, you'd think that that was like that. Obviously, they hate that guy, but actually, no, it's it's part of the process to to build the bond between team-mates. Yes. Yeah. In certain places. Luckily, I didn't have to deal with any of that, though. Yeah.

Charlie:
Yeah. Hazing, I guess as well.

Stu:
Hazing. It's a nice word. Yeah.

Charlie:
Yeah. My wife, she joined the dance team, and I think all of the fresher girls had to eat dog food and then down some drinks and stuff, and then, I don't know, hold a goldfish or something in their hands. Yeah. It was very strange. Very strange thing.

Stu:
hold a goldfish. I mean, that's so, so specific. Was the fair in town? Where did they get them all from? No.

Charlie:
Uh, no goldfish were harmed during this recording. It has to be said yes. So. So did you, because it's it's hard to always get the locals perspective on things when you're a university goer, because I was in Nottingham, but I met a few locals, but they. Yeah, the locals sometimes don't have a love for the uni students. Did you get to know many of the Welsh people whilst you were there?

Stu:
You know what, it's a really interesting question because you know the thing I have to explain to a lot of people who are going to university if they're a student, because I sometimes have that and I have to explain that we travel quite far for uni in England. I feel like we almost it's a very interesting part of British culture is that at 18 you kind of separate yourself from your parents. You become completely independent. I didn't live with my parents after 18, you know, even though I was in the same town and even when I was single, I didn't live with them. I had my own place or I lived with my friend, you know? So it's like kind of separating away from and similarly going to uni, it's kind of the initiation of that. So I decided I wanted to go far away. Not that I didn't like my parents, but you know, I just wanted to experience something different.

Charlie:
Yeah. And that's yeah, that's that's most people think like that. Yeah. In our environment don't they.

Stu:
Yeah 100%. Yeah. So yeah. Travelling to Cardiff. And luckily though the interesting thing was there were a lot of Welsh people going to that university because I just imagined when I went to university that everyone would be from everywhere around the country, and there's a lot of people from around the country, but there was a I would say 40% of them were Welsh, which was interesting for me. Yeah. And um, so I got to experience a lot of the Welsh culture. But saying that, sorry, if you can hear my kids saying that, um, Cardiff is the capital and it's very close to England, so it always capital cities are quite multicultural in the UK, and I wasn't far away from the capital. So to say that I experienced like deep, um, British Welsh culture is, yeah, a bit unfair to say, I think, but I did experience quite a few things.

Charlie:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you get to see if there was a change, if there was a difference in humour at all?

Stu:
I don't think it's so different, but I think that the insults are a bit more direct from what I remember. Yeah, but I didn't I didn't see a huge difference. I think it's relatively similar. Yeah.

Charlie:
I've only got a couple of, um, like direct Welsh friends through some other friends, and they are very rugby. And with that comes quite macho, manly sort of drinking culture and humour with it and, and telling anecdotes and stories as well. That felt like part of their Identity, but again, it's only like 2 or 3 people that I'm. Talking about right now. But I don't know if that came through for you.

Stu:
Yeah, I wonder obviously definitely the rugby side 100% like you can't get away from it. You know.

Charlie:
Yeah.

Stu:
So but I learn a lot. I didn't really know I played rugby, but I didn't really know so much about it. But I learned a lot while being there because of that. You know, it's so ingrained in the culture. Yes.

Charlie:
So yes, it's a big thing. Um, I wonder if the 40% thing that you just said about how many locals there were there or Welsh people, is this to do with, um, free tuition? Because Scotland has free tuition? Does Wales?

Stu:
It's a great question. I couldn't tell you to be if I'm 100% honest, I couldn't tell you. But.

Charlie:
But did you have to pay for tuition?

Stu:
Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Yeah, yeah. Tuition and board. Board. Do we call it board tuition and housing anyway. Yeah.

Charlie:
Yeah, yeah. But I think if you go to, if you go to Scotland it's the tuition is waived even if you're not born from Scotland. Wow. In Scotland. Sorry. I think I made.

Stu:
A mistake then.

Charlie:
Yeah. No. My friends went to Edinburgh. I was like, why do you want to go to Edinburgh? It's freezing up there. And I've recently been. It's a lovely city. Um, but they were like, um. Oh, it's free tuition. I was like, what? Yeah. So like half the price. Pretty much from what I paid.

Stu:
Yeah. But when you compare our fees compared to American fees, have you ever seen the difference?

Charlie:
I, um, I haven't seen the exact exchange, but I would imagine that they're three times more.

Stu:
I see it's horrific. Yeah, it's really horrific. Like, I come out, I needed two years. I did just a foundation degree. My my course was like a the first time it was ever done. I was in the second year of it. I did football coaching right when I went to university. And um, so it's just a foundation degree, but I only came out with like, uh, was it 12 grand debt. It wasn't really much, you know. Okay, so it would have been 18 if I did the full three years if there was a pathway for that which there is now. But there wasn't at the time. Yes. Um, but it's still I know people that come away from uni with like 50 grand.

Charlie:
America or in here.

In America. Yeah. I haven't heard. Only if, like the doctors. Well, I don't know about now, but. Yeah, when I was at university anyway. Yeah.

Charlie:
It's pretty brutal Americans, because they have to pay it back almost immediately or start paying it back almost immediately as well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was about 18 or 19,000 in, in the hole, can we say in thewhole, uh, in the ground,

Stu:
In the, in the red, definitely in the red.

Charlie:
In the red.

Stu:
Yes. Yeah.

Charlie:
Yes, definitely. Um, okay. So you went to university in Cardiff and then. No, you went to Bournemouth and then you went to Japan?

Stu:
That's right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Basically living in Devon for the majority of it. Yeah.

Charlie:
And talk to me about the transition to Japan. What was the reason that you went.

Stu:
Uh, my wife. So originally I was managing in hotels. So you're talking about insults earlier? Of course, I had a lot of, um, insults thrown at me or complaints, but I called them insults a lot of the time. Uh, luckily, I'm pretty good at managing them, but there were a lot. Yeah, you get a lot of abuse when you're when you have to deal with any kind of complaints, I feel. And, um, we have kind of a strange culture in hospitality where people will go into restaurants and find any fault to get a free meal in the UK. So it's kind of a horrific kind of, uh, industry to be in. But after that, anyway, I went to I work in a, um, a kind of care village is the best way I could explain it. So I worked with adults who've learned, uh, no adults with learning disabilities, and it's a charity organisation. And so to run it they had to they offered an opportunity or they still do for people to come from other countries to stay there for a year for free. And they pay for your food for free, but you have to work 30 hours a week, so it's great. And you still get the same, you know, rulings like we have in, in, in the UK for like holidays and things. So it's actually great if you want to travel in Europe, you know. Um, yeah. So I met my wife there and then we moved to Japan. That's it.

Charlie:
Right. Okay. So we have come to the end of part two now. So again, feel free to pause the episode, to take a break from your listening practice and come back to the last part when you're ready. All right, so moving on to part three now. Enjoy. Yeah. And so she was here for a long period of time or just that.

Stu:
She just she did two years I believe maybe two and a half years.

Charlie:
Two and a half years. Okay. And it was obvious to you when you met that you would be going to Japan or that was a.

Stu:
No, no, not at all. Like we I was when I started that job, I was with another person. So yeah, I didn't imagine anything like that. Of course I'd always Japan, I think on everyone's mind in the UK, you know, because it's so distant and or somewhere in Asia or Australia or somewhere where it's quite distant. We always think about, oh, that would be cool, and it'd be on your bucket list. Yeah. To not do, you know, but um, but, um, but, uh, you know, just the way things worked out, it just just happened to go down that route, you know? So. Yeah.

Charlie:
Okay. And that was, uh, landing in where you are now. Like you moved to this location or did you?

Stu:
Straight to where I am?

Charlie:
Yeah. Straight to where you are in Chiba.

Stu:
Yeah. Yeah.

Charlie:
Okay. So you've been there how many years now? Ten.

Stu:
Nearly ten years. Yeah.

Charlie:
Ten years. Right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you. Do you feel fully integrated?

Stu:
Um, I would say that it's kind of a bit more of a challenge. How can I explain when I. I've always been an English teacher. So just before leaving, I helped a lot of the people with English skills. The people that were coming over at my previous job and then when coming to Japan, to Japan, obviously became an English teacher. And then, um, that kind of limits the time you use Japanese, to be honest with you. You know, and I've got kids as well. So, um, I didn't really. I just used English at home. Right. So the one side I would say that is a bit limited is that I use Japanese. I can speak Japanese, but not to the level where you could be fully integrated, I would say. I'd say language has such a big part to play in, being able to feel like you can integrate for one. Yeah, and I would say in Japan, uh, here people were a little less, uh, it's a little, a little more difficult to become integrated because, um, Japan, to be honest. Japan's only been open as a country for 140 years or something, and they don't have too many. They hadn't had too many foreign visitors. Um, so there's less exposure, whereas in the UK, I think it's a bit easier actually. You could have like B1 level and and be very integrated. I know so many people like that, you know. So, um, do.

Charlie:
You mean integrated into British, uh, friendship groups or the.

Stu:
Like I said earlier, you know, sometimes you just click, don't you, with someone. So it doesn't matter. I think we're quite I don't know what's happened in the last, let's say, three years. I know there's been a lot of, you know, negative news recently, but I would say whilst I was there that UK is very multicultural and people are generally very accepting and um, and the people that I met that came from different places, they were just integrated quite easily because you, you accept every individual for the individual, not from where they're from. So if they if they're a person, that's annoying. That's nothing to do with where they're from. It's because they're an annoying person. Yeah. So you just don't spend time with the annoying person. That's it. But if you're someone who's, um, you know, willing to take the time to get to know people, then I think, yeah, anyone's going to want to, you know, uh, get to know you if you allow them to. And I a lot. Like I said, a lot with my students. There's a lot of that going on. You know, they don't. They say they can't speak English, but they can. You know, it's just that confidence barrier. And then their lack of English speaking stops them from communicating with people. But as soon as that's unlocked, it's like, boom, two things jump out immediately. They integrate, they feel more settled. They can then speak more English than their English improves. Actually, I'm not doing anything in a sense because they just need to speak more frequently. That's it. But it's just building the confidence to let them know that you don't need to be C2 level to get a good job in the UK. Like that's a big myth, you know? And most of my students who have become managers or something, they're B2, B2 maybe. So it's just about how you use the language, not necessarily what you know, you know. So yeah.

Charlie:
Beautifully said. Yeah, I totally agree with you. Um, one of my Danish friends, he feels like he's funny in English, but loses his humour when he goes back to. Yeah. When he goes back to speaking in Danish. Um, do you do you know any people that feel like they've unlocked a bit more humour using a non-native language? Because I would find that quite hard. Like I study Spanish, but I mean, I don't think I could, I could comment on that, really. I mean, I'm not as advanced as he is in his English, but yeah, I don't know.

Stu:
It depends. I do know a lot of people, a lot of Japanese people that I've spoken to who have learned English, who say they feel like they have a second personality. Yeah. Put it that way. Yeah. It's a very common thing. And I think especially from more conservative societies, you would feel that, you know, in Japan, people tend to follow each other. Let's put it that way. You know, you try not to be the one in the million. You don't want to be the person who stands out and it tends to be the thing. I would say people who have learned English are the people that stand out, actually, because they, um, they see a different side of things and they see how things could be, um, in their life and they tend to choose a different route. A lot of the time. So it's a really interesting thing to to watch develop. Obviously either way is fine. There's no there's no right way of doing things. But of course, you know, it's interesting to see people, uh, feel differently after they've lived abroad or after they've started learning a language and seeing how people use it, because it's the language kind of.

Stu:
And the culture. Hand in hand, in my opinion. So if if he's saying that he can't be as funny in Danish, that to me says maybe he's mastered sarcasm, or he's very good at having these informal conversations with people. And maybe in Danish you can't do that. Or there's like a it's a bit repressed, you know, or the humour is slightly different. And and a good example of that is when one of my best mates is American, and sometimes he doesn't understand the jokes that I make, and we both speak the same language, but it's just the cultures are different. And he might think what I'm joking about is serious, but sarcasm is like, it's it's it's so out there that it can't be made serious. You know, it's just ridiculous what you're saying. But some people can take it the wrong way. So yeah, I can understand what the what your friend is saying. You know, it makes a lot of sense to me.

Charlie:
Yes. Yeah, I think I think what you said makes sense as well. Yeah, that's true about the American kind of British, um, humour barrier. Like they've got amazing humour and they've made amazing content. But there is something that Brits, I would say are proud about in the subtlety of our humour And yeah, that does kind of crop up then. I wonder if, if you can like give a, an understanding of how to know when somebody's being sarcastic. But yes.

Stu:
It's, it's, it's not the easiest thing 100%. And sometimes like for example, I remember when I used sarcasm in Japan, it failed miserably.

Charlie:
I wanted to ask you about that actually.

Stu:
Yeah, yeah. So I got a great story. So I was off for a week, sick from my job. I rarely get sick, but that week I had a virus and I went back to work and. And the boss, the big boss, came up to me and said, Who's Japanese? He said to me, um, are you okay? Is everything all right now? Are you okay to be back? And I said, no, I'm still so sick. It's awful. But obviously I'm thinking it's sarcastic. You know, most people, I think, who are British would see the facial expression, the kind of the way the intonation on that was. But he was like, oh, really? You know, and he took it really seriously. And as soon as I said, no, I'm joking. He was angry because, you know, because he's tried to show compassion. So I completely get it. You know, you're trying to show like that you want to support someone. So immediately after that day, I stopped using sarcasm, especially at work, you know, because.

Stu:
It's, I really get the language barrier or the cultural barrier there because it's, it's just two things that especially when you're learning, especially when you're learning a language, it's a little unfair to try and expect someone to understand that kind of thing. When you're when you take as a language learner, you take everything at face value. So whatever language you're learning, even for us, I think as British people learning another language, we still would take things at face value to start with, of course. And then we have this secondary mode where we understand sarcasm. So we would maybe get it if it was being used in a second language. But we still the initial is did I translate everything correctly? Yeah. You know. So yeah.

Charlie:
That's where the brain is processing.

Stu:
First. Yeah, 100%. Yeah.

Charlie:
Yeah I can see that that perspective of, of the was it the head teacher, did you say or the boss.

Stu:
Yeah, yeah. The the the the big boss of the, of the school I was working at. Yeah, yeah. Not the head teacher. It's like an independent thing but. Yeah. Anyway. Right.

Charlie:
Yes. Yes. Seeing that. Yeah. Trying to be empathetic and then being almost made to look like the fool. Um, yeah. Yeah. That's, that's a hard lesson to learn from.

Stu:
100% yeah.

Charlie:
Um, I don't know if you know of Chris Broad, the, uh, YouTuber. Yeah, yeah. Um, I saw his book. I was in the, in the one of the Waterstones that I was in recently. Amazing. Really. So cool.

Stu:
That's interesting.

Charlie:
Um, so he said a story of and I want to just clarify if you can, um, understand this about Japanese people. He went to a school and at the end of the head teacher sort of giving him a briefing, they shared a moment of silence, and he didn't know what this was then, but the head teacher was just, um, present with him and didn't say anything and wanted to just experience some silence together. And I've, I know that Buddhism isn't necessarily part of the culture, but I went to a Buddhist retreat recently and and they were huge on sharing silence whilst making eye contact. And I thought, God, this is just so alien to our experience. Like if you're if you're having any silence, even with a close friend, sometimes it feels tense. It feels awkward.

Stu:
Yeah, yeah. Awkward. Yeah. You have to feel the gap.

Charlie:
Yeah. Any, any, um, experience of this kind of thing for you.

Stu:
Maybe I didn't notice, but. So that's probably why I'm. Maybe I haven't integrated so. Well. No, I guess it's just, um, I guess. No, I didn't experience that like that. Um, you would know if there was a silence there. Yeah, yeah, you just know it's there. And, you know, from the expressions of people, if you break the silence when it's not meant to be broken, um, you know that there's a problem. I don't think I've been in that circumstance. But on the other hand, I think I've got better at dealing with silence as well. So it's like a two way street on that one.

Charlie:
Mhm. Yeah.

Stu:
Yeah. I haven't experienced what he experienced anyway. Okay. And that sounds like more tense because it's the boss. So it's. Yeah. Yeah.

Charlie:
Right. Okay. Um is there anything else that we haven't touched on that you felt like you might want to share in this episode? Because I had a list of questions here, but I haven't really stuck to them. I just kind of wanted to.

Stu:
That's my fault. I think we went off on a tangent a little bit.

Charlie:
No, I like I like tangents, I prefer to get to know the the human that I'm speaking with. But, um. Yeah. Was there anything that you felt like you might want to mention or. We've covered most of it.

Stu:
If you want to look back at the the insult where we're kind of in between the two, aren't we? Between insults and humour, which is kind of linked in British culture, I think. Yeah. And then we look at a child's version of humour where it's very black and white. And then for us it's, it's a very, very grey. I think as you mentioned, it's interesting as I've taught more, more students with different levels to see how it develops over time and how how students understand the thing as they get older. So you can with as a teacher, I teach a variety of different students, but when I teach kids I know I have, my humour has to be very, you know, almost in-your-face, but with like a sudden twist. So it has to like you're going down one route and they can sense a jog, but then you have to twist it and suddenly change it. And then that always gives the best reaction because they're not expecting it, but they still understand why it's it's wrong. And often it's just like putting a thing out of place. It's not even a joke half the time. It's like, um, uh, if you I wonder, I don't even know if I've got an example, but if you, for example, you're talking about just something so small and simple, like having your teaching different vocabulary, for example, and you have like a bottle of water and even just changing the, the inside of the bottle, but continuing like it's a normal, like it's meant to be part of it. So you say, and then if I've got this bottle of Coke and then they immediately jump on it, you know, like that. And they. And then it's that British, but it's that British style where you make yourself look stupid. Yeah, but it can really engage people, you know, especially from a younger age. And then as they get older, you kind of have to really twist the dial on the, on the subtlety, you know, to build that kind of you can't talk to people the same way, you know, as they grow up. Yeah.

Charlie:
So yes, I agree.

Stu:
I think it's important, you know, we don't expect to be talked as stupid person as you get older. Yeah.

Charlie:
Yeah. I've noticed that in in the way that I was speaking to my niece like the other day. Yeah. Doing silly things to make us look foolish. And then they'll be like, no, that's not right or something like that. And then that kind of transcends into the nuance in your in the way that you're speaking or something to a teenager. It's kind of the same thing, but it's just so subtle and so non-physical.

Stu:
Yeah, but as a as a learner of a language, we do think like a beginner. Like a child. Really? Yeah. We talked about that translating part. So we are trying to translate literally. And then sometimes even the simplest things for a language learner actually works because they get the they're kind of getting two hits where they're getting, oh, I understand what was said. And I also understand why it's different.

Charlie:
Yeah. So it's a.

Stu:
Real interesting like. Yeah.

Charlie:
Sorry. No, I was just thinking that's that's why a lot of the time when you see a comedian that like, says something political or like quite intellectual or quite nuanced towards your industry, you get that kick of like a double kick because it's funny and you feel like, proud in yourself that you understand it almost.

Stu:
Yeah, that's exactly it. Yeah, 100%. So that's a like there's as an interesting I watched I watched a lot of Jemmy Carr. So when when I come back over, I hope to see him. I think he's on tour. But he did. He did a like a stupid, really stupid joke where he had this guy on stage and, um, just a random guy from the audience, and he said, look, you give me any topic, um, and I'll make a joke from it instantly. And then he said, okay, drum and bass, okay, the guy. And then he's just like, okay, um, why, why, why can't the thing is, I've forgotten it and I've destroyed the joke, but it's something like, um, why did the dancing monkey get lost in the jungle, get lost in the forest or something like this? Yeah. And obviously the guy says, why? And he says, because jungle is massive, so, like, it's just a stupid. Again, no one listened to this. Maybe understands and the nuance is kind of gone. But for me, I'm not a big person into drum and bass, but when I was younger I had the connection. So I thought that that's actually fantastic. But anybody who has no connection to that is lost. Yes. You know. So even as native speakers, if we have no connection, it's lost. Yeah. You know. So even with jokes. So it's not just learners who don't understand. If there's a some of us, even native speakers, don't get the joke sometimes because we're not we have no connection to it, you know. So yeah.

Charlie:
Yeah. Yeah, totally. Yeah. My my wife, she doesn't really enjoy that much stand up comedy. And, um, I feel like sometimes she doesn't really give it the time of day because she thinks that it might go over her head and then that might like that, that causes concern for her. But when she actually, when I actually force her to go to somewhere and she is present, she's laughing a lot because, yeah, she's like, oh, okay. Yeah, no, I do, I do get it all. But it, it can be something that people aren't so interested in. Of course.

Stu:
Yeah, 100%. Yeah. And it changes how old you are as well. I might just lastly my my mum. It's interesting that what you've just said there because my mum also depending on who's the comedian, the words that they use, whether it's we're kind of looping back to the start. But if they use if they're swearing too much, it takes her out of the joke. She knows the joke because of the language they've used. Or and another thing, maybe this also might affect your wife and it affects many people, but depending on the subject matter, that can also affect whether you enjoy the joke. Full stop. So yes, this is the challenging thing. I think for many people with humour in general, it's not just a language thing, it's also what does it mean to me?

Charlie:
So yeah, I don't know if you agree with this, but there's a very well known comedian that I know, you know, but to the listeners. Ricky Gervais, and he's kind of taking it upon himself to sort of lecture through his stand up and try to educate people to not be sensitive to certain topics, because if you find something else funny, somebody else could find that rude, but then you're cherry picking yourself, so you should come at humour as completely detached from everything and just see it as it is a joke and that's that. But I think there's a movement of followers who, like Gervais, work through the office, and then as he's focussed more on other things, that's kind of questionable for some people. But I still feel like a lot of people, my generation, really respect that kind of opinion, and that has kind of trickled down towards trying to be sort of unbiased, towards the kind of jokes that people are telling, I.

Stu:
Really agree with it, to be honest with you, because it's all about the context, and the context is you're going to watch someone who makes jokes and a joke inherently makes in most jokes, there's a fall guy and a winner. There's a there's a good and a bad side, you know, and and you if you say that you can't joke about one area, then you can't joke about anything, really. Because like you said, someone will always be offended. And what he said, he said a great thing. Like he said, he does kind of do a lecture as well in the shows. And he said, look, if I can't do I joke about everyone equally. Yeah, you know, so it's not like he's but but the newspapers or something will pick out the one thing he said about a specific group who, who maybe are in a, in a weaker situation at that moment in time. But they'll hand pick that one thing he said, and then make it into a thing that's way bigger than it is. But you have to understand the context of everything. The context is the king at the end of the day.

Charlie:
Totally. And on that note, in a sort of day to day interaction with British people, I would say it is useful to always just assume that they're joking if if they're trying for some sort of reaction of some sort.

Stu:
I think tone, facial expressions, the key things, you know, you could tell everything from someone's face. You just ignore the words sometimes and just look at the person's expression. And one thing, that one small thing that many people don't realise about. I don't know if it's just English, but definitely in the UK, actually eye contact is fine. So in Japan eye contact is not seen as good. So yeah. Yeah. So there's two things that people just because there are two different cultures, you can already have a bad side to things if you just looking at someone, which is crazy really. But you know, there could be because of that cultural difference. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, just look at the person and see what their face is like. Because generally when someone said something that sounds mean, if you look at their face, you can tell it's not meant in a hurtful way. So the context of everything is so key. The intonation especially and the and the, the, the facial expressions or body language is really important.

Charlie:
Yes. I've just thought of a really good example of that came out of the cinema last week in South London. We were a bit lost and worried that our car was going to be locked into the car park. Past a certain time. We rushed around to the um, to the front of the entrance bit, and there was a guard there that looked like he was protecting us or not allowing people into the shopping mall anymore. And we said to him, oh, I'm really sorry. Like, can we get to our car because we're worried that we can't get out past 10:00? And he just looks at us very slowly and sort of, um, drily with no expression on his face, says.

Stu:
I know what's coming.

Charlie:
Oscar says, um, sorry, no, you can't come in here and like, oh, well, oh no. But like, if we, we just stayed in eye contact for a little longer. And then his face broke and he's like, yeah, of course you can kind of thing. And if, if I was in Spain or somewhere else that I was trying to learn the language, I would be thrown by that completely. Yeah. I'd be like, oh no. And it would completely go over my head 100%.

Stu:
But the beauty is we we are in a lucky, a really privileged position because we understand we're studying about language. You know, we're looking at language and how it's used and trying to help people with it so we can see these problems. But the average person doesn't get it. They don't know about other cultures and they cannot see through the eyes of a language learner, to be honest. So you have to give a little. We can't always think that there's a negative side to every person that they meet. We meet, you know, there must be a reason. There's always a reason why people do stuff. And then when you think about the reason, and then you get the context, and then you're there for a little. Bit longer and not being offended immediately. Then you can see the end. Product like you did in your situation. Yeah.

Charlie:
That's really nice. Really nice. Yeah. Because he's bored. He's just wanting to get some fun out of his job.

Stu:
That's it. At the end of the day, if he can smile or keep him going for an extra couple. Of hours, you know? So that's it? Yeah.

Charlie:
Really nice job. Thank you. So everyone. If you haven't already, uh, Stu does his own stuff on his Instagram is very big. Very popular. Stu sensei English. Are you on YouTube as well?

Stu:
Yeah, but that one's called Britishpronunciation.Com is my, um, YouTube British pronunciation.

Charlie:
Com and anything else that they should know about TikTok or anything like that.

Stu:
Yeah, I have a TikTok as well, but, you know, it's all the same stuff, to be honest. So just, um, the only thing is just enjoy learning language. That's it. You find as many teachers as you can that you enjoy and you enjoy the message from. It doesn't matter who it is, but just enjoy it. You know, it shouldn't be a stressful thing.

Charlie:
Yeah, fantastic. Appreciate it. Thank you very much for your time, Stu I appreciate it.

Stu:
No worries. Thank you buddy I really appreciate it.

Charlie:
Cool. All right. All the best guys and well done for listening to the end of this conversation. See you next time on the British English Podcast. Bye bye. There we go. The end of part three. Meaning the end of the episode. Well done for getting through the entirety of it. Make sure you use all of the resources available to you in your membership. Thanks once again for supporting the show and I look forward to seeing you next time on the British English Podcast.