Transcript of Bonus Episode 025 - Transcript

Charlie:
Hello and welcome to the show where your host, Charlie, that's me, tries to teach you British English at the same time as adding to your cultural awareness of British people. And today we have an episode with the one and only Harry, and we're going to be talking about some very serious philosophical questions that us two British people will try to solve together. Are you doing all right, Harry? Are you ready for this challenge?

Harry:
I'm ready. I'm ready to solve some philosophical questions. Yes, yes.

Charlie:
Have you ever been told that you look like you would be good at philosophy? You know, stopped on the street and said, have you ever done philosophy at uni?

Harry:
No. No. But I think a lot of my conversations often go in that direction and then people say, Oh, my God, we're going deep. And then I go, 'Yeah. You're right.' Someone did say something funny, though, the other day. I was in Five Guys, you know, the fast food restaurant?

Charlie:
Oh, yes. Burgers and good burgers. Good premium burgers.

Harry:
Great. I'd say great burgers.

Charlie:
Oh, okay, great.

Harry:
They are lovely. Anyway, we just... We had just ordered our burgers. Me and my - My sister's boyfriend.

Charlie:
Husband?

Harry:
No, not husband. No. Boyfriend. No.

Charlie:
Sorry.

Harry:
Not to be talked about. They've only been together ten years. Come on, give them. Give them some time. And... He doesn't listen to this. It's fine. And these guys, a group of young, they were chavs, they were chavs.

Charlie:
Five guys,

Harry:
Five guys! There were five guys walked into Five Guys. I said, Hey, guys. They started speaking to me and they were really drunk.

Charlie:
All of them at once?

Harry:
All at the same time. I was like, Whoa, whoa, whoa, one at a time, please. They were very, very drunk. And they were laughing at Rob, right? Rob - my sister's boyfriend, Rob.

Charlie:
Not husband.

Harry:
He wears glasses, not husband. Looks a little bit geeky. Okay. And they looked at him. And they said, you know what you look like? You know what you look like? You look like an architecture. And we were like, Right. Okay. Look at architecture. Oh, my God. Not an architect. Not an architect, but an architecture.

Charlie:
Yeah. I can see why you thought of that when I said, do you look like somebody who does philosophy?

Harry:
Yeah. And then, yeah, they. They should have turned to me and said, you look like a philosophy.

Charlie:
Yeah.

Harry:
But no, they didn't. They didn't say that. I wish...

Speaker3:
Well, either way...

Harry:
they would have. Wish they had. I wish they had.

Charlie:
Wish they had. Yeah, either way, it sounds like you're up to the task.

Harry:
Definitely, definitely.

Charlie:
Yeah. Since getting glasses, I feel like I'm more able to fit the bill of this.

Harry:
Hmm.

Charlie:
I think people take me as more of a nerd, but also academic. I've made friends since having these glasses, and they... I think they have given me, like, maybe ten more points in the IQ realm.

Harry:
Ten very well needed points.

Charlie:
Yeah. Desperately needed.

Harry:
Yeah. It's funny, isn't it? We're so superficial, aren't we, people? Absolutely. See, you see a pair of glasses and you think, oh, he's professional. Yeah.

Charlie:
I will tell you, though, I think I needed glasses more since doing so much reading on the computer. Like doing all this website designing and like the podcast editing and all the things that came with writing these emails. I think it made me realise that I need glasses and I think if I was a manual labourer I wouldn't have noticed as much. I genuinely mean it. Sometimes I'm looking at the screen, I can barely see it because I'm like...Oh.

Harry:
That's true. Yeah. It definitely strains your eyes, doesn't it? And probably more likely to. Yeah. Have your your vision getting worse and worse because of looking at the screen all the time. Definitely. That makes sense.

Charlie:
Yeah. I feel like we could create our own philosophical question out of this topic, but I bought some trousers today.

Harry:
Here's an update from me: I bought some trousers.

Charlie:
You didn't ask me how I was, but I wanted to say I bought some trousers today.

Harry:
I'm pretty good actually. I bought some trousers today.

Charlie:
And I felt chuffed to bits. Put them on, and I thought, these look great. And I went down to the coffee shop and started doing some emails and stuff and... And then walked home and I felt like the coffee baristas were laughing at me because they, they kind of know my work schedule. They know that I go to a coffee shop and then I go home, like they know I don't work in an office. So when they saw these trousers, I think they thought he's just put them on for us, the little sad twat. He's going to go home and wear those.

Harry:
Did they laugh at you? Did they make a comment about your trousers or did you tell them? 'I've just bought some trousers!'

Charlie:
They said, 'Flat white?' I said 'trousers? New?'

Harry:
Were they white trousers? Were they white linen trousers?

Charlie:
Weird that you said that. I bought some white ones and Stacey said 'send them back right now. You're not allowed them'.

Harry:
Ha ha.

Charlie:
So I went back and I thought, right, I'm just going to nip in, swap them for another colour and then, you know, be happy and on my way, $200 later, I had like six more items in my bag. I got carried away, but I did exchange the white pair for a a grey or a like light khaki colour. I'd say grey, anyway.

Harry:
I can see you in that colour. Yeah. Yeah. What, are they like kind of a light... lightweight kind of trouser?

Charlie:
They're more of a sheen... a sheeno, a chino. Sorry. And. Right. And they've got this sort of. The style that cool Asian people wear, I'd say.

Harry:
Okay. Okay. You know, I'm trying to imagine what a cool Asian person might wear. Yeah. Okay.

Charlie:
It's kind of high waisted, but, you know, you've got a t shirt over it, so you can't see that. And then the... the... And then you've got the...

Harry:
Don't cover it up!

Charlie:
The trouser fold is at the front, not the sides. Or the ironing. You iron it in half, if you know what I mean.

Harry:
Right.

Charlie:
And then it's it's slightly short so you can see your ankles.

Harry:
Right. Is that because you have them pulled up so high?

Charlie:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Harry:
That's the style?

Charlie:
That is the style. Yeah.

Harry:
Yeah. It's quite cool nowadays, isn't it, to show your socks. I guess it has been for about five years.

Charlie:
Yeah. I wonder when.

Harry:
They used to say, 'oh, jack-ups, jack-ups'. But then if you're in a cool city, you get you kind of get away with wearing things like that. But then you go back to your town or village and everyone looks at you like you're a complete weirdo and you can even hear them making comments about you as you walk out the coffee shop with your flat white.

Charlie:
Yeah, that's spot on because I went back to the UK to see my family and you and my sister and her husband, not boyfriend. And they made a comment about it. They were like, is this is this actually a fashion or is this just you being weird? And I got annoyed. No, I said, Uh, this is me, you know? And then

Harry:
It just. It's, it's everyone in a cool place.

Charlie:
And then I got on the train to London and as soon as I was like, you know, within zone four or something, everyone's got them on. So it's like my sister and her husband, they just need to get a train up to London, see for themselves.

Harry:
Need to get a life.

Charlie:
Everyone's exposing the sock. God get a life. Exactly.

Harry:
I feel the older I get, the more colourful I want to dress like I want to... I want to dress in a more interesting way. But then when I meet up with friends from school, the ones that live in Bedford still, the ones that haven't escaped Bedford, they still dress like their parents, their mum dresses them. You know, it's like not nothing interesting. They're probably quite expensive clothes, but it's just like no colour and like nothing remotely different or out there. And if I wear something at all different, they just rip the p out of me. The piss, which isn't nice. I think I need some new friends.

Charlie:
Right. Yeah. Well, get on that train, baby. Get to zone 4 to 1. Or 1 to 4.

Harry:
Take me to Zone 4.

Charlie:
Right. We've, we've warmed up enough I think for the first conundrum. Conundrum. Can you can you remember the definition of that word?

Harry:
Not word for word.

Charlie:
Not a walking, talking dictionary.

Harry:
Conundrum, like a like a puzzle of something very complicated that you must try to solve?

Charlie:
Yeah. A basic explanation. A problem that is difficult to deal with.

Harry:
Countdown conundrum was a mixture of letters, all in a random order, and you had to figure out what word they could be rearranged to spell.

Charlie:
Yeah, I think that might be the other meaning: a question that is a trick often involving a humorous use of words that have two meanings, maybe. Anyway, a problem that is difficult to deal with, and we are going to take it head on. So we're going to go with this one. Some people say that having children is the meaning of their life. In what way is that a good idea and in what way might that make no sense?

Harry:
Having children is the meaning of life. In what way is that a good way to live or not? Mm hmm. Well, I guess you could say, in a way, it is the meaning of life, because, you know, we are put here to recreate. And some of my Bible loving students would tell me that it definitely quotes in the Bible that said, you know, you need to flourish and create as many men and women upon the earth as possible. You are going to rule the earth. So you could say that's the meaning of life. But, you know, there are other chapters of the Bible that probably say, you know, the meaning of life is to be happy. I just think the meaning of life, the point is to be to be happy, to not damage the planet as, you know, too much. Well, not at all. If possible.

Charlie:
Not at all.

Harry:
Be happy. Be a good person, and spread love. I think that's that's... For me, that's the meaning of life. But I don't know. I don't know. What do you think?

Charlie:
What do I think? Well, you've just said the big one of the meaning of life. I don't know if we can...we can, you know answer it straightaway.

Harry:
I haven't actually answered the question, have I?

Charlie:
No, no, you haven't. So some people say that having children is the meaning of their life. In what way is that a good idea?

Harry:
So the question is, in what way is that a good idea?

Charlie:
Yeah. And in what way might that not make sense?

Harry:
Well, how do you feel about this? Cos you really want children, right? And you've told me that. Well, I know. I know for a fact you want to have children, and a lot of your endeavours are inspired and your decisions are kind of informed by your desire to have kids in the future, right?

Charlie:
Yes. Yes, I suppose so.

Harry:
Or are you lying?

Charlie:
I am lying to you all the time. I just say that to sound normal. Secretly, I want to hide away in a closet and just record podcasts for evermore.

Harry:
We all know you're in the closet.

Charlie:
Check the glossary, guys, for that one. I would say that I was talking to Stacey about this actually having a child, obviously, you immediately... Well, if you're a half decent one, you immediately think that they are your world and that's your issue. But I did put the analogy towards her as it it's a bit like a an old lady getting a new dog. Do you know what I mean?

Harry:
What, having kids is a bit like an old lady getting a new dog?

Charlie:
Yeah, because we've got so many... I mean, we do need to keep the demographic, right, like the population and the ageing and all that. But. We've got too many people on this planet, I think. And to have. Yeah, and to have more, it seems greedy of us. Let some nature come on, have its say. Yeah. So I feel like we don't need them that much. And so just having one is kind of like a an easy way to have a purpose in life.

Harry:
Hmm.

Charlie:
Like an old lady who's lost her way. You give her a dog. She feels like she has a purpose to get up and walk the dog and feed it and stuff. Mm hmm. Or an old man. You know, I'm not being sexist in this conversation.

Harry:
Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. I was going to say, what about the old men who have lost their way, who've lost their marbles?

Charlie:
Yeah, well, they normally die first.

Harry:
Old men?

Charlie:
Well, women statistically live a couple of years longer than men, apparently.

Harry:
Hmm. Would you be annoyed if Stacey outlived you? I guess you wouldn't be annoyed. You'd be. You'd be dead.

Charlie:
Yeah, I'd be selfishly happy. I'd be like, ha, ha, I'm not mourning your death. I'm joking.

Harry:
Yes. You'd rather die first?

Charlie:
No, I mean, maybe. Maybe I'm so heartful. Heartful? I'm so kind that I would want it the other way. Maybe we... we do a Romeo and Juliet kind of moment when we're 89 and we...

Harry:
I would definitely pretend to take the poison. Just keep one eye open. 'Have you taken it? Have you actually taken it?'

Charlie:
And then you both do that, and you end up in a stalemate, for about 15 hours. Just one eye.

Harry:
Yeah. Trying to kill each other. Oh, God. No, I think I see what you're saying there. Yeah. Having kids definitely gives purpose to your life. Yeah, and I think a lot of people do it for that reason. We like to feel like life is building towards something, don't we? That we're always progressing and developing and. Yeah. We're building up to something big, which is, well, our death, really, but a way of having family around us, I guess, it's a good way of shielding us from the inevitable death. And it's, you know. Yeah, it's a way for us to kind of live on through something else. So I think maybe that's why people want to have kids. And it does give you... Definitely gives your life purpose. Absolutely. It's so... I... Right now in my life, I'm really enjoying being an uncle. For some reason, the last six months like or four months maybe - since becoming single, actually. I value being an uncle like above most things right now. I love spending time with my niece and nephew, especially my niece. She's just she is so cute and I like my heart just melts when I see her and I see I see it. Yeah. No I love Fred to bits as well, my nephew.

Charlie:
Hello Fred. Go away. Yeah.

Harry:
Is Molly coming today, or...? You know. It's... I love, I love seeing them and I see why Luke and Kay, my brother and his wife, they want to to have kids. I definitely see it.

Charlie:
And thinking about going forward without kids, that would, you know, I'm ten years into my relationship. I don't think we can do many more years without getting bored of each other unless there's a new challenge.

Harry:
Yeah, that's it. That's it. Yeah.

Charlie:
Yeah. You know, we've, we've lived in different countries to distract ourselves from each other. Like, it's been a challenge that's exciting for both of us together. But when the dust settles, it's like, it's just us. It's just us now. No, I'm joking. I want children. I think it's a good idea, but I don't know if it's the only good idea. And I certainly don't think you need to have children.

Harry:
It's having challenges, isn't it? Like you said, like it's like moving to other countries. I know you jokingly said it was a distraction, but it's the challenge that you both face and you got through together and then you end up really enjoying your time in these different countries. And, you know, having a having kids, there's probably no bigger challenge, is there, like to - than... than being a parent and bringing up... Unless like you want to be the prime minister or something. But like, bringing up children and doing it well, like, that is something that requires all of your time and all of your energy, really.

Charlie:
What do you reckon you would be better at? Uh, being a father of seven or prime minister for six months.

Harry:
I reckon. Oh, my God. Well, Prime Minister, I dunno, you have so many advisors around you, don't you?

Charlie:
You do,

Harry:
The Prime Minister. Do you really have to make that many decisions? Probably have to make quite a few.

Charlie:
Yeah, you do a lot of speeches, but they probably... Is the right word - Vet? They vet it for you.

Harry:
Yeah. Do you think I would actually have to write them? I wouldn't want to write them. No, they'd have other people writing them surely. Anyway, that would be a bloody... That'd be a bloody nightmare, not just because of the speeches, but like God. No, no, because you can't please everyone. And I would struggle having so many people that hate me. So.

Charlie:
Yeah,

Harry:
And it's politics. I hate politics. I, I can't talk about politics. I hate it. No, no, thank you. I'd rather be... Bring me seven, seven kids.

Charlie:
Seven kids coming your way. Okay.

Harry:
Only for six months though? Only for six months, or are they for life.

Charlie:
Well they probably will be for life. Yeah. I think you get the Prime Minister role for six months but you do get kids for life normally.

Harry:
There's always adoption. There's always adoption.

Charlie:
Okay. All right. We're going to go into the next one. Harry, is it ever okay to steal? What if you were very poor? What - Would it be okay to steal food, to feed your family? Where should the line be drawn?

Harry:
That's deep.

Charlie:
That makes me want to ask. Have you ever stolen, have you ever stolen anything?

Harry:
Yeah. When I was a kid, I used to steal probably when we were like 12 or something. Me and my friends started stealing sweets. Now and then.

Charlie:
One penny sweets or...?

Harry:
No, sometimes we grab, like, packets of sweets, like we, we'd like put several... When it got to it's worst point, it's... We got to our peak in crime. We were probably like putting five or six packs of... I'm talking polos, fruit gums, fruit pastilles, Mars bars, stuff like that into our bags. So like, you know, maybe £5 worth of things sometimes. That's when it got, that's when it got really bad.

Charlie:
You were a right wrong'un.

Harry:
I know, I was a wrong'un. Terrible. Terrible.

Charlie:
You fell in with a terrible crowd. Or would you say that you were the influencer within that group?

Harry:
I wouldn't say I was the main kind of, I didn't like instigate it or maybe I did sometimes. I don't know. I don't know who instigated it. I think we were all... I was pretty up for it, to be honest with you. I enjoyed the rush of it. But yeah, I quickly grew out of it. Sometimes I do. I steal, you know what I steal - I still I still steal regularly: Plastic bags. Plastic bags. When they started charging for plastic bags, that really pissed me off.

Charlie:
Mr. Giles is going to take a stand against the five p bag.

Harry:
Does annoy me and I don't I try not to use, I do try to reuse the thousands of plastic bags that I have that I've stolen that I have in my kitchen. Sometimes I forget though. And so when I'm at the self service, yeah, I'll take a bag. You're supposed to say at the beginning of the transaction you say like I'm using my own bags or I want to pay for a plastic bag and I normally just say I'm using my own.

Charlie:
Yeah. Brilliant. Genius. Did you know that they've got little webcams on those? Have you ever seen them?

Harry:
I do. I love them. Yeah, yeah, I love them. I check my hair every time.

Charlie:
Oh, right. Okay. Yeah. You look into the lens when you opt for the option that is showing that you're lying.

Harry:
Yeah.

Charlie:
Are you lying to my webcam face? Yeah.

Harry:
Yeah.

Charlie:
Look how new this looks, yeah.

Harry:
Yeah.

Charlie:
Okay, fair enough.

Harry:
It was just in pristine condition when I first got it. There goes my dad. Yes, yes. So what about you? But I didn't answer the question again. Did you... No, you asked if I've stolen, right? You asked if I... So I did answer the question. Well done me. What about you? Have you stolen, Charlie? I bet you've stolen a few hearts.

Charlie:
I... Have I stolen? I remember my friend stole. Well, he wasn't our friend. He was in our friendship group. And he stole all of our Pokemon cards, which was very upsetting. But no, I remember I think I. I did actually steal a burger once when I was in year seven. When I was in year seven, I was talking to Stacey about this actually. In the canteen at school. They had these like 70p cheeseburgers. And I... And my friends used to always steal like the £3.10 pepperoni paninis and they'd put them in the inside of their blazers like a baller, you know, this bold... Yeah, quite a substantial item to hide. And they would just slip it in and walk out. £3.10. Yeah. And then I'm doing inflation. Of course, ten years ago or 20 years ago, it was £2.10.

Harry:
You could get four burgers for that.

Charlie:
You did the math. Yeah, exactly. But I felt like I needed to steal something because they were showing off and I was so nervous. My heart was through the roof. I slipped the burger in and I walked past. I thought, my days are over. I thought, this is... They've... They're going to catch me out and this is it. But they didn't and I ate it. And it, it didn't taste good. I mean, they were terrible burgers, but it didn't taste good.

Harry:
So you didn't enjoy the taste of crime?

Charlie:
No, it wasn't for me. And I never went back, I don't think.

Harry:
Good for you. What was the burger?

Charlie:
It was a cheeseburger.

Harry:
Cheeseburger. We used to have those cheap burgers at school. They were 80p in my school. I remember they were in this horrible kind of paper wrapping.

Charlie:
Yeah, exactly.

Harry:
Really greasy. You could see all the grease coming through.

Charlie:
Yes. Yeah. When I told Stacey that, she was very confused because she went to a much smaller school and the canteen gave it to you on a plate, you know, like a proper hotel buffet or something.

Harry:
Right.

Charlie:
And she was imagining me shoving this boiling hot bap in my clothes and the meat and the juices going everywhere. And she was like, Why would you do that? And the panini as well. It seems crazy, you guys, don't they think that you're going to put it on a plate? But yeah, we had wrappers. We had wrappers.

Harry:
Yeah. It's nice. I'm sure if if you'd asked for a plate, they would have given you one. Not if you've stolen the burger.

Charlie:
No, no, I've just stolen this burger. But do you mind if I have a plate for that?

Harry:
You could take your own plate, maybe.

Charlie:
I could do. Yeah, but yeah. Back to the stealing philosophical question. Is it ever okay to steal? What if you were very poor? Would it be okay to steal food to feed your family? Where should the line be drawn? To be fair, I didn't have much money on my my canteen card, so I was hungry.

Speaker3:
Canteen Card!

Charlie:
I was hungry. And I am me. I am my family. So I was feeding my family. But yours, yours was sweets. And that is a luxury that would be taxed. That's naughty. That's not feeding your family.

Harry:
No, I wasn't. Yeah, you were doing something quite heroic, whereas I was just breaking the law.

Charlie:
Is that where the line should be drawn? Whether it's a taxable luxury item?

Harry:
I think if there's a genuine, like necessity and you can't find it elsewhere, then it's it's understandable and it's maybe more forgivable. But yeah, we should try not to steal. But nowadays you can find like if you are homeless and you need some food, there are places where you can go, there are shelters and stuff. But I dunno, if you are desperate, I mean, what are you going to do? You need to get some food somehow. So maybe.

Charlie:
All right. So the next one, Imagine your school introduces a new rule, making it okay to bully classmates who are caught bullying others. Would it be right or wrong to follow this rule?

Harry:
No. An eye for an eye. And we'll all be blind.

Charlie:
We will be leaving part one there for today. But don't worry. We have part two and three round the corner for you to enjoy.

Charlie:
All right. Here we go with part two of this episode. Enjoy. Imagine your school introduces a new rule, making it okay to bully classmates who are caught bullying others. Would it be right or wrong to follow this rule?

Harry:
No. An eye for an eye and we'll all be blind.

Charlie:
Oh, very nice.

Harry:
Yeah. No, I don't think that's the right policy. I think if you if you bully and you're caught bullying, you should be punished. But also then there's normally a reason behind it. Like they're probably not being treated well at home or, you know, they're on the wrong path. So we should try to treat the bullies, the bullies with compassion as well. Otherwise, they're just going to keep on bullying.

Charlie:
You don't you don't think a wedgie would set them straight?

Harry:
Oh, I know it's tempting. I don't know. Wedgies, wedgies are great. Can you explain what a wedgie is?

Charlie:
A wedgie is where you pull the undergarments, the underpants, the boxers so high from the bottom that it might reach the mid lower back area. And you don't do this on yourself, you do it to somebody else. Or you could wedgie yourself. You could accidentally wedgie yourself, couldn't you, if you're going over a fence or something like that. You know, you're running from the coppers, from stealing a burger. And then your trousers get caught on the fence. And then before you know it, you've wedgied yourself.

Harry:
Yeah, well, it could be some kind of strange self-harm. Punishing yourself for bullying. Stealing.

Charlie:
Yeah. That's a bit less dangerous than the. Is it the asphyxiate masturbation?

Harry:
Asphyxiation wank?

Charlie:
Asphyxiation masturbation. Yeah. Don't Google that, guys, but yeah, that would be a bit less dangerous. So yeah. Wedgying. I think obviously you're right that there's some real issues behind the reason why the bully is bullying and it probably stems from something at home, but I imagine if they get a taste for it, they might feel bad. They might feel bad and they might think twice about it.

Harry:
Potentially.

Charlie:
Bullied, bullied in the playground, I mean. Maybe. I think just run an experiment on it at least.

Harry:
Definitely. Who's going to bully the bully, though?

Charlie:
I'll do it.

Harry:
Because no one bullies the bully because the bully isn't bulliable because they're the bully. But what would it be? Would it be the the teachers would start picking on the bully and making their life hell?

Charlie:
Yeah, it's a very good question. They haven't specified that. I'm imagining. Yes, you're right. It's, it's the teachers that take on the responsibility because after all the bullies are scary to other classmates. Yeah. Ah. And that actually reminds me when I was doing temping as a teacher, I was in the playground, the kids were playing and then one boy was picking on the others, and then he took it a step too far and he got a bit violent with them. And I intervened immediately and I shouted at him and I shouted too loud, way too loud. He was scared shitless or he shat a turd, as you are now saying.

Harry:
Aha.

Charlie:
And yeah, I then very quickly realised oh gosh I could upset him for a bit longer than just 5 seconds right now, that could have been permanent, so...

Harry:
Oh no.

Charlie:
So yeah, maybe bullies are very sensitive.

Harry:
Yeah. I think they've normally got some kind of inferiority complex themselves, right? That's probably why they end up bullying. So they can be superior.

Charlie:
Yeah. Although my dad told me that he was bullied when he was at school, and then he met the son of that bully. He was teaching him. 40 years later, he was teaching him. And then he had to speak with that bully at parents evening. And he noticed that the boy was just as much of a bully as his dad.

Harry:
Oh, God.

Charlie:
Yeah.

Harry:
That must have been horrible for your dad.

Charlie:
Yeah.

Harry:
Do you think he still had a bit of resentment towards this?

Charlie:
I don't know. He. He told me it, and then he kind of said that, you know, he's confiding in me, and I felt touched. And then two days later, he had forgotten and he was telling the whole family the same story.

Harry:
Ha, ha. You thought it was a special father son moment.

Charlie:
Exactly.

Harry:
And he wedgied me in front of the whole class. Yeah, that's it. He completely followed in his father's footsteps and became a bully. Just like his dad.

Charlie:
And it might be because the dad is showing him bad ways, but yeah, who knows?

Harry:
Like father, like son.

Charlie:
Exactly. All right, let's go on to another one. Oh, gosh. Yeah, this is hard. Can you make a case for why it is okay to eat some animals like cows, pigs and lambs and not others like dogs, cats or goldfish?

Harry:
Goldfish! You eat a goldfish and then we'll talk about it.

Charlie:
I don't know if I told you about this. I was on holiday with a veggie and I didn't realise it. But three meals into the holiday, she turns to me after I ordered my dish and she said, 'What have ducks ever done to you?' And I hadn't realised, but we had gone to a lot of Thai restaurants and Vietnamese, sorry, Vietnamese a bit more. And I, I really liked duck dishes, so I got duck apparently three times in a row. And she said 'Ducks are so sweet. How could you kill one? How could you eat one?' And and I had no answer because I think...

Harry:
Could you kill one?

Charlie:
No, I couldn't kill one. So I shouldn't be able to eat one, should I really.

Harry:
That's definitely an argument, isn't it?

Charlie:
Yeah.

Harry:
So annoying when you're sitting there eating a lovely plate of duck and some veggie turns to you and says, 'What have duck ducks ever done to you?' Was she joking?

Charlie:
She wasn't. But I think it might be quite hard for vegetarians and vegans that, you know, when they sit with meat eaters, it. It might be a bit like sitting around a table with cannibals. Like for us who eat meat, that extreme is like watching them dig into all this meat.

Harry:
Yeah, definitely for some, yeah, who have very, very strong views about it. Most vegans that I know though like they don't they don't seem to care and they, you know, they've made their choice and they're happy with you doing whatever you want. But I think going back to the question, like those animals are more domesticated and we live closely with them and we, you know, man's best friend and all that. We're not going to eat dogs. Cows - for hundreds or thousands of years we've been raising them for meat, so it just seems a bit more natural. Oh, I don't know.

Charlie:
They give a lot more, don't they. And chickens though. They give a lot don't they. We eat their their eggs. We eat them, they don't take up much space, do they? They're just like a a football of farm produce, a football of meat that doesn't need much space. You know, a cow needs a lot of grazing area. That's expensive. And the amount of food you need to keep it, give it. Whereas.. And then this football of of meat occasionally pops out some protein every day.

Harry:
When you compare the chicken to a football. I'm just just imagining you running up to it and kicking it. That's not how they're...

Charlie:
That's not how they end. That's not their last moment alive.

Harry:
Just thinking you might have some vegan vegetarian listeners who are getting deeply offended.

Charlie:
I'm only joking, guys. I wouldn't kick a chicken. And I do feel bad about eating duck, but I am a meat eater, so I. But to be fair, I eat it much less now I eat probably one one or two a week. Footballs of meat.

Harry:
One or two ducks. Football of meat. That's quite a lot of meat, actually.

Charlie:
It's a lot, isn't it? It's too much, if anything.

Harry:
Do footballs have bones?

Charlie:
Oh, I hope not. Do you ever worry about eating these kind of animals?

Harry:
No. But I have been thinking recently. I try not to eat... I try not to eat meat too much anyway. But I have been eating rather a lot of chicken.

Charlie:
And that was the end of part two, but we've still got part three. Even more fun to be had with this episode, and I'll see you in Part three.

Charlie:
Hope you have enjoyed it so far, but let's still enjoy the last of it, shall we? So I give you part three of this episode. Do you ever worry about eating these kind of animals?

Harry:
No, but I have been thinking recently, I try not to eat. I try not to eat meat too much anyway. But I have been eating rather a lot of chicken. Probably about four footballs-worth of chicken every week, actually.

Charlie:
Oh, yeah.

Harry:
They just opened up a Wings restaurant in Bedford and it's really good. It's called Foxy Wings, and I love it. I go there every week and just get loads of wings. I love it. I absolutely love it.

Charlie:
I think it is something that in 100, maybe a few more hundred years, we'll look back and be like, I can't believe the way that these people lived. They used to just, you know, slaughter these footballs of meat and eat them and call it a social event. Go go down the shop and get some wings. A bucket of wings. A bucket.

Harry:
I don't get a bucket to be fair.

Charlie:
You just get...

Harry:
But yeah that's... Yeah, you get that at KFC, don't you? A bucket of wings.

Charlie:
Yeah, yeah.

Harry:
Bargain bucket.

Charlie:
Oh. Oh, God, it's terrible.

Harry:
It so bad.

Charlie:
You know, I've heard there's there's hope to be had guys because I think it was about 20 years ago, they started the first lab grown beef burger. So it was no animals were harmed. They took the DNA of it or something and then they multiplied the the organism or something. And it was literally just lab grown. And that cost about $1,000,000 back then. And now, 20 years on, they're selling them commercially. They're selling, I think, chicken nuggets in Singapore, lab grown chicken nuggets. And I hope that in the future I'll be able to eat my duck in peace knowing that it's not not a real duck, it's a lab grown duck.

Harry:
No way. That's insane. So how much do these lab grown chicken nuggets cost, then? Is that an actual thing?

Charlie:
Yeah, it's an actual thing. It's an actual thing. I don't think they're that expensive because, you know, the whole point is that they've got to a level where it's it's on the it's on the market so normal people can buy them.

Harry:
That's hilarious. Okay. Lab grown chicken nuggets.

Charlie:
Singapore, Singapore. I think it's Singapore.

Harry:
That's mad. Yeah. I'd be interested to try that as well. Yeah, it must be expensive, but yeah. If that was an option, if I had to pay, I don't know, 25% more for my meat, I would always go lab grown.

Charlie:
Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Harry:
Maybe even 100%.

Charlie:
Yeah, yeah. I'd pay a lot more. I'd love that. I actually told this this thing - fact? - Thing? - issue? ... Brought this issue up to an Aussie girl here and she just said 'I don't care about eating meat. We eat meat. That's fine.' I was like, 'brilliant, brilliant thought there. Thank you. Okay, fair enough. Each to their own'. But yeah, lab grown meat is the future, I think. Let's all invest. Should we all invest in lab grown meat? And that will help it grow quicker.

Harry:
Yeah. Maybe change your charitable donations this month.

Charlie:
Yeah, I could.

Harry:
Lab grown meat.

Charlie:
Yeah, I don't. I don't know if I can. Yeah, but that's the whole thing, isn't it? You know, is that worth the money compared to dying people? Anyway, God, this is getting a bit depressing, isn't it? Can you think of an occasion where the right thing to do would be to lie rather than tell the truth?

Harry:
Yeah. I tell white lies all the time.

Charlie:
What's a white lie, Harry?

Harry:
It's a harmless little lie that you tell in order to avoid hurting someone's feelings, or, you know...

Charlie:
Getting caught from the law.

Harry:
No, that wouldn't be a white lie. That would be a black lie. A lie? Just a lie. Yeah, I white lie all the time. Not just when it suits myself. I just - When... Particularly when I know something would cause another person stress or anxiety. Often with my mum, I just. I just won't tell my mum things or. It happened with Marina when we were together. There were certain things. I knew that if I said it to her, she would just worry or get stressed. And so I was withholding information, which girls often call lying.

Charlie:
Just girls!

Harry:
That's a white lie.

Charlie:
Why just girls?

Harry:
Well, it seems like a... Well, would you call that lying? It just if you if you there's a little bit of information that you've not been asked about but you've decided not to tell someone. Is it lying?

Charlie:
I see. No. The classic saying is it's it's just withholding... It's withholding certain information deliberately.

Harry:
But no. If you if you've cheated on someone, that's lying. I'm not talking about that. That's that's not. I didn't cheat on Marina. That's not the thing.

Charlie:
Good. Let's get that in writing. In the transcript that you can buy everybody. Did you know that black lie is a thing? Were you just being funny with white lie, black lie? Or did you know that there were four colours of lying?

Harry:
I don't think I've. It's four colours? Oh right.

Charlie:
Grey lies, black lies, red lies and white lies. Grey lies are the untruths we might tell to help a friend. Or help ourselves out of trouble. Black lies the worst kind of lies. They are defined as callous, selfishness and malevolent. How do you say that word? Mal of.

Harry:
Malevolent.

Charlie:
Malevolent malevolence. Yeah. Thank you. Malevolence. What does malevolence mean?

Harry:
It's like the opposite of goodness. Benevolence.

Charlie:
Spite. Yeah. Hatred. Yeah. Okay. A red lie is reportedly about spite and revenge as well. These lies are driven by the motive to harm others. Oh, okay. Yeah, that makes sense. You're out to get somebody. A red lie. And a white lie we've just talked about. But as both of us didn't know about these, I wouldn't go around using these phrases, guys listening, you know, it's good to know about it. But don't assume that everybody knows what a grey lie is.

Harry:
So it wasn't it wasn't a red lie. It was a grey lie.

Charlie:
That...

Harry:
Chill out! It's only a grey lie.

Charlie:
That won't hold up in court.

Harry:
Sorry I stole the Mars bar, but, you know, it's just a little grey lie.

Charlie:
Right, that's all we've got time for. How are you going to spend the rest of your day? Harry.

Harry:
Teaching. I've got some one to ones. I've got a live lesson on Hello talk. I've got... Oh, and I'm going ask. I was supposed to be going for Foxy Wings tonight for my sister's boyfriend not husband's birthday, but he doesn't want to go there because he goes there too much. So we're going to go somewhere else and I'll try and get my hands on some chicken.

Charlie:
Good stuff. Let's hope they're lab grown one day. It'd be funny if after ten years and I'm saying this because I proposed to Stacey on the ninth slash 10th year. After ten years, you have to introduce each other as this is my boyfriend, not husband, or this is my girlfriend, not wife.

Harry:
Well, this is my life partner. My partner. Partner is good, isn't it? Partner?

Charlie:
Yeah, yeah, it is quite good. But as I've said before.

Harry:
Cos that could be... That, that's a bit of a grey area. Could be wife/husband. Could also just be...

Charlie:
Yeah, it could be a grey lie as well.

Harry:
What do you say? Do you say fiancee?

Charlie:
When I'm trying to be extravagant. No, but normally partner. Partner and then quick she or her.

Harry:
This is.

Charlie:
She. No, you know, this is my partner. She has.

Harry:
Yeah.

Charlie:
Yoga today or something. Where's your partner. Oh she's got yoga. She's doing yoga. Yeah. Just to confirm something.

Harry:
Oh, okay. I see. I sorry. I get it. Yeah, sorry. Yeah. Because it could. Yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah, I know what you mean.

Charlie:
But there we go. Thank you very much. Harry, can you just tell people about your your lives? Not your life.

Harry:
Yes, sure.

Charlie:
Your lives.

Harry:
I live three different lives, Harry, Harriet and Harris.

Charlie:
That'd be a good program, wouldn't it? The three faces of Hazel, Harry and Harriet.

Harry:
The Three Harry's.

Charlie:
The three Harries!

Harry:
Yeah, Two Ronnies, but rubbish. So I am working for a for an app at the moment. I'm doing live lessons on Hello Talk. It's a language exchange app and you can come on if you want to join in, you can watch me live. And there's normally hundreds of Chinese people mainly, but people from all over the world. And I can actually invite you onto the stage. So you come up and you you speak with me and we do, you know, fun conversation games and stuff and have a laugh for an hour and a hour and a bit. And I do that several times a week. So yeah, if you want to join, download hello talk and come and..

Charlie:
Very nice. Is it free or do they have to pay for a like a monthly membership for Hello talk?

Harry:
Free. Free.

Charlie:
It's free. Nice.

Harry:
There is a premium thing but no it's free.

Charlie:
Nice. Very good. Hello Talk.

Harry:
Also just it's good for language learning in general. It's a language exchange app and it's very easy to find exchange partners because it's like a social media platform. So it's similar to Tandem. But yeah, really good. I recommend it for you as well, Charlie. For your Spanish.

Charlie:
Yeah, perfect. Cool. All right. Thank you very much. Thank you very much for spending an hour with me. It's always delightful and yeah, well done for getting to the end of this podcast, Harry and the listeners. But yeah, we will see you next time on the British English podcast. My name is Charlie and the person sitting across from me digitally is Harry. Bye guys. Bye Harry.

Harry:
Bye.