Bonus Ep 62 - A Heartfelt Chat: Charlie and Mum Reminisce
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Transcript of Premium Bonus 062- Transcript
Charlie:
Hello and welcome to the British English Podcast with me, your host Charlie Baxter. And today's episode, like many, is all about culture, specifically British culture. And of course, we will be finding plenty of British English phrases along the way. Um, the cultural aspect I thought of today would be to dive into the relationship between a British mother and a British son, and I was thinking, who? Who am I most interested in? And then it dawned on me, I'm most interested in me and of course, my mother. So I invite you to take a listen to a conversation between me and my mum or my mummy. Mummy? Hello, mummy. How are you?
Charlie's Mum:
Hello, Charlie. I'm fine, thank you.
Charlie:
So, first things first. The word mummy. Americans with that pronunciation think of a scary mummified Egyptian because their pronunciation is mom or mommy. And mummy is a different sound to them. So they think of an Egyptian mummy. And have you noticed my roundabout way? Oh, so I should say. Also, it's quite sad for a 30 something year old person. Well, a teenager finds it very embarrassing to call them, their mum, mummy. Mum is the cool version of mummy and I was always made to look like a geek, a mummy's boy. That's literally it, isn't it? A mummy's boy. And you forced that on me the whole way through my childhood and my adulthood. But now I embrace it a bit more, although I still find it weird. Why did you want that? Why did you want me to call you mummy?
Charlie's Mum:
I always called my mummy mummy.
Charlie:
Right.
Charlie's Mum:
And I couldn't have said mum. It didn't sound right. So it's just not right.
Charlie:
It's just not right. So all of the Mother's Day cards, they all say Happy Mother's Day Mum, or Dear Mum in the bit.
Charlie's Mum:
I don't like those ones.
Charlie:
Yeah you rip them up don't you? You put them in the shredder! Say try again!
Charlie's Mum:
You need to write an extra couple of letters.
Charlie:
Yes. Oh yes, that's true. I could have done that.
Charlie's Mum:
Oh, revelation time. But you still can.
Charlie:
Yeah. Anyway, um, how are you today? Are you doing okay?
Charlie's Mum:
I'm doing okay. Yep.
Charlie:
What have you been doing?
Charlie's Mum:
Um, I had a client earlier on, and then I was looking forward to seeing you today.
Charlie:
Oh, good. Yes. Thank you. So a client, what form of profession do you do? Obviously, I know, but.
Charlie's Mum:
I hope you know.
Charlie:
Be a shame, wouldn't it? Call your mum and I don't know what your job is.
Charlie's Mum:
I work as a counsellor and a play therapist.
Charlie:
A counsellor and play therapist. And play therapy. What is that?
Charlie's Mum:
Play therapy is a way of, um, helping children to express themselves. Not necessarily just through words, but through creative arts as well. But this was a teenager, so it was more talking therapy.
Charlie:
This session right now. But play therapy. Yeah. And you use what kind of play? What kind of ways do they use play?
Charlie's Mum:
It depends on the age. Um, but I have a play room with lots of different forms of play. I have sand trays with lots and lots of different miniatures, and they can create their own little worlds in the sand. I have puppets, I have music, musical instruments, I have art, I have board games, stories, all sorts of things.
Charlie:
And you did a masters? Sand play or Sand play therapy. Now how would you say?
Charlie's Mum:
I did a masters, um, and I chose to study Sand tray, sand play.
Charlie:
Sand play. Okay. And so that is a sand pit like a metre wide.
Charlie's Mum:
Yes. It's like a tray and it's painted blue on the bottom.
Charlie:
Okay. To represent water?
Charlie's Mum:
Water.
Charlie:
Yes. When you dig.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah. When you pull the sand back, you can see the water and you can create rivers or.
Charlie:
And that you give to children and then they display their emotions through.
Charlie's Mum:
They can choose miniatures from the shelves, um, which they're attracted to or they're scared of or repelled by. And then it's the way that they relate to those in the sand tray. They can make up stories, and it can involve scary things or other things that they like, and they can respond to it as they want to.
Charlie:
Mhm. Because as I've started to appreciate as an uncle that children have all the emotions, but they just don't know how to, um, voice it. They don't have the vocabulary or the awareness of what vocabulary goes with that emotion.
Charlie's Mum:
That's right.
Charlie:
So it's silly for an adult to speak to a child in the way that I would assume I could speak to an adult with, like, okay, just tell me how you're feeling. And then that's embarrassing for them because they don't know how they are feeling or they don't know what to say to represent their feeling.
Charlie's Mum:
That's right. When they're overwhelmed with emotion, they can't access their thoughts.
Charlie:
Right.
Charlie's Mum:
So they they can't find the words, even if they could normally find the words, they can't when they're in that state and they often remove themselves.
Charlie:
Remove themselves, meaning.
Charlie's Mum:
Like they storm off. You may have noticed with your nephews that if things are getting too much, they'll take themselves off?
Charlie:
Right. Okay, well, I just went swimming with them and it was a lot of fun. Um, but I did take one of them off to do a wee, and we were in the, um, toilet, and he had done it, but he didn't want to flush the toilet. I said, oh flush the toilet. And he said, YOU flush the toilet. And I said, I don't want to get this wrong, Barney or Toby. I'm so sorry. I can't remember which one it was. Anyway, one of the two. We had a stand off for about three minutes, I'd say of of saying me rationally, trying to explain why he should be the one to flush it rather than me. And I think if I was a parent, I'd be wise to what battles you should try to win and what not to win. I should have probably just flushed it, but being a fresh uncle, I was determined to win the battle. But, um.
Charlie's Mum:
You'll learn.
Charlie:
Yeah, I will learn. Maybe. Yeah. Anyway. So. Okay, so you had a client today, and, um, your husband, my father. Nigel. Um, was he doing much today?
Charlie's Mum:
He was sitting on the sofa.
Charlie:
He was sitting on the sofa. Yes.
Charlie's Mum:
And then he did go down to the village.
Charlie:
Okay. Walk?
Charlie's Mum:
No, in the car.
Charlie:
In the car. Yeah. Okay, cool. Alright, so we're here to talk about, um, your mothering of a little child. And then, I guess, as I grew up, um, I sent you some questions, and you had a little look at them, but we can go through them and you can respond, and we can pass through any that don't really tickle your fancy, to tickle your fancy, to to like something. Yeah. Um, so the first one, the first part of these questions is called childhood shenanigans. Shenanigans. How would you describe that?
Charlie's Mum:
Goings on?
Charlie:
Goings on. Yeah. Shenanigans. Shenanigans. Um, so the first question is, did I cry a lot when I was a baby, and were there any particular reasons or funny stories behind the tears? Was I an annoying baby?
Charlie's Mum:
You were a lovely baby. Of course you were.
Charlie:
Oh, really?
Charlie's Mum:
Yes.
Charlie:
Was I?
Charlie's Mum:
Yes. But you did cry, especially in the car when the car stopped, so I couldn't stop at traffic lights.
Charlie:
Did you ever get a ticket?
Charlie's Mum:
No. I went very fast.
Charlie:
You couldn't stop for the police either. I'd cry.
Charlie's Mum:
No, I would have to stop. But it was not very nice stopping. And also a hernia as a little baby. Which meant that your umbilical. Uh. Where?
Charlie:
Umbilical. I would say umbilical. What do you say?
Charlie's Mum:
Umbilical. Umbilical. Umbilical.
Charlie:
I've never heard that other one.
Charlie's Mum:
No, I don't think that's right.
Charlie:
And that's fine. Okay. So I would say umbilical.
Charlie's Mum:
But you didn't have it anyway because it had gone.
Charlie:
Didn't have it. Yeah. My cordless tummy.
Charlie's Mum:
Your tummy button.
Charlie:
Tummy button. That's a good way of saying it.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah. It wasn't completely closed. And so if you cried, your... It would protrude.
Charlie:
It would protrude. Oh that's gross.
Charlie's Mum:
So I didn't like you crying very much. So I didn't like stopping at traffic lights.
Charlie:
So the whole time I was a baby, my belly button would pop out whenever I cried.
Charlie's Mum:
Well, from a few months old. Yeah. And then you had it operated on when you were 11 months.
Charlie:
So from the age of three months to 11 months, I had this popping out belly button.
Charlie's Mum:
Only when you screamed.
Charlie:
And I screamed every red light.
Charlie's Mum:
We had to take the back route.
Charlie:
Oh that's gross. Did you get? Did you get grossed out by it?
Charlie's Mum:
No. I just hoped it was going to close up by itself and it didn't.
Charlie:
Oh, gosh. Okay. Um, so yeah, I cried a lot.
Charlie's Mum:
So you cried a lot. Only when movement stopped. You like to be moved around.
Charlie:
Yeah. Did I hear you say that I used to always like to be held?
Charlie's Mum:
Yes.
Charlie:
Like if you put me down, then I would start crying as well.
Charlie's Mum:
Probably, yes. But you did have lots of people that carried you around and held you because you had two little sisters.
Charlie:
Two older sisters that were still little.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah, a five year old and a three year old. And they liked holding you.
Charlie:
Yeah. Five year old sister. That's probably quite useful.
Charlie's Mum:
It was. Ish.
Charlie:
Oh, no?
Charlie's Mum:
She couldn't carry you around, but she could sit with you.
Charlie:
Yeah, yeah, I suppose Izzy, my niece, your grandchild is that age right now, isn't she?
Charlie's Mum:
She's six.
Charlie:
She's six yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
Six and a half.
Charlie:
Oh, six and a half. Right. Time flies when you're an uncle. Um, okay. The next question was, what was the silliest thing I ever got upset about as a kid?
Charlie's Mum:
I remember you coming back from nursery school being very upset.
Charlie:
Oh, yes. Friday. Friday nursery. I hated Friday nursery.
Charlie's Mum:
Oh I wasn't thinking of that. I was thinking of first steps.
Charlie:
First steps. So that was that was the. Okay. Yes. You're gonna. Yeah. Okay.
Charlie's Mum:
Ross had bigger trainers than you.
Charlie:
He didn't just have bigger trainers.
Charlie's Mum:
He also had bigger feet than you. But his father was a policeman.
Charlie:
What does that mean?
Charlie's Mum:
Policemen are supposed to have big feet for walking the beat.
Charlie:
Oh, for walking the beat. I mean, I understand that, but we've got to get with the times. Imagine that. Imagine somebody like myself wanting to go into the police force, and I pass all the criteria, and then they look down at my feet, say, sorry, son.
Charlie's Mum:
You'd have to have clown shoes.
Charlie:
Yeah. Oh, I suppose that would work, wouldn't it? Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
Unless you trip over them.
Charlie:
Yeah, that wouldn't be good. Uh, no. So a Friday nursery.
Charlie's Mum:
Friday nursery you didn't like. That was when I was doing my counselling training.
Charlie:
Yes I remember that.
Charlie's Mum:
And it was one day a week. And you didn't like it. You enjoyed it when I picked you up, you said you'd had a good time.
Charlie:
Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
But every time we got closer to Friday, 'I don't want to go to nursery. I don't like it.'
Charlie:
Yeah, that must have been fun.
Charlie's Mum:
And I even tried recording you saying you'd had a good time to replay it to you.
Charlie:
I think I remember that. Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
But still. No.
Charlie:
No? What kind of technology were you using to record my voice then?
Charlie's Mum:
A tape recorder.
Charlie:
A tape recorder. Okay.
Charlie's Mum:
Didn't have a phone.
Charlie:
Um, no. No. Well, you had a home phone.
Charlie's Mum:
Yes. Anchored to the spot.
Charlie:
Yes. But a huge cable?
Charlie's Mum:
Yes.
Charlie:
A curly.
Charlie's Mum:
Uh, yeah.
Charlie:
What would you call it?
Charlie's Mum:
Cord.
Charlie:
Cord. But it was coiled.
Charlie's Mum:
Yep. So that you could stretch it.
Charlie:
Yeah, yeah. I remember speaking to my first girlfriend on that for hours. Yeah. Oh. Is that inappropriate for you? We're not there yet. We're only a kid. Okay, so, um, I got upset when I went to nursery. Yes, I did, I didn't enjoy the idea of it, but when I was there, I did enjoy it. Um, can you remember any funny or odd habits I had as a child? Not now.
Charlie's Mum:
Um, you used to like your bottle.
Charlie:
Oh. Do you remember when I was. What age was I when I came to you and I said, I have a real no, I had a revelation, didn't I? I realised why I'm not happy in life.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah, because something was missing.
Charlie:
Something was missing. And what was that?
Charlie's Mum:
And you worked out that it was your bottle.
Charlie:
My my milk bottle.
Charlie's Mum:
Well, you used to have milk, and then you progressed onto water, and then you only gave up your water bottle around Christmas time.
Charlie:
Right.
Charlie's Mum:
Because you wanted big boy toys.
Charlie:
What did you bribe me? You said if you want big boy toys?
Charlie's Mum:
I said Father Christmas is going to get confused if there's a bottle.
Charlie:
Oh, you got me. Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
Because you were about four at the time.
Charlie:
That's normal age, guys. Uh, what is the normal age to give up a bottle in the UK, do you think?
Charlie's Mum:
Probably 2 or 3.
Charlie:
2 or 3! Were you worried?
Charlie's Mum:
No.
Charlie:
No? No, but, um, I had cow's milk. I wasn't having your milk at the age of 3 or 4.
Charlie's Mum:
No.
Charlie:
No, but some cultures, they they go on and on.
Charlie's Mum:
They do.
Charlie:
Yeah. So typically when do people breastfeed until in the UK? I mean it varies.
Charlie's Mum:
It varies. But ideally you breastfeed for a year or so.
Charlie:
Oh okay. I thought you were going to say six months.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah. You only breastfed for six months.
Charlie:
6 to 12 months let's say. Okay. Between that um, and then people and then babies go on to formula.
Charlie's Mum:
Or cow's milk.
Charlie:
Or straight to cow's milk?
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah. They used to say you could have cow's milk from six months and then they've changed it. Now it's later.
Charlie:
Oh. Moo. Yeah. Okay. Right, right, right. Um, so I had a bottle and I missed that dearly when you took it away from me, and I. I realised when I was a teenager.
Charlie's Mum:
I think a bit younger than a teenager.
Charlie:
I was. I'm pretty sure I was trying to be funny.
Charlie's Mum:
I don't think you were.
Charlie:
Haha. I think I remember knowing this is ridiculous, so I wasn't expecting you to get me a bloody bottle.
Charlie's Mum:
No, I wasn't going to get you one either.
Charlie:
Because I wanted big boy toys. Um, okay. Do you also remember, uh, this was when I was. Maybe. I remember I was playing squash at the time. You you picked me out and. No, pulled me up on it. You pulled me up on it. This habit of, um, doing a weird facial expression that we call gurning and gurning is often related to people who have are intoxicated with various narcotics, where it means moving the jaw from side to side. And I did that as a kid.
Charlie's Mum:
You did it for a little while. Yes.
Charlie:
Yeah, just for a little bit. But it was quite strange. And I remember you watched me playing squash and-.
Charlie's Mum:
It was your concentration.
Charlie:
Yeah. I was like *makes sound*. You're like, why are you doing that, darling? And I think I just felt like it was satisfying.
Charlie's Mum:
And I wonder if you did it to direct the ball.
Charlie:
That's going left. That's right. And then down the middle would just be normal. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Uh, what's the most amusing mess I have ever gotten myself into, literally or figuratively? This is the last question for Childhood Shenanigans part one, which is actually quite good because we're at the 20 minute mark. Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
Um, it wasn't really amusing, but you were having fun on the trampoline.
Charlie:
Oh.
Charlie's Mum:
And we didn't have cushions around it. And fortunately I was out in the garden and you were trying to do somersaults and things, and suddenly I looked over there. I think I must have heard a strange noise, and I went over, and you'd got your head down the side of the trampoline, and your legs had flipped over and you were immobilised, held by your neck.
Charlie:
What was what was trapped? I know, but I want you to tell me.
Charlie's Mum:
Well, I think it was. Your head was facing out and your legs were facing. Had gone. Flipped over the top.
Charlie:
Yes, I was, I was like, bent over kind of. Yeah, but what what was stopping me from getting out?
Charlie's Mum:
Well, your head was trapped.
Charlie:
My head was trapped. Trapped. But the springs I remember this. The springs-.
Charlie's Mum:
Of course.
Charlie:
Got caught on my air. My air. That reminds me of when you said to me, Charlie, did you know? Get no. Guess how Americans pronounce erb. We say herbs or herb. They say erb without the H with the, you know, herbs and spices. So I just mispronounced hair. Yes. A voiced sound. Hair. Um, yeah. My hair got caught.
Charlie's Mum:
Caught in the springs.
Charlie:
In the springs. Yeah. Why were there no, um, covers?
Charlie's Mum:
Because we couldn't find any that would fit. I had some, but they all got waterlogged.
Charlie:
Oh.
Charlie's Mum:
And then couldn't find any replacement ones. So you weren't supposed to go on it unless I was with you.
Charlie:
Oh, I see. Waterlogged. Water damage, damaged by water. Water? Can you say waterlogged? I always think of like floor.
Charlie's Mum:
The water had got seeped in through the stitching of the cushions and they were all heavy.
Charlie:
Right. Yeah. Okay. Waterlogged. Yeah. Um, uh, by the way, I'm never, like, accusing. I'm just learning. Like.
Charlie's Mum:
You're my son.
Charlie:
Yes, exactly. Yes. I always bow down to you. And that's a big bow. My mother is five foot two, and I thought it was that reason why I wasn't very. I always felt like a skinny little boy. Um, and I thought, I'm just a small person because I have a from a small family. Um, but my dad's six foot four, so the average should have been fairly tall.
Charlie's Mum:
I was a bit worried, though, that I would get two very tall daughters and one tiny son.
Charlie:
Oh. Oh, right.
Charlie's Mum:
But I didn't.
Charlie:
You didn't? No. Okay. But yeah. Then I realised recently that the portion sizes was something to do with it, because I came home after years of being living abroad and then as an adult came back and you served me up some food, and I think you had served me up a portion size that was the average size when I was a child. And it was tiny! Absolutely tiny. So you starved me as a as a child without my knowledge.
Charlie's Mum:
You actually didn't have that big an appetite then because you were little.
Charlie:
I was little, but I think it's all about training the the child into what they can consume.
Charlie's Mum:
I didn't encourage you to overeat.
Charlie:
Well, certainly not. And you have a thing where you always leave one pea or like one little tiny piece.
Charlie's Mum:
If I'm full, I'll leave a little bit.
Charlie:
Yeah. That's really good because you listen to your stomach. But as children, we used to rip the hell out of you for that, didn't we? Or not rip you? But we would just like, really get annoyed by it.
Charlie's Mum:
Or make fun of me.
Charlie:
Or make fun of you. Yeah, well, that's. Yeah. Rip. Yeah. Um. Did you did you get annoyed by that?
Charlie's Mum:
No.
Charlie:
No, no. Like, uh, like water off a duck's back?
Charlie's Mum:
Absolutely.
Charlie:
Yeah. Quack, quack. Um, okay, so the trampoline.
Charlie's Mum:
Um, other things that you did have a tendency to find a way of getting head injuries as a child.
Charlie:
Yes, yes, I did.
Charlie's Mum:
Several situations. Once was after a party we'd... Everybody had just gone home for I can't remember whether it was Laura or Holly's party. And we had the drinks cabinet open, and you ran through the sitting room and smashed your head into it.
Charlie:
And I'm looking at the very piece of furniture still.
Charlie's Mum:
I keep it closed when you come round now.
Charlie:
And not for my alcoholic addictions, alcohol addiction. Um, it's remarkable how long furniture lasts and how long your generation keeps furniture.
Charlie's Mum:
If it's. If it ain't broke, we don't fix it.
Charlie:
Very good. Yeah. Uh, I guess that's to do with the whole commercial thing nowadays, but, yeah, that seems like it hasn't really aged that mantelpiece.
Charlie's Mum:
You've changed more than that.
Charlie:
I hope so. Otherwise, I'd be a bloody boring person. Um, I haven't moved much. Just. It's just moved down the road, isn't it?
Charlie's Mum:
That's right. We moved down the road and we carried the climbing frame with us.
Charlie:
Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
Oh. Do you remember the removal van?
Charlie:
Yes. The door swung open and crashed into our car. Our parked car.
Charlie's Mum:
We were. Yes, we were going down the road from here and we realised that the door was not closed properly. We were trying to call the drivers, but they couldn't hear us and we were all worried that it was going to swing and bang, bang, bang. The car's all the way down the road, but fortunately it missed all the cars in the road and it only swung open when we stopped at our old house. And that's when it coincided with our blue car.
Charlie:
Yeah, a Vauxhall.
Charlie's Mum:
Cavalier.
Charlie:
Cavalier. Yes, yes, I remember that banger. Was it a banger then?
Charlie's Mum:
No.
Charlie:
Was it a nice car then?
Charlie's Mum:
We had it when it was 18 months old.
Charlie:
No!
Charlie's Mum:
It was one of daddy's ex-company cars.
Charlie:
He was a teacher. How did he get a company car?
Charlie's Mum:
Not your...
Charlie:
Oh, your daddy.
Charlie's Mum:
My daddy.
Charlie:
Ah.
Charlie's Mum:
NSS.
Charlie:
NSS, that's a newsagents that he was part of. NSS. Is that still around?
Charlie's Mum:
I think so.
Charlie:
You probably didn't hear that guys, but we heard a very audible yawn from the room next door. And that was my father. Um, does he often do that?
Charlie's Mum:
He has been known.
Charlie:
Um, he retired within the last six, six years now. Six years. Have you gotten used to life with your husband retired? Because you work from home?
Charlie's Mum:
I do.
Charlie:
And I relate to this now because my partner, she just started a job. You probably know my partner, right?
Charlie's Mum:
I have met her.
Charlie:
Um.
Charlie's Mum:
She's my daughter in law.
Charlie:
Yes. She is. Um. You married us.
Charlie's Mum:
I did.
Charlie:
Yeah, that was so nice. Um, she's just started, uh, her new her own company, and she's now working from home with me as well, so we're now both under the same roof, pretty much 24/7, which is.
Charlie's Mum:
Whereas you used to have the place to yourself, didn't you?
Charlie:
Yeah, yeah. Um, and that's similar to you.
Charlie's Mum:
Although daddy does go out to play golf.
Charlie:
I love how that was a dig within a dig. Almost. Yeah, but don't you want him to go out to have a bit of space?
Charlie's Mum:
Yes. I'm very happy for him to go out.
Charlie:
But I remember you used to get annoyed that he would go and play golf, but you do get annoyed, so you get annoyed that he leaves. But you are happy that he leaves. He can't win, can he?
Charlie's Mum:
He can't win. No.
Charlie:
Would you like it if he did more like grandfather duties AND did golf?
Charlie's Mum:
Yes.
Charlie:
Yes.
Charlie's Mum:
He tends to disappear when the grandchildren come round.
Charlie:
I think I might be the same. I was quite proud of myself to go swimming today.
Charlie's Mum:
Mm impressive.
Charlie:
But that was fun. Yeah, yeah, with the, um, nephews and niece. Not just me swimming on my own. Um, okay. Shall we go on to part two now?
Charlie's Mum:
Yes.
Charlie:
Family traditions and quirks. So what's a family tradition we have that always makes us laugh? It's not really a tradition, but I always remember my father, your husband, um, always mishearing words.
Charlie's Mum:
He still does. In fact, he mishears more now.
Charlie:
Oh really. But does he do it in a comical way where he references something very confidently that was not the thing that he should have heard?
Charlie's Mum:
No, not like the slippers.
Charlie:
Yes. So we were going on holiday. We were. It's not even funny to other people. But we were on we were in the airport and we were all talking about what we brought. We were quite young. Unexcusable inexcusable for you. You're an adult. But we were sharing what was in our suitcase. What? God, what a dead chat. But, um, we all said, have we got our..? Have you got your slippers? Have you got your slippers? Yes, yes, yes. And he says, what flippers? Yes. I brought my flippers. Or. Had he, no, he forgot his flippers.
Charlie's Mum:
No, he'd forgotten his driving license.
Charlie:
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that was a drama in itself. But, um, yes, he would always mishear words, normal words, and create a very random word out of it.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah.
Charlie:
Um, any other traditions? I mean, there's quite a lot of food traditions.
Charlie's Mum:
Birthdays were always a tradition. And you always looked forward to your birthdays.
Charlie:
Yes.
Charlie's Mum:
And I remember one birthday where you were very, very excited because you were going to get some drums, a drum kit.
Charlie:
A drum kit.
Charlie's Mum:
And your birthday was on Monday, and this was Sunday, the day before your birthday. And for some reason you managed to persuade me.
Charlie:
I was very manipulative with that, wasn't I?
Charlie's Mum:
You were. You said it would be a good idea if you spent the time today setting up your drums, because you would have to go to school tomorrow and you wouldn't have that much time to play with your drums. And I don't know why I agreed, but I did. And then you set them all up and you enjoyed that. But the next day you came to me and you said you were feeling really sad and disappointed because there was nothing exciting.
Charlie:
And this was the most expensive birthday present I had ever received.
Charlie's Mum:
And that you will ever receive.
Charlie:
Hahaha. It's a good learning though, to realise that it's not about the the expense or the size of the present. It's about building up the excitement of that day.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah.
Charlie:
I mean that was an amazing present and I used them for years.
Charlie's Mum:
And that was the thing. Normally you had lots of presents, but they were smaller presents. So you had one big present.
Charlie:
Oh yes, that's true. So I had nothing to open. And so I was a very, very spoilt child that was very sad.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah.
Charlie:
Oh, I've got nothing to open on my birthday. And also I was a beginner at drums, so it actually wasn't that fun. Like, oh, exciting drums, but de-dung-dung tss! You can't really.
Charlie's Mum:
Yes. You didn't play that well.
Charlie:
No.
Charlie:
We have come to the end of part one, so feel free to take a break from your listening practice, but if you're happy to keep going, then we're now moving on to part two of this episode. Thanks so much for being a premium or Academy member and enjoy the rest of the show.
Charlie's Mum:
I didn't say anything because I wanted to encourage you.
Charlie:
Yes. Of course. Um. Is, are you talking about. I won't I won't let my ego get involved, but are you talking about the whole way through my drumming career?
Charlie's Mum:
No, just on the birthday.
Charlie:
On the birthday.
Charlie's Mum:
You did get very good at the drums.
Charlie:
Oh very good!
Charlie's Mum:
Yes.
Charlie:
Oh okay. Thank you. Feel better now. Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
That's why I was sad when you sold them.
Charlie:
Yeah, I just didn't use them enough, though. And I'm actually not very good. I mean, as my son, I can... As my son? As my as as your son, I can see why you would think that I had gotten very good. But in comparison to proper drummers, I was quite amateur. But you just.
Charlie's Mum:
Don't tell me that.
Charlie:
No, no, don't tell you that. Yeah. Um. And. Yeah. So birthdays.
Charlie's Mum:
You also got very excited when you got a new pair of shoes or trainers.
Charlie:
Oh yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
And you would have them next to you at bedtime.
Charlie:
Ha. Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
So that you could look at them.
Charlie:
Yeah. That's very sweet.
Charlie's Mum:
Very sweet.
Charlie:
That's I think that's very mindful.
Charlie's Mum:
Yes. You were very appreciative.
Charlie:
A very appreciative. Grateful.
Charlie's Mum:
Yes.
Charlie:
Yeah. I, uh.
Charlie's Mum:
Of your small trainers.
Charlie:
Of my.
Charlie's Mum:
They weren't cheaper though.
Charlie:
No. How annoying. Well, no, it was cheaper for a few years because I was still in child size whilst.
Charlie's Mum:
Have you gone out of them?
Charlie:
Very good. Yes. Size eight.
Charlie's Mum:
You've got your small feet from me anyway.
Charlie:
Yeah I do. Yeah, it's probably because you rationed me.
Charlie's Mum:
And my father.
Charlie:
And your father, and that was actually useful. I mean, not when he died.
Charlie's Mum:
Because you stepped into a dead man's shoes.
Charlie:
But he had some really nice shoes, and I got married in a pair of his shoes.
Charlie's Mum:
You did.
Charlie:
They were really. They are really nice shoes. Yeah. Thank you, Granddaddy. Again!
Charlie's Mum:
Daddy.
Charlie:
Daddy! Granddaddy. Gosh. Grandmummy? Did I call her?
Charlie's Mum:
No, Mama.
Charlie:
I called her mama. Yeah. What was that from?
Charlie's Mum:
From my grandmother called Mama and Papa.
Charlie:
Mama and Papa. And then mine were Mama and Granddaddy. This is all very middle class language. Like, it really shouldn't. I mean, most of my friends and family would be like, what the hell? Why are you calling them Grandmummy? It would be Grandma and Grandad.
Charlie's Mum:
It wasn't Grandmummy.
Charlie:
No sorry. Yes.
Charlie's Mum:
It was Grandaddy. Yeah, and now I'm Mama E and Grandpa.
Charlie:
Mama E is more of just like a nickname, I'd say.
Charlie's Mum:
Well, it's because I couldn't be called Mama because that's the same as my mother.
Charlie:
Yes.
Charlie's Mum:
And E is for what I was called when I was little. Elizabeth.
Charlie:
Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
Because it's a very long name.
Charlie:
Very long name. It is. Yeah. It's arrogant taking up so much time, Elizabeth.
Charlie's Mum:
Ann.
Charlie:
What do you mean?
Charlie's Mum:
My full name is Elizabeth Ann.
Charlie:
What? As in, you're a double barrelled first name?
Charlie's Mum:
Not exactly.
Charlie:
No. Your second. Your middle name is Ann?
Charlie's Mum:
Yes.
Charlie:
Yeah. Okay. I thought I was going to lose my shit. Um, traditions.
Charlie's Mum:
Cut.
Charlie:
Birth-. Traditions at birthday. Uh.
Charlie's Mum:
Chocolate cake.
Charlie:
Chocolate cake. So you learnt a recipe by one of your friends, Lynn?
Charlie's Mum:
Yes.
Charlie:
And this recipe, I think I learnt has because I made it once. It has probably your year's worth of sugar intake in one cake.
Charlie's Mum:
10.5oz.
Charlie:
10.5oz. So much sugar, so much sugar. But we have it very regularly.
Charlie's Mum:
Every birthday.
Charlie:
Every birthday. And there's a lot of birthdays in this house now. Or family. Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
You missed a lot of them.
Charlie:
Ooh!
Charlie's Mum:
By being overseas.
Charlie:
Yes.
Charlie's Mum:
For ten years.
Charlie:
Um, are you happy that I've come back?
Charlie's Mum:
Very happy.
Charlie:
How happy?
Charlie's Mum:
Out of?
Charlie:
Out of ten.
Charlie's Mum:
Ten!
Charlie:
Ten? Really?
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah.
Charlie:
Okay. Because how often do you think we see each other?
Charlie's Mum:
Once a month?
Charlie:
Yeah, yeah, once a month.
Charlie's Mum:
Average.
Charlie:
Yeah I suppose. Yeah. That is a big difference.
Charlie's Mum:
Compared to once every three years.
Charlie:
Yeah. Not three years!
Charlie's Mum:
When you were in Australia.
Charlie:
Well that was Covid. Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
And Australia.
Charlie:
Well no. We would have come back quite regularly.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah.
Charlie:
Once a year. And then you would have come out. So it would have been twice a year. Um, anyway, is there a favourite wrong word or phrase I used to say that's become a family joke?
Charlie's Mum:
Um, there was a mobile phone at a toy mobile phone that you had as children, and the expression on it was, 'how can we help you?' And you insisted that they were saying 'out the window.' We got you to listen to it umpteen times.
Charlie:
No, it wasn't, it wasn't 'how can we help you?' It was 'Operator. Operator.' Operator.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah, I understand that.
Charlie:
Well you're looking at me like you don't understand what I'm saying.
Charlie's Mum:
I can't see how that's out the window.
Charlie:
Out the window, operator.
Charlie's Mum:
Out the window.
Charlie:
Out the window.
Charlie's Mum:
How can we help you?
Charlie:
Why would it be 'how can we help you?'
Charlie's Mum:
Because you would. They were the operator.
Charlie:
They need to announce it. Oh, I see, it could be the follow up.
Charlie's Mum:
When you used to ring the operator, they would say 'how can I help you.'
Charlie:
No. Operator or operator is much more like out the window than how can we help you? How can we help you. Out the window. Operator. Out the window. This is good audio. Really good. But yeah, I was insistent and I got really angry that you were all against me. And I really thought you were doing it deliberately to spite me, to really sort of.
Charlie's Mum:
Upset you.
Charlie:
Upset me. Yeah. Um, so, yeah.
Speaker2:
And then your other little expression was when you were playing a game of 'it' or something, other children would say 'Pax' but you would say 'packed lunch.'
Charlie:
Hahaha. Why would I say packed lunch?
Charlie's Mum:
It was the only expression that sounded similar to you. And you'd heard people at school say, dinners, packed lunch.
Charlie:
This is such a thing that you find funny, but makes no sense to anyone.
Charlie's Mum:
So whenever you played it, you'd say packed lunch!
Charlie:
So there's a thing where people it's kind of like bagsy, bagsy.
Charlie's Mum:
I'm safe kind of thing.
Charlie:
Yes, yes, it's a word to indicate that you're safe.
Charlie's Mum:
You can't get me.
Charlie:
When you're playing a game and one of you is trying to be caught or something. Yeah, and you say, I know I'm safe now. I don't really get why we used to say that, but.
Charlie's Mum:
You used to take your packed lunch with you.
Charlie:
Yeah. So I used to think people were saying packed lunch.
Charlie's Mum:
Yes.
Charlie:
Packed lunch. So. Okay. Yeah, I do remember that. And my sisters, they teased me a lot about that. Um, I want to go off script for a bit, and I want you just to sort of think about the general behaviour and personality of me as a kid. What was I really like? Was I quite different, like in a weird way, or was I quite, quite normal? Was I quite well behaved? Was I really naughty?
Charlie's Mum:
You were quite. You were quite well behaved and you were very sweet when you played with your toys, you'd sit with your little cars and you would play. You loved anything with wheels or a ball. You were very sporty. You liked kicking a football from a very young age and playing cricket from a young age.
Charlie:
Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
So you liked to be out in the garden. You also had a little car that you used to like driving around called Tot One.
Charlie:
Oh Tot one. Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
And it had a little boot.
Charlie:
Yes, it did have a boot.
Charlie's Mum:
And if I had lost my keys ever, that was the first place I would look.
Charlie:
Oh, that's really annoying for you, but cute.
Charlie's Mum:
But you did very good three point turns in that little car.
Charlie:
Still do.
Charlie's Mum:
In the kitchen.
Charlie:
Still do. Got it down. Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
But you were better off on toy cars than real cars because.
Charlie:
What! I've only had one crash.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah, but you one car, you got to break down, didn't you, on the motorway.
Charlie:
Yeah. That's the car's fault. You can't blame me for the conveyor belt snapping. Although I didn't hear it because I had the music pumping.
Charlie's Mum:
Right. Okay. Yeah. And your accident was very soon after you'd passed your test, wasn't it?
Charlie:
Yeah, that was a mistake. But I learned from that.
Charlie's Mum:
Good.
Charlie:
And I feel like I'm a much more careful driver now.
Charlie's Mum:
Good.
Charlie:
Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
Because you pulled out in front of a very large articulated lorry. In front of the school.
Charlie:
Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
With all your friends in the car.
Charlie:
Yeah. Yeah, I put lives at risk. But it was all at 20 miles an hour kind of behaviour. I was going five miles an hour.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah.
Charlie:
I was going probably three miles an hour left and then five miles an hour horizontal because the lorry pile drove in. Pile drove or drive? Drove. Pile drove.
Charlie's Mum:
Um, not sure about that one.
Charlie:
To pile drive into something.
Charlie's Mum:
Just drove into you.
Charlie:
Yeah. He just drove into me.
Charlie's Mum:
And pushed you along.
Charlie:
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that wasn't great. But I've learned from it.
Charlie's Mum:
Good.
Charlie:
And I think everyone not not that everyone needs a crash, but you learn how to drive properly once you realise what impact like that could have.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah.
Charlie:
Did you ever have a crash?
Charlie's Mum:
I dented my car a bit when I was trying to park it once.
Charlie:
Oh, that's not quite the same. But never. Never a big crash?
Charlie's Mum:
I did actually bump a car when I was. I went in the ditch once with two children in the back.
Charlie:
Not me.
Charlie's Mum:
No. Before you.
Charlie:
Laura and Holly. That's why they're a bit weird. Wow.
Charlie's Mum:
Coming out near Mrs. Smee in the village.
Charlie:
Mrs. Smee. Oh, the pianist. The pianist? Yeah, the piano teacher.
Charlie's Mum:
No, no. Lived opposite Sue Reeve.
Charlie:
Oh okay.
Charlie's Mum:
I was collecting some ironing from there, and I hadn't realised they'd dug a trench and I didn't see the trench, and the car got down in it.
Charlie:
Oh.
Charlie's Mum:
Not good.
Charlie:
But again, not high impact kind of thing.
Charlie's Mum:
No.
Charlie:
Okay. I'd like to play outdoors. Quite a few things. How was I with, um, other friends? Was I a bit sensitive? I was quite sensitive.
Charlie's Mum:
Yes, you were a bit sensitive. You didn't. You were a bit embarrassed about having pet sheep.
Charlie:
Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
I remember you coming back and saying, I wish I didn't have sheep. People think it's strange that I've got pet sheep.
Charlie:
And that's because it is. It's very strange to have pet sheep.
Charlie's Mum:
But I was used to it. We had a sheep when I was little.
Charlie:
Yes, you had one, but you also had 50 other animals.
Charlie's Mum:
We had lots of animals.
Charlie:
Yeah. We were just looking through some old photos. And your mother had at least five dogs in every photo she had around her, and they were all looking at her like she was about to give her them a treat.
Charlie's Mum:
She probably was.
Charlie:
So I can imagine she had dog treats in every pocket.
Charlie's Mum:
No she didn't actually. She didn't use treats.
Charlie:
Oh.
Charlie's Mum:
No. That's why they never did was they were told.
Charlie:
But you had loads of guinea pigs, loads of rabbits.
Charlie's Mum:
Chickens.
Charlie:
Chicken. Yeah. Chickens. Doves.
Charlie's Mum:
Doves, ducks.
Charlie:
Ducks.
Charlie's Mum:
Bantams.
Charlie:
What's a bantams?
Charlie's Mum:
They're chickens. Small chickens.
Charlie:
Oh, right. And a pony.
Charlie's Mum:
Pony.
Charlie:
Yeah. Um.
Charlie's Mum:
And a sheep.
Charlie:
And a sheep. I don't remember-
Charlie's Mum:
And a goat.
Charlie:
Where did you have the sheep?
Charlie's Mum:
In the garden.
Charlie:
Oh, but like.
Charlie's Mum:
But it did. Well, daddy met it for the first time when he came home from work. He came into the sitting room.
Charlie:
Which daddy?
Charlie's Mum:
My daddy.
Charlie:
Your daddy.
Charlie's Mum:
Daddy. It was sitting on his green chair. The one you sat on. A little lamb. It was a lamb.
Charlie:
Oh, right.
Charlie's Mum:
So it's fine.
Charlie:
Do you remember when. So for the audience, why do we have sheep?
Charlie's Mum:
To eat the grass.
Charlie:
To eat the grass. And we don't have a small front garden or back garden. There's a field adjacent to our property that was technically part of this property before we bought it, because this was a chicken farm in the in the war, wasn't it?
Charlie's Mum:
It was.
Charlie:
And, um, where was I going with that? Oh, yeah. So-.
Charlie's Mum:
We rent it now.
Charlie:
There's a lot of land next to us that's not ours, but we rent it. And technically, I think the reason that we got livestock on there was to keep travellers from parking up on there, because they they did that in the village opposite us or near our village, didn't we? And we got a bit worried about that. I feel like this is why we and you promised us that we would get horses. I feel so spoilt. I hate how I sound, but we thought we were gonna get going to get horses. And then we came back and there was a field full of sheep and you said, oh yeah, we couldn't afford horses. They're far too expensive. So we got sheep instead.
Charlie's Mum:
I don't remember any of that.
Charlie:
No, that's, that's that's what happened.
Charlie's Mum:
Maybe that was in your mind.
Charlie:
No, no, no.
Charlie's Mum:
Because.
Charlie:
We talked about this quite a while, for quite a while.
Charlie's Mum:
Because there wasn't a license to have horses on that field.
Charlie:
Oh, license, schmicense. I wouldn't have known that when I was that age. But we did have a conversation about it.
Charlie's Mum:
We only got three sheep. We got one sheep and two lambs. So it wasn't a whole field of sheep.
Charlie:
Yeah, but that was just the beginning.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah. And and then we used to have lambs.
Charlie:
And, and we took the. This is so unacceptable of you. We took the sheep on walks with leads.
Charlie's Mum:
No, we tried to.
Charlie:
Yeah. We tried to.
Charlie's Mum:
It didn't work very well.
Charlie:
We did do it and people saw us doing it from the school.
Charlie's Mum:
We did take the sheep in the car to get them shorn and going down in the car, it was fine because they were had all their fleeces on and they were held together. But at the end of the road they started to make a noise and people were looking in the car. And then on the way back they were scrabbling all, all around because they didn't have their fleeces to.
Charlie:
Bounce off each other. Oh yeah. I remember one of them pooed in the car and, um, Daddy paid me £2 to get it out.
Charlie's Mum:
I didn't know that.
Charlie:
Yeah. No, actually, he I think he said, I'll give you £2 if you get it out. And I said, no.
Charlie's Mum:
That sounds like your gardening.
Charlie:
Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
I remember you wanted to earn some money, so you were going to do some gardening.
Charlie:
But you know what? This is the this is a very important start of my of now, my podcast. This is the first entrepreneurial moment of my life. And this is how it went.
Charlie's Mum:
What the gardening?
Charlie:
Yeah. This is a very good metaphor.
Charlie's Mum:
Okay. Well you started well. You got the tools out.
Charlie:
No but go back. So I put out a leaflet.
Charlie's Mum:
Oh no, no. I was just talking about you did some gardening for me.
Charlie:
No, but I think this was the beginning of me doing it.
Charlie's Mum:
Oh, I see. You were practising and that.
Charlie:
Yeah, I was getting my, um, craft down.
Charlie's Mum:
Okay. Yes.
Charlie:
We have come to the end of part two now. So again, feel free to pause the episode, to take a break from your listening practice and come back to the last part when you're ready. Alright. So moving on to part three now. Enjoy.
Charlie:
So I.
Charlie's Mum:
When I looked out.
Charlie:
Over the summer when I was at university, I came back and I wanted to do some gardening for a bit of pocket money, a bit of a job, create a leaflet that said Chuck and Reg, the Hedge Trimming Men. It was me, Chuck and Ross, Reg. And we were going to be gardening partners and I leafletted, but didn't immediately get any response. So you hired me. You said, I've got some things to do. And what, two hours in, where was I?
Charlie's Mum:
Well, I'd say it was after 20 minutes I found you lying on the trampoline. I, I couldn't.
Charlie:
I remember I was doing, I was cutting the edges of your flower bed and then oh, God, this is tiring. I'm gonna have a nap. I think I rationed, rationed rationale. My rationale, my rationale?
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah.
Charlie:
Was if I have a quick power nap, then I'll be really good in 30 minutes. And then you came mid nap. And you.
Charlie's Mum:
I wasn't impressed.
Charlie:
You weren't.
Charlie's Mum:
Prior to that you had had a paper round though in terms of your entrepreneurial.
Charlie:
Well that's not really um, that's.
Charlie's Mum:
Well it was about commitment.
Charlie:
That's about commitment and grit because I had to get up.
Charlie's Mum:
Really early.
Charlie:
Six, five or six in the morning for a whole hour and a half of physical exercise and dangerous, I'd say.
Charlie's Mum:
Yep. And you fell off your bike, didn't you.
Charlie:
Yeah! With I would say, what, 20kg, maybe, maybe more of papers on your shoulder that moved around. It would throw me off quite a lot. I was a skinny little boy because I was malnourished, underfed and, um, that was all for £3.50. I'd get £17 something if that's the right maths. At the end, on Friday. Right? Five times £3.50. Yes. Sounds about right. 15, 17.
Charlie's Mum:
£16.50?
Charlie:
£17.50. £17.50. Yeah. £17.50.
Charlie's Mum:
£16.50.
Charlie:
£17.50. Three times five.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah. 15.
Charlie:
50p times five is.
Charlie's Mum:
Three times five. Oh is it three days or five days?
Charlie:
Five days.
Charlie's Mum:
Oh okay. Yep yep £17.50.
Charlie:
Yeah yeah. I'm not mad. And, um.
Charlie's Mum:
I didn't realise you did so many days.
Charlie:
Well, five days? I did it. Yeah. Weekday. Um, we're probably going to have to come to an end soon. We've got lots more questions, but, um, uh, what was I going to say? That so I, I used to spend that money, um. On what? What would I spend it on? Can you remember?
Charlie's Mum:
So you would. You did like those Pokemon cards.
Charlie:
That was that. No.
Charlie's Mum:
You were younger I think.
Charlie:
That was. Yeah. I was 16 when I did that paper round.
Charlie's Mum:
I do remember your Pokemon cards. You would get so excited, and then you'd go and you'd buy them. And then it was like it was the end of the world when you didn't get a glossy one. Or you got one that you already had.
Charlie:
Yeah, yeah, it was very up and down that hobby of collecting.
Charlie's Mum:
In fact you were sometimes quite up and down. You got quite up and down on the tennis court.
Charlie:
Yes.
Charlie's Mum:
If your serve didn't go in.
Charlie:
Oh yeah. We had a lot of moments like that didn't we.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah.
Charlie:
We'd come away from a game. And you were quite disappointed with my, you were you, you were understanding your, patience of a saint. But I was very, very angry.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah. It wasn't the most pleasant experience.
Charlie:
No. It was a sour car ride home. I was fuming, and you were just like, this is terrible.
Charlie's Mum:
And I think occasionally on the golf course as well.
Charlie:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
Daddy said something about a golf club.
Charlie:
Yeah, I had a breakdown, a few breakdowns.
Charlie's Mum:
And you were a bit like that if you didn't have the right cereal in the morning before school.
Charlie:
Really? Well, that's the only meal that I could control the size of it. So I was like, I've got to get as much food as I possibly can in this bowl before I starve for the next 16 hours.
Charlie's Mum:
I think you've become much more thoughtful about quantity sizes since you've been with your now wife, who is much more into food than I was.
Charlie:
Oh, more aware of-.
Charlie's Mum:
Different foods.
Charlie:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
Because you did have quite a fussy sister eating wise.
Charlie:
Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
So you tended to have simple foods.
Charlie:
Yes. And I still feel quite ignorant whenever I sit down and look at a menu. You know what? I don't, it sounds really strange, but I don't know how to read a menu. Um. Oh, my father's just walked in and popped a cup of tea down for my mother. That's nice. Does he do that regularly?
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah.
Charlie:
Yeah?
Charlie's Mum:
If I'm here.
Charlie:
If you're here.
Charlie's Mum:
Well, if he's here.
Charlie:
Well it'd be weird if you weren't here. Imagine if you've passed away and years later, he still pops a tea down for you. Oh, um, what were you about to say?
Charlie's Mum:
I was just saying that it was reminding me of a holiday experience. Do you remember when we were on holiday and there was a karaoke?
Charlie:
Oh yes, I mean, there were karaokes most of the holidays.
Charlie's Mum:
I know but your father wanted to take part.
Charlie:
I just don't understand why he wants to. Because he can't sing.
Charlie's Mum:
No.
Charlie:
And he really thinks he can.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah.
Charlie:
He can't.
Charlie's Mum:
What was it? What was the song? Anyway, he signed up for it. And you and your sisters and I, we were all sitting on the steps.
Charlie:
Hiding.
Charlie's Mum:
Hiding.
Charlie:
Yeah, we were literally hiding.
Charlie's Mum:
Because it wasn't actually the right song. It was the same song, but the different layout or something.
Charlie:
He's so brave though.
Charlie's Mum:
And it just sounded awful.
Charlie:
It was so bad. I think he cleared the bar.
Charlie's Mum:
He did, but we didn't want to see anyone the next day either.
Charlie:
No. Yeah, we were that embarrassed. But again, it shows how courageous he is. He has no fear with public stuff like, yeah. Do you think he's ever gotten embarrassed in front of people?
Charlie's Mum:
I think he has. But he likes being up there.
Charlie:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't sing at all. Can you sing?
Charlie's Mum:
I certainly wouldn't, I'd sing in a group, but not on my own.
Charlie:
Do you think you can sing, though?
Charlie's Mum:
I don't know.
Charlie:
You don't know. Yeah. I wish I could sing. I think that would be a very nice thing to be able to do.
Charlie's Mum:
Learn!
Charlie:
I don't think, well you can learn. You can definitely learn. Yeah, I know you. Yeah, it's silly to say you can't learn. Um. Is there anything else? I mean, there's quite a few questions that we didn't get through, but, um, is there anything that stands out to you that you'd like to share?
Charlie's Mum:
I'm just trying to think, um.
Charlie:
So is there a favourite wrong word? Oh we've done that. What's the funniest holiday mishap? Which-
Charlie's Mum:
Well the mishap when we. Well, sometimes we would have to walk down the road looking for a restaurant, wouldn't we? Because somebody couldn't eat in that one and somebody else couldn't eat in the other one because.
Charlie:
Yeah. So as you said, I had a fussy sister. Well I was quite fussy, probably because I wasn't forced to eat the the variation of foods out there. Um, but yeah. So we would walk along.
Charlie's Mum:
Reading the menus. Well, maybe you didn't read the menus because you didn't know how to.
Charlie:
I wanted to talk about that because it sounds very strange on its own. I just look at a menu and I don't know whether to start like a book. Yeah, I just just I'm, I'm conversing. So I'm also distracted by that. And I just look at words randomly here, here, here, here. And then I don't actually read the ingredients. So then it's all about the branding like this, the sale of that dish's name. So I never really identify what the food is. And then people are like, oh what do you want? I'm like ah I don't know.
Charlie's Mum:
Ah, well you see there's a lot of things I don't like, so I don't have to read them all. As soon as I see something I don't like, I move on to the next.
Charlie:
I was going to say, you do it by a process of elimination, but no. You so you so you read the ingredients like a normal human. And-.
Charlie's Mum:
Only until I get to something I don't like.
Charlie:
Okay, would you stop? Because I think I have a problem with always wanting to try and find the best of the best thing.
Charlie's Mum:
I don't have that problem.
Charlie:
Do you? Like my coffee addiction. I've gone pretty far with that. Like I really, really want the best possible.
Charlie's Mum:
I don't expect the best.
Charlie:
And that's actually probably a way, a way to find happiness far quicker.
Charlie's Mum:
To not be disappointed.
Charlie:
Yeah. I think we might leave it on that note. Anything else? I mean, we've we've got opportunity to do more episodes because I think you're having fun in this. You were nervous at the beginning, but I think I think you've relaxed.
Charlie's Mum:
I have relaxed, yes.
Charlie:
So I think we'll be able to do more podcasts together. Yeah?
Charlie's Mum:
Maybe.
Charlie:
Maybe. Um, so yeah, we'll leave it there. But thank you very much, guys, for listening to the end of this one. Um, so yeah, that was a conversation between myself and my mother, um, hoping to help you understand the relationship between a mother and son. Um, obviously, it's so individual. It probably doesn't shed any light on being British, but I would argue we're quite a strange family with the sheep and everything, but I would argue there's some cultural reference there, because if you're from a very different culture, you would. Yeah. I mean, I don't need to spell it out for you because you already know this. But yeah, I think your upbringing would be very different and your conversations with your mother would also be, um, but there we go. Thank you very much, Mummy.
Charlie's Mum:
Thank you, Charlie.
Charlie:
Mum. No, mummy, you're my mummy. Yeah. Okay. Alright. See you next time, guys. Well done. Bye bye.
Charlie's Mum:
Bye bye!
Charlie:
There we go. The end of part three. Meaning the end of the episode. Well done for getting through the entirety of it. Make sure you use all of the resources available to you in your membership. Thanks once again for supporting the show and I look forward to seeing you next time on the British English Podcast.
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Charlie:
Hello and welcome to the British English Podcast with me, your host Charlie Baxter. And today's episode, like many, is all about culture, specifically British culture. And of course, we will be finding plenty of British English phrases along the way. Um, the cultural aspect I thought of today would be to dive into the relationship between a British mother and a British son, and I was thinking, who? Who am I most interested in? And then it dawned on me, I'm most interested in me and of course, my mother. So I invite you to take a listen to a conversation between me and my mum or my mummy. Mummy? Hello, mummy. How are you?
Charlie's Mum:
Hello, Charlie. I'm fine, thank you.
Charlie:
So, first things first. The word mummy. Americans with that pronunciation think of a scary mummified Egyptian because their pronunciation is mom or mommy. And mummy is a different sound to them. So they think of an Egyptian mummy. And have you noticed my roundabout way? Oh, so I should say. Also, it's quite sad for a 30 something year old person. Well, a teenager finds it very embarrassing to call them, their mum, mummy. Mum is the cool version of mummy and I was always made to look like a geek, a mummy's boy. That's literally it, isn't it? A mummy's boy. And you forced that on me the whole way through my childhood and my adulthood. But now I embrace it a bit more, although I still find it weird. Why did you want that? Why did you want me to call you mummy?
Charlie's Mum:
I always called my mummy mummy.
Charlie:
Right.
Charlie's Mum:
And I couldn't have said mum. It didn't sound right. So it's just not right.
Charlie:
It's just not right. So all of the Mother's Day cards, they all say Happy Mother's Day Mum, or Dear Mum in the bit.
Charlie's Mum:
I don't like those ones.
Charlie:
Yeah you rip them up don't you? You put them in the shredder! Say try again!
Charlie's Mum:
You need to write an extra couple of letters.
Charlie:
Yes. Oh yes, that's true. I could have done that.
Charlie's Mum:
Oh, revelation time. But you still can.
Charlie:
Yeah. Anyway, um, how are you today? Are you doing okay?
Charlie's Mum:
I'm doing okay. Yep.
Charlie:
What have you been doing?
Charlie's Mum:
Um, I had a client earlier on, and then I was looking forward to seeing you today.
Charlie:
Oh, good. Yes. Thank you. So a client, what form of profession do you do? Obviously, I know, but.
Charlie's Mum:
I hope you know.
Charlie:
Be a shame, wouldn't it? Call your mum and I don't know what your job is.
Charlie's Mum:
I work as a counsellor and a play therapist.
Charlie:
A counsellor and play therapist. And play therapy. What is that?
Charlie's Mum:
Play therapy is a way of, um, helping children to express themselves. Not necessarily just through words, but through creative arts as well. But this was a teenager, so it was more talking therapy.
Charlie:
This session right now. But play therapy. Yeah. And you use what kind of play? What kind of ways do they use play?
Charlie's Mum:
It depends on the age. Um, but I have a play room with lots of different forms of play. I have sand trays with lots and lots of different miniatures, and they can create their own little worlds in the sand. I have puppets, I have music, musical instruments, I have art, I have board games, stories, all sorts of things.
Charlie:
And you did a masters? Sand play or Sand play therapy. Now how would you say?
Charlie's Mum:
I did a masters, um, and I chose to study Sand tray, sand play.
Charlie:
Sand play. Okay. And so that is a sand pit like a metre wide.
Charlie's Mum:
Yes. It's like a tray and it's painted blue on the bottom.
Charlie:
Okay. To represent water?
Charlie's Mum:
Water.
Charlie:
Yes. When you dig.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah. When you pull the sand back, you can see the water and you can create rivers or.
Charlie:
And that you give to children and then they display their emotions through.
Charlie's Mum:
They can choose miniatures from the shelves, um, which they're attracted to or they're scared of or repelled by. And then it's the way that they relate to those in the sand tray. They can make up stories, and it can involve scary things or other things that they like, and they can respond to it as they want to.
Charlie:
Mhm. Because as I've started to appreciate as an uncle that children have all the emotions, but they just don't know how to, um, voice it. They don't have the vocabulary or the awareness of what vocabulary goes with that emotion.
Charlie's Mum:
That's right.
Charlie:
So it's silly for an adult to speak to a child in the way that I would assume I could speak to an adult with, like, okay, just tell me how you're feeling. And then that's embarrassing for them because they don't know how they are feeling or they don't know what to say to represent their feeling.
Charlie's Mum:
That's right. When they're overwhelmed with emotion, they can't access their thoughts.
Charlie:
Right.
Charlie's Mum:
So they they can't find the words, even if they could normally find the words, they can't when they're in that state and they often remove themselves.
Charlie:
Remove themselves, meaning.
Charlie's Mum:
Like they storm off. You may have noticed with your nephews that if things are getting too much, they'll take themselves off?
Charlie:
Right. Okay, well, I just went swimming with them and it was a lot of fun. Um, but I did take one of them off to do a wee, and we were in the, um, toilet, and he had done it, but he didn't want to flush the toilet. I said, oh flush the toilet. And he said, YOU flush the toilet. And I said, I don't want to get this wrong, Barney or Toby. I'm so sorry. I can't remember which one it was. Anyway, one of the two. We had a stand off for about three minutes, I'd say of of saying me rationally, trying to explain why he should be the one to flush it rather than me. And I think if I was a parent, I'd be wise to what battles you should try to win and what not to win. I should have probably just flushed it, but being a fresh uncle, I was determined to win the battle. But, um.
Charlie's Mum:
You'll learn.
Charlie:
Yeah, I will learn. Maybe. Yeah. Anyway. So. Okay, so you had a client today, and, um, your husband, my father. Nigel. Um, was he doing much today?
Charlie's Mum:
He was sitting on the sofa.
Charlie:
He was sitting on the sofa. Yes.
Charlie's Mum:
And then he did go down to the village.
Charlie:
Okay. Walk?
Charlie's Mum:
No, in the car.
Charlie:
In the car. Yeah. Okay, cool. Alright, so we're here to talk about, um, your mothering of a little child. And then, I guess, as I grew up, um, I sent you some questions, and you had a little look at them, but we can go through them and you can respond, and we can pass through any that don't really tickle your fancy, to tickle your fancy, to to like something. Yeah. Um, so the first one, the first part of these questions is called childhood shenanigans. Shenanigans. How would you describe that?
Charlie's Mum:
Goings on?
Charlie:
Goings on. Yeah. Shenanigans. Shenanigans. Um, so the first question is, did I cry a lot when I was a baby, and were there any particular reasons or funny stories behind the tears? Was I an annoying baby?
Charlie's Mum:
You were a lovely baby. Of course you were.
Charlie:
Oh, really?
Charlie's Mum:
Yes.
Charlie:
Was I?
Charlie's Mum:
Yes. But you did cry, especially in the car when the car stopped, so I couldn't stop at traffic lights.
Charlie:
Did you ever get a ticket?
Charlie's Mum:
No. I went very fast.
Charlie:
You couldn't stop for the police either. I'd cry.
Charlie's Mum:
No, I would have to stop. But it was not very nice stopping. And also a hernia as a little baby. Which meant that your umbilical. Uh. Where?
Charlie:
Umbilical. I would say umbilical. What do you say?
Charlie's Mum:
Umbilical. Umbilical. Umbilical.
Charlie:
I've never heard that other one.
Charlie's Mum:
No, I don't think that's right.
Charlie:
And that's fine. Okay. So I would say umbilical.
Charlie's Mum:
But you didn't have it anyway because it had gone.
Charlie:
Didn't have it. Yeah. My cordless tummy.
Charlie's Mum:
Your tummy button.
Charlie:
Tummy button. That's a good way of saying it.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah. It wasn't completely closed. And so if you cried, your... It would protrude.
Charlie:
It would protrude. Oh that's gross.
Charlie's Mum:
So I didn't like you crying very much. So I didn't like stopping at traffic lights.
Charlie:
So the whole time I was a baby, my belly button would pop out whenever I cried.
Charlie's Mum:
Well, from a few months old. Yeah. And then you had it operated on when you were 11 months.
Charlie:
So from the age of three months to 11 months, I had this popping out belly button.
Charlie's Mum:
Only when you screamed.
Charlie:
And I screamed every red light.
Charlie's Mum:
We had to take the back route.
Charlie:
Oh that's gross. Did you get? Did you get grossed out by it?
Charlie's Mum:
No. I just hoped it was going to close up by itself and it didn't.
Charlie:
Oh, gosh. Okay. Um, so yeah, I cried a lot.
Charlie's Mum:
So you cried a lot. Only when movement stopped. You like to be moved around.
Charlie:
Yeah. Did I hear you say that I used to always like to be held?
Charlie's Mum:
Yes.
Charlie:
Like if you put me down, then I would start crying as well.
Charlie's Mum:
Probably, yes. But you did have lots of people that carried you around and held you because you had two little sisters.
Charlie:
Two older sisters that were still little.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah, a five year old and a three year old. And they liked holding you.
Charlie:
Yeah. Five year old sister. That's probably quite useful.
Charlie's Mum:
It was. Ish.
Charlie:
Oh, no?
Charlie's Mum:
She couldn't carry you around, but she could sit with you.
Charlie:
Yeah, yeah, I suppose Izzy, my niece, your grandchild is that age right now, isn't she?
Charlie's Mum:
She's six.
Charlie:
She's six yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
Six and a half.
Charlie:
Oh, six and a half. Right. Time flies when you're an uncle. Um, okay. The next question was, what was the silliest thing I ever got upset about as a kid?
Charlie's Mum:
I remember you coming back from nursery school being very upset.
Charlie:
Oh, yes. Friday. Friday nursery. I hated Friday nursery.
Charlie's Mum:
Oh I wasn't thinking of that. I was thinking of first steps.
Charlie:
First steps. So that was that was the. Okay. Yes. You're gonna. Yeah. Okay.
Charlie's Mum:
Ross had bigger trainers than you.
Charlie:
He didn't just have bigger trainers.
Charlie's Mum:
He also had bigger feet than you. But his father was a policeman.
Charlie:
What does that mean?
Charlie's Mum:
Policemen are supposed to have big feet for walking the beat.
Charlie:
Oh, for walking the beat. I mean, I understand that, but we've got to get with the times. Imagine that. Imagine somebody like myself wanting to go into the police force, and I pass all the criteria, and then they look down at my feet, say, sorry, son.
Charlie's Mum:
You'd have to have clown shoes.
Charlie:
Yeah. Oh, I suppose that would work, wouldn't it? Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
Unless you trip over them.
Charlie:
Yeah, that wouldn't be good. Uh, no. So a Friday nursery.
Charlie's Mum:
Friday nursery you didn't like. That was when I was doing my counselling training.
Charlie:
Yes I remember that.
Charlie's Mum:
And it was one day a week. And you didn't like it. You enjoyed it when I picked you up, you said you'd had a good time.
Charlie:
Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
But every time we got closer to Friday, 'I don't want to go to nursery. I don't like it.'
Charlie:
Yeah, that must have been fun.
Charlie's Mum:
And I even tried recording you saying you'd had a good time to replay it to you.
Charlie:
I think I remember that. Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
But still. No.
Charlie:
No? What kind of technology were you using to record my voice then?
Charlie's Mum:
A tape recorder.
Charlie:
A tape recorder. Okay.
Charlie's Mum:
Didn't have a phone.
Charlie:
Um, no. No. Well, you had a home phone.
Charlie's Mum:
Yes. Anchored to the spot.
Charlie:
Yes. But a huge cable?
Charlie's Mum:
Yes.
Charlie:
A curly.
Charlie's Mum:
Uh, yeah.
Charlie:
What would you call it?
Charlie's Mum:
Cord.
Charlie:
Cord. But it was coiled.
Charlie's Mum:
Yep. So that you could stretch it.
Charlie:
Yeah, yeah. I remember speaking to my first girlfriend on that for hours. Yeah. Oh. Is that inappropriate for you? We're not there yet. We're only a kid. Okay, so, um, I got upset when I went to nursery. Yes, I did, I didn't enjoy the idea of it, but when I was there, I did enjoy it. Um, can you remember any funny or odd habits I had as a child? Not now.
Charlie's Mum:
Um, you used to like your bottle.
Charlie:
Oh. Do you remember when I was. What age was I when I came to you and I said, I have a real no, I had a revelation, didn't I? I realised why I'm not happy in life.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah, because something was missing.
Charlie:
Something was missing. And what was that?
Charlie's Mum:
And you worked out that it was your bottle.
Charlie:
My my milk bottle.
Charlie's Mum:
Well, you used to have milk, and then you progressed onto water, and then you only gave up your water bottle around Christmas time.
Charlie:
Right.
Charlie's Mum:
Because you wanted big boy toys.
Charlie:
What did you bribe me? You said if you want big boy toys?
Charlie's Mum:
I said Father Christmas is going to get confused if there's a bottle.
Charlie:
Oh, you got me. Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
Because you were about four at the time.
Charlie:
That's normal age, guys. Uh, what is the normal age to give up a bottle in the UK, do you think?
Charlie's Mum:
Probably 2 or 3.
Charlie:
2 or 3! Were you worried?
Charlie's Mum:
No.
Charlie:
No? No, but, um, I had cow's milk. I wasn't having your milk at the age of 3 or 4.
Charlie's Mum:
No.
Charlie:
No, but some cultures, they they go on and on.
Charlie's Mum:
They do.
Charlie:
Yeah. So typically when do people breastfeed until in the UK? I mean it varies.
Charlie's Mum:
It varies. But ideally you breastfeed for a year or so.
Charlie:
Oh okay. I thought you were going to say six months.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah. You only breastfed for six months.
Charlie:
6 to 12 months let's say. Okay. Between that um, and then people and then babies go on to formula.
Charlie's Mum:
Or cow's milk.
Charlie:
Or straight to cow's milk?
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah. They used to say you could have cow's milk from six months and then they've changed it. Now it's later.
Charlie:
Oh. Moo. Yeah. Okay. Right, right, right. Um, so I had a bottle and I missed that dearly when you took it away from me, and I. I realised when I was a teenager.
Charlie's Mum:
I think a bit younger than a teenager.
Charlie:
I was. I'm pretty sure I was trying to be funny.
Charlie's Mum:
I don't think you were.
Charlie:
Haha. I think I remember knowing this is ridiculous, so I wasn't expecting you to get me a bloody bottle.
Charlie's Mum:
No, I wasn't going to get you one either.
Charlie:
Because I wanted big boy toys. Um, okay. Do you also remember, uh, this was when I was. Maybe. I remember I was playing squash at the time. You you picked me out and. No, pulled me up on it. You pulled me up on it. This habit of, um, doing a weird facial expression that we call gurning and gurning is often related to people who have are intoxicated with various narcotics, where it means moving the jaw from side to side. And I did that as a kid.
Charlie's Mum:
You did it for a little while. Yes.
Charlie:
Yeah, just for a little bit. But it was quite strange. And I remember you watched me playing squash and-.
Charlie's Mum:
It was your concentration.
Charlie:
Yeah. I was like *makes sound*. You're like, why are you doing that, darling? And I think I just felt like it was satisfying.
Charlie's Mum:
And I wonder if you did it to direct the ball.
Charlie:
That's going left. That's right. And then down the middle would just be normal. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Uh, what's the most amusing mess I have ever gotten myself into, literally or figuratively? This is the last question for Childhood Shenanigans part one, which is actually quite good because we're at the 20 minute mark. Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
Um, it wasn't really amusing, but you were having fun on the trampoline.
Charlie:
Oh.
Charlie's Mum:
And we didn't have cushions around it. And fortunately I was out in the garden and you were trying to do somersaults and things, and suddenly I looked over there. I think I must have heard a strange noise, and I went over, and you'd got your head down the side of the trampoline, and your legs had flipped over and you were immobilised, held by your neck.
Charlie:
What was what was trapped? I know, but I want you to tell me.
Charlie's Mum:
Well, I think it was. Your head was facing out and your legs were facing. Had gone. Flipped over the top.
Charlie:
Yes, I was, I was like, bent over kind of. Yeah, but what what was stopping me from getting out?
Charlie's Mum:
Well, your head was trapped.
Charlie:
My head was trapped. Trapped. But the springs I remember this. The springs-.
Charlie's Mum:
Of course.
Charlie:
Got caught on my air. My air. That reminds me of when you said to me, Charlie, did you know? Get no. Guess how Americans pronounce erb. We say herbs or herb. They say erb without the H with the, you know, herbs and spices. So I just mispronounced hair. Yes. A voiced sound. Hair. Um, yeah. My hair got caught.
Charlie's Mum:
Caught in the springs.
Charlie:
In the springs. Yeah. Why were there no, um, covers?
Charlie's Mum:
Because we couldn't find any that would fit. I had some, but they all got waterlogged.
Charlie:
Oh.
Charlie's Mum:
And then couldn't find any replacement ones. So you weren't supposed to go on it unless I was with you.
Charlie:
Oh, I see. Waterlogged. Water damage, damaged by water. Water? Can you say waterlogged? I always think of like floor.
Charlie's Mum:
The water had got seeped in through the stitching of the cushions and they were all heavy.
Charlie:
Right. Yeah. Okay. Waterlogged. Yeah. Um, uh, by the way, I'm never, like, accusing. I'm just learning. Like.
Charlie's Mum:
You're my son.
Charlie:
Yes, exactly. Yes. I always bow down to you. And that's a big bow. My mother is five foot two, and I thought it was that reason why I wasn't very. I always felt like a skinny little boy. Um, and I thought, I'm just a small person because I have a from a small family. Um, but my dad's six foot four, so the average should have been fairly tall.
Charlie's Mum:
I was a bit worried, though, that I would get two very tall daughters and one tiny son.
Charlie:
Oh. Oh, right.
Charlie's Mum:
But I didn't.
Charlie:
You didn't? No. Okay. But yeah. Then I realised recently that the portion sizes was something to do with it, because I came home after years of being living abroad and then as an adult came back and you served me up some food, and I think you had served me up a portion size that was the average size when I was a child. And it was tiny! Absolutely tiny. So you starved me as a as a child without my knowledge.
Charlie's Mum:
You actually didn't have that big an appetite then because you were little.
Charlie:
I was little, but I think it's all about training the the child into what they can consume.
Charlie's Mum:
I didn't encourage you to overeat.
Charlie:
Well, certainly not. And you have a thing where you always leave one pea or like one little tiny piece.
Charlie's Mum:
If I'm full, I'll leave a little bit.
Charlie:
Yeah. That's really good because you listen to your stomach. But as children, we used to rip the hell out of you for that, didn't we? Or not rip you? But we would just like, really get annoyed by it.
Charlie's Mum:
Or make fun of me.
Charlie:
Or make fun of you. Yeah, well, that's. Yeah. Rip. Yeah. Um. Did you did you get annoyed by that?
Charlie's Mum:
No.
Charlie:
No, no. Like, uh, like water off a duck's back?
Charlie's Mum:
Absolutely.
Charlie:
Yeah. Quack, quack. Um, okay, so the trampoline.
Charlie's Mum:
Um, other things that you did have a tendency to find a way of getting head injuries as a child.
Charlie:
Yes, yes, I did.
Charlie's Mum:
Several situations. Once was after a party we'd... Everybody had just gone home for I can't remember whether it was Laura or Holly's party. And we had the drinks cabinet open, and you ran through the sitting room and smashed your head into it.
Charlie:
And I'm looking at the very piece of furniture still.
Charlie's Mum:
I keep it closed when you come round now.
Charlie:
And not for my alcoholic addictions, alcohol addiction. Um, it's remarkable how long furniture lasts and how long your generation keeps furniture.
Charlie's Mum:
If it's. If it ain't broke, we don't fix it.
Charlie:
Very good. Yeah. Uh, I guess that's to do with the whole commercial thing nowadays, but, yeah, that seems like it hasn't really aged that mantelpiece.
Charlie's Mum:
You've changed more than that.
Charlie:
I hope so. Otherwise, I'd be a bloody boring person. Um, I haven't moved much. Just. It's just moved down the road, isn't it?
Charlie's Mum:
That's right. We moved down the road and we carried the climbing frame with us.
Charlie:
Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
Oh. Do you remember the removal van?
Charlie:
Yes. The door swung open and crashed into our car. Our parked car.
Charlie's Mum:
We were. Yes, we were going down the road from here and we realised that the door was not closed properly. We were trying to call the drivers, but they couldn't hear us and we were all worried that it was going to swing and bang, bang, bang. The car's all the way down the road, but fortunately it missed all the cars in the road and it only swung open when we stopped at our old house. And that's when it coincided with our blue car.
Charlie:
Yeah, a Vauxhall.
Charlie's Mum:
Cavalier.
Charlie:
Cavalier. Yes, yes, I remember that banger. Was it a banger then?
Charlie's Mum:
No.
Charlie:
Was it a nice car then?
Charlie's Mum:
We had it when it was 18 months old.
Charlie:
No!
Charlie's Mum:
It was one of daddy's ex-company cars.
Charlie:
He was a teacher. How did he get a company car?
Charlie's Mum:
Not your...
Charlie:
Oh, your daddy.
Charlie's Mum:
My daddy.
Charlie:
Ah.
Charlie's Mum:
NSS.
Charlie:
NSS, that's a newsagents that he was part of. NSS. Is that still around?
Charlie's Mum:
I think so.
Charlie:
You probably didn't hear that guys, but we heard a very audible yawn from the room next door. And that was my father. Um, does he often do that?
Charlie's Mum:
He has been known.
Charlie:
Um, he retired within the last six, six years now. Six years. Have you gotten used to life with your husband retired? Because you work from home?
Charlie's Mum:
I do.
Charlie:
And I relate to this now because my partner, she just started a job. You probably know my partner, right?
Charlie's Mum:
I have met her.
Charlie:
Um.
Charlie's Mum:
She's my daughter in law.
Charlie:
Yes. She is. Um. You married us.
Charlie's Mum:
I did.
Charlie:
Yeah, that was so nice. Um, she's just started, uh, her new her own company, and she's now working from home with me as well, so we're now both under the same roof, pretty much 24/7, which is.
Charlie's Mum:
Whereas you used to have the place to yourself, didn't you?
Charlie:
Yeah, yeah. Um, and that's similar to you.
Charlie's Mum:
Although daddy does go out to play golf.
Charlie:
I love how that was a dig within a dig. Almost. Yeah, but don't you want him to go out to have a bit of space?
Charlie's Mum:
Yes. I'm very happy for him to go out.
Charlie:
But I remember you used to get annoyed that he would go and play golf, but you do get annoyed, so you get annoyed that he leaves. But you are happy that he leaves. He can't win, can he?
Charlie's Mum:
He can't win. No.
Charlie:
Would you like it if he did more like grandfather duties AND did golf?
Charlie's Mum:
Yes.
Charlie:
Yes.
Charlie's Mum:
He tends to disappear when the grandchildren come round.
Charlie:
I think I might be the same. I was quite proud of myself to go swimming today.
Charlie's Mum:
Mm impressive.
Charlie:
But that was fun. Yeah, yeah, with the, um, nephews and niece. Not just me swimming on my own. Um, okay. Shall we go on to part two now?
Charlie's Mum:
Yes.
Charlie:
Family traditions and quirks. So what's a family tradition we have that always makes us laugh? It's not really a tradition, but I always remember my father, your husband, um, always mishearing words.
Charlie's Mum:
He still does. In fact, he mishears more now.
Charlie:
Oh really. But does he do it in a comical way where he references something very confidently that was not the thing that he should have heard?
Charlie's Mum:
No, not like the slippers.
Charlie:
Yes. So we were going on holiday. We were. It's not even funny to other people. But we were on we were in the airport and we were all talking about what we brought. We were quite young. Unexcusable inexcusable for you. You're an adult. But we were sharing what was in our suitcase. What? God, what a dead chat. But, um, we all said, have we got our..? Have you got your slippers? Have you got your slippers? Yes, yes, yes. And he says, what flippers? Yes. I brought my flippers. Or. Had he, no, he forgot his flippers.
Charlie's Mum:
No, he'd forgotten his driving license.
Charlie:
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that was a drama in itself. But, um, yes, he would always mishear words, normal words, and create a very random word out of it.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah.
Charlie:
Um, any other traditions? I mean, there's quite a lot of food traditions.
Charlie's Mum:
Birthdays were always a tradition. And you always looked forward to your birthdays.
Charlie:
Yes.
Charlie's Mum:
And I remember one birthday where you were very, very excited because you were going to get some drums, a drum kit.
Charlie:
A drum kit.
Charlie's Mum:
And your birthday was on Monday, and this was Sunday, the day before your birthday. And for some reason you managed to persuade me.
Charlie:
I was very manipulative with that, wasn't I?
Charlie's Mum:
You were. You said it would be a good idea if you spent the time today setting up your drums, because you would have to go to school tomorrow and you wouldn't have that much time to play with your drums. And I don't know why I agreed, but I did. And then you set them all up and you enjoyed that. But the next day you came to me and you said you were feeling really sad and disappointed because there was nothing exciting.
Charlie:
And this was the most expensive birthday present I had ever received.
Charlie's Mum:
And that you will ever receive.
Charlie:
Hahaha. It's a good learning though, to realise that it's not about the the expense or the size of the present. It's about building up the excitement of that day.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah.
Charlie:
I mean that was an amazing present and I used them for years.
Charlie's Mum:
And that was the thing. Normally you had lots of presents, but they were smaller presents. So you had one big present.
Charlie:
Oh yes, that's true. So I had nothing to open. And so I was a very, very spoilt child that was very sad.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah.
Charlie:
Oh, I've got nothing to open on my birthday. And also I was a beginner at drums, so it actually wasn't that fun. Like, oh, exciting drums, but de-dung-dung tss! You can't really.
Charlie's Mum:
Yes. You didn't play that well.
Charlie:
No.
Charlie:
We have come to the end of part one, so feel free to take a break from your listening practice, but if you're happy to keep going, then we're now moving on to part two of this episode. Thanks so much for being a premium or Academy member and enjoy the rest of the show.
Charlie's Mum:
I didn't say anything because I wanted to encourage you.
Charlie:
Yes. Of course. Um. Is, are you talking about. I won't I won't let my ego get involved, but are you talking about the whole way through my drumming career?
Charlie's Mum:
No, just on the birthday.
Charlie:
On the birthday.
Charlie's Mum:
You did get very good at the drums.
Charlie:
Oh very good!
Charlie's Mum:
Yes.
Charlie:
Oh okay. Thank you. Feel better now. Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
That's why I was sad when you sold them.
Charlie:
Yeah, I just didn't use them enough, though. And I'm actually not very good. I mean, as my son, I can... As my son? As my as as your son, I can see why you would think that I had gotten very good. But in comparison to proper drummers, I was quite amateur. But you just.
Charlie's Mum:
Don't tell me that.
Charlie:
No, no, don't tell you that. Yeah. Um. And. Yeah. So birthdays.
Charlie's Mum:
You also got very excited when you got a new pair of shoes or trainers.
Charlie:
Oh yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
And you would have them next to you at bedtime.
Charlie:
Ha. Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
So that you could look at them.
Charlie:
Yeah. That's very sweet.
Charlie's Mum:
Very sweet.
Charlie:
That's I think that's very mindful.
Charlie's Mum:
Yes. You were very appreciative.
Charlie:
A very appreciative. Grateful.
Charlie's Mum:
Yes.
Charlie:
Yeah. I, uh.
Charlie's Mum:
Of your small trainers.
Charlie:
Of my.
Charlie's Mum:
They weren't cheaper though.
Charlie:
No. How annoying. Well, no, it was cheaper for a few years because I was still in child size whilst.
Charlie's Mum:
Have you gone out of them?
Charlie:
Very good. Yes. Size eight.
Charlie's Mum:
You've got your small feet from me anyway.
Charlie:
Yeah I do. Yeah, it's probably because you rationed me.
Charlie's Mum:
And my father.
Charlie:
And your father, and that was actually useful. I mean, not when he died.
Charlie's Mum:
Because you stepped into a dead man's shoes.
Charlie:
But he had some really nice shoes, and I got married in a pair of his shoes.
Charlie's Mum:
You did.
Charlie:
They were really. They are really nice shoes. Yeah. Thank you, Granddaddy. Again!
Charlie's Mum:
Daddy.
Charlie:
Daddy! Granddaddy. Gosh. Grandmummy? Did I call her?
Charlie's Mum:
No, Mama.
Charlie:
I called her mama. Yeah. What was that from?
Charlie's Mum:
From my grandmother called Mama and Papa.
Charlie:
Mama and Papa. And then mine were Mama and Granddaddy. This is all very middle class language. Like, it really shouldn't. I mean, most of my friends and family would be like, what the hell? Why are you calling them Grandmummy? It would be Grandma and Grandad.
Charlie's Mum:
It wasn't Grandmummy.
Charlie:
No sorry. Yes.
Charlie's Mum:
It was Grandaddy. Yeah, and now I'm Mama E and Grandpa.
Charlie:
Mama E is more of just like a nickname, I'd say.
Charlie's Mum:
Well, it's because I couldn't be called Mama because that's the same as my mother.
Charlie:
Yes.
Charlie's Mum:
And E is for what I was called when I was little. Elizabeth.
Charlie:
Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
Because it's a very long name.
Charlie:
Very long name. It is. Yeah. It's arrogant taking up so much time, Elizabeth.
Charlie's Mum:
Ann.
Charlie:
What do you mean?
Charlie's Mum:
My full name is Elizabeth Ann.
Charlie:
What? As in, you're a double barrelled first name?
Charlie's Mum:
Not exactly.
Charlie:
No. Your second. Your middle name is Ann?
Charlie's Mum:
Yes.
Charlie:
Yeah. Okay. I thought I was going to lose my shit. Um, traditions.
Charlie's Mum:
Cut.
Charlie:
Birth-. Traditions at birthday. Uh.
Charlie's Mum:
Chocolate cake.
Charlie:
Chocolate cake. So you learnt a recipe by one of your friends, Lynn?
Charlie's Mum:
Yes.
Charlie:
And this recipe, I think I learnt has because I made it once. It has probably your year's worth of sugar intake in one cake.
Charlie's Mum:
10.5oz.
Charlie:
10.5oz. So much sugar, so much sugar. But we have it very regularly.
Charlie's Mum:
Every birthday.
Charlie:
Every birthday. And there's a lot of birthdays in this house now. Or family. Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
You missed a lot of them.
Charlie:
Ooh!
Charlie's Mum:
By being overseas.
Charlie:
Yes.
Charlie's Mum:
For ten years.
Charlie:
Um, are you happy that I've come back?
Charlie's Mum:
Very happy.
Charlie:
How happy?
Charlie's Mum:
Out of?
Charlie:
Out of ten.
Charlie's Mum:
Ten!
Charlie:
Ten? Really?
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah.
Charlie:
Okay. Because how often do you think we see each other?
Charlie's Mum:
Once a month?
Charlie:
Yeah, yeah, once a month.
Charlie's Mum:
Average.
Charlie:
Yeah I suppose. Yeah. That is a big difference.
Charlie's Mum:
Compared to once every three years.
Charlie:
Yeah. Not three years!
Charlie's Mum:
When you were in Australia.
Charlie:
Well that was Covid. Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
And Australia.
Charlie:
Well no. We would have come back quite regularly.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah.
Charlie:
Once a year. And then you would have come out. So it would have been twice a year. Um, anyway, is there a favourite wrong word or phrase I used to say that's become a family joke?
Charlie's Mum:
Um, there was a mobile phone at a toy mobile phone that you had as children, and the expression on it was, 'how can we help you?' And you insisted that they were saying 'out the window.' We got you to listen to it umpteen times.
Charlie:
No, it wasn't, it wasn't 'how can we help you?' It was 'Operator. Operator.' Operator.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah, I understand that.
Charlie:
Well you're looking at me like you don't understand what I'm saying.
Charlie's Mum:
I can't see how that's out the window.
Charlie:
Out the window, operator.
Charlie's Mum:
Out the window.
Charlie:
Out the window.
Charlie's Mum:
How can we help you?
Charlie:
Why would it be 'how can we help you?'
Charlie's Mum:
Because you would. They were the operator.
Charlie:
They need to announce it. Oh, I see, it could be the follow up.
Charlie's Mum:
When you used to ring the operator, they would say 'how can I help you.'
Charlie:
No. Operator or operator is much more like out the window than how can we help you? How can we help you. Out the window. Operator. Out the window. This is good audio. Really good. But yeah, I was insistent and I got really angry that you were all against me. And I really thought you were doing it deliberately to spite me, to really sort of.
Charlie's Mum:
Upset you.
Charlie:
Upset me. Yeah. Um, so, yeah.
Speaker2:
And then your other little expression was when you were playing a game of 'it' or something, other children would say 'Pax' but you would say 'packed lunch.'
Charlie:
Hahaha. Why would I say packed lunch?
Charlie's Mum:
It was the only expression that sounded similar to you. And you'd heard people at school say, dinners, packed lunch.
Charlie:
This is such a thing that you find funny, but makes no sense to anyone.
Charlie's Mum:
So whenever you played it, you'd say packed lunch!
Charlie:
So there's a thing where people it's kind of like bagsy, bagsy.
Charlie's Mum:
I'm safe kind of thing.
Charlie:
Yes, yes, it's a word to indicate that you're safe.
Charlie's Mum:
You can't get me.
Charlie:
When you're playing a game and one of you is trying to be caught or something. Yeah, and you say, I know I'm safe now. I don't really get why we used to say that, but.
Charlie's Mum:
You used to take your packed lunch with you.
Charlie:
Yeah. So I used to think people were saying packed lunch.
Charlie's Mum:
Yes.
Charlie:
Packed lunch. So. Okay. Yeah, I do remember that. And my sisters, they teased me a lot about that. Um, I want to go off script for a bit, and I want you just to sort of think about the general behaviour and personality of me as a kid. What was I really like? Was I quite different, like in a weird way, or was I quite, quite normal? Was I quite well behaved? Was I really naughty?
Charlie's Mum:
You were quite. You were quite well behaved and you were very sweet when you played with your toys, you'd sit with your little cars and you would play. You loved anything with wheels or a ball. You were very sporty. You liked kicking a football from a very young age and playing cricket from a young age.
Charlie:
Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
So you liked to be out in the garden. You also had a little car that you used to like driving around called Tot One.
Charlie:
Oh Tot one. Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
And it had a little boot.
Charlie:
Yes, it did have a boot.
Charlie's Mum:
And if I had lost my keys ever, that was the first place I would look.
Charlie:
Oh, that's really annoying for you, but cute.
Charlie's Mum:
But you did very good three point turns in that little car.
Charlie:
Still do.
Charlie's Mum:
In the kitchen.
Charlie:
Still do. Got it down. Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
But you were better off on toy cars than real cars because.
Charlie:
What! I've only had one crash.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah, but you one car, you got to break down, didn't you, on the motorway.
Charlie:
Yeah. That's the car's fault. You can't blame me for the conveyor belt snapping. Although I didn't hear it because I had the music pumping.
Charlie's Mum:
Right. Okay. Yeah. And your accident was very soon after you'd passed your test, wasn't it?
Charlie:
Yeah, that was a mistake. But I learned from that.
Charlie's Mum:
Good.
Charlie:
And I feel like I'm a much more careful driver now.
Charlie's Mum:
Good.
Charlie:
Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
Because you pulled out in front of a very large articulated lorry. In front of the school.
Charlie:
Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
With all your friends in the car.
Charlie:
Yeah. Yeah, I put lives at risk. But it was all at 20 miles an hour kind of behaviour. I was going five miles an hour.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah.
Charlie:
I was going probably three miles an hour left and then five miles an hour horizontal because the lorry pile drove in. Pile drove or drive? Drove. Pile drove.
Charlie's Mum:
Um, not sure about that one.
Charlie:
To pile drive into something.
Charlie's Mum:
Just drove into you.
Charlie:
Yeah. He just drove into me.
Charlie's Mum:
And pushed you along.
Charlie:
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that wasn't great. But I've learned from it.
Charlie's Mum:
Good.
Charlie:
And I think everyone not not that everyone needs a crash, but you learn how to drive properly once you realise what impact like that could have.
Charlie's Mum:
Yeah.
Charlie:
Did you ever have a crash?
Charlie's Mum:
I dented my car a bit when I was trying to park it once.
Charlie:
Oh, that's not quite the same. But never. Never a big crash?
Charlie's Mum:
I did actually bump a car when I was. I went in the ditch once with two children in the back.
Charlie:
Not me.
Charlie's Mum:
No. Before you.
Charlie:
Laura and Holly. That's why they're a bit weird. Wow.
Charlie's Mum:
Coming out near Mrs. Smee in the village.
Charlie:
Mrs. Smee. Oh, the pianist. The pianist? Yeah, the piano teacher.
Charlie's Mum:
No, no. Lived opposite Sue Reeve.
Charlie:
Oh okay.
Charlie's Mum:
I was collecting some ironing from there, and I hadn't realised they'd dug a trench and I didn't see the trench, and the car got down in it.
Charlie:
Oh.
Charlie's Mum:
Not good.
Charlie:
But again, not high impact kind of thing.
Charlie's Mum:
No.
Charlie:
Okay. I'd like to play outdoors. Quite a few things. How was I with, um, other friends? Was I a bit sensitive? I was quite sensitive.
Charlie's Mum:
Yes, you were a bit sensitive. You didn't. You were a bit embarrassed about having pet sheep.
Charlie:
Yeah.
Charlie's Mum:
I remember you coming back and saying, I wish I didn't have sheep. People think it's strange that I've got pet sheep.
Charlie:
And that's because it is. It's very strange to have pet sheep.
Charlie's Mum:
But I was used to it. We had a sheep when I was little.
Charlie:
Yes, you had one, but you also had 50 other animals.
Charlie's Mum:
We had lots of animals.
Charlie:
Yeah. We were just looking through some old photos. And your mother had at least five dogs in every photo she had around her, and they were all looking at her like she was about to give her them a treat.
Charlie's Mum:
She probably was.
Charlie:
So I can imagine she had dog treats in every pocket.
Charlie's Mum:
No she didn't actually. She didn't use treats.
Charlie:
Oh.
Charlie's Mum:
No. That's why they never did was they were told.
Charlie:
But you had loads of guinea pigs, loads of rabbits.
Charlie's Mum:
Chickens.
Charlie:
Chicken. Yeah. Chickens. Doves.
Charlie's Mum:
Doves, ducks.
Charlie:
Ducks.
Charlie's Mum:
Bantams.
Charlie:
What's a bantams?
Charlie's Mum:
They're chickens. Small chickens.
Charlie:
Oh, right. And a pony.
Charlie's Mum:
Pony.
Charlie:
Yeah. Um.
Charlie's Mum:
And a sheep.
Charlie:
And a sheep. I don't remember-
Charlie's Mum:
And a goat.
Charlie:
Where did you have the sheep?
Charlie's Mum:
In the garden.
Charlie:
Oh, but like.
Charlie's Mum:
But it did. Well, daddy met it for the first time when he came home from work. He came into the sitting room.
Charlie:
Which daddy?
Charlie's Mum:
My daddy.
Charlie:
Your daddy.
Charlie's Mum:
Daddy. It was sitting on his green chair. The one you sat on. A little lamb. It was a lamb.
Charlie:
Oh, right.
Charlie's Mum:
So it's fine.
Charlie:
Do you remember when. So for the audience, why do we have sheep?
Charlie's Mum:
To eat the grass.
Charlie:
To eat the grass. And we don't have a small front garden or back garden. There's a field adjacent to our property that was technically part of this property before we bought it, because this was a chicken farm in the in the war, wasn't it?
Charlie's Mum:
It was.
Charlie:
And, um, where was I going with that? Oh, yeah. So-.
Charlie's Mum:
We rent it now.
Charlie:
There's a lot of land next to us that's not ours, but we rent it. And technically, I think the reason that we got livestock on there was to keep travellers from parking up on there, because they they did that in the village opposite us or near our village, didn't we? And we got a bit worried about that. I feel like this is why we and you promised us that we would get horses. I feel so spoilt. I hate how I sound, but we thought we were gonna get going to get horses. And then we came back and there was a field full of sheep and you said, oh yeah, we couldn't afford horses. They're