Bitesize Episode 92 - Are the Stereotypes True? A Journey Through London's Boroughs

In this episode, host Charlie welcomes his longtime friend Matt to dive into the stereotypes surrounding London’s boroughs. From years living in and out of the city, Matt shares his unique perspective on the quirks, pros, and cons of various neighborhoods. Join them as they explore which stereotypes hold true and where they fall short, using insights from ChatGPT to fuel the discussion.
Nov 4 / Charlie Baxter

Transcript of Bitesize Ep 92 - Transcript

Charlie:
Hello and welcome to the British English Podcast with your host Charlie, helping you better understand British, English and British culture. And today I have Matthew Calvert, aka Matt aka Matthew. Matthew.

Matt:
Sure,

Charlie:
Sure,

Matt:
Sure.

Charlie:
Uh, from from my university days, who's lingered into my adulthood as a very, very good friend who has been living in London for many years and been abroad and then come back and then been able to understand the pros and cons of the city and been able to understand the stereotyping attached to certain boroughs. And that is what we're going to do today. We're going to talk about the stereotypes that ChatGPT has, um, created for us to comment on. Yeah. But first, hello, sir. How are you doing all right.

Matt:
Hello. Still lingering around. So that's good.

Charlie:
Thank you very much for coming on the show again.

Matt:
Mhm.

Charlie:
Thank you. Thank you.

Matt:
Very welcome.

Charlie:
Um what can we what can we, uh, talk about before we go into the stereotyping. Well, let's be honest. We've just had a barbecue. We're feeling quite full.

Matt:
It was delicious.

Charlie:
Thank you, thank you. My second barbecue of ever I was going to say of the year. But it's ever that's that's my second barbecue I've ever done.

Matt:
I mean, it was, I would say, a resounding success. Oh, great. Given it was your second one ever.

Charlie:
Yeah.

Matt:
But of course it had too many sausages and now I feel a bit full.

Charlie:
A bit full, bit full. Yes. Um, but the burgers were quite good. Burgers were amazing. Yeah. Any faults, any criticisms, any constructive feedback?

Matt:
No. I definitely wish that I'd put halloumi in mine from the beginning. When I saw my. I saw you doing it And I thought, well, that's a bloody good idea. Really good idea.

Charlie:
What did you think was going to happen to the halloumi? Was it part of the salad? In your opinion? Definitely.

Matt:
Yeah. I would say halloumi is predominantly a salad. Cheese.

Charlie:
Interesting.

Matt:
Like feta is a salad. Cheese.

Charlie:
Interesting.

Matt:
Not having a feta sandwich. Let's put it that way. It's always cheddar or Brie. Yeah, yeah. Maybe Stilton.

Charlie:
Well, see, I learned the hard way. I was barbecuing for a friend with a friend. I was a sous chef for my friend, and he said, yeah, just chop the tomatoes for me. I chopped them the wrong way.

Matt:
How did you chop them?

Charlie:
Like, do you chop them crossways for burgers? Yeah,

Matt:
Yeah, yeah,

Charlie:
I did the other way. Yeah, yeah. And then he was like, oh my God, you idiot. And then he was like, all right, just barbecue the halloumi for me. And I put them on the meat patty So, like on the barbecue.

Matt:
Like plastic cheese.

Charlie:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I did it like that.

Matt:
Yeah, yeah. Fair enough. Makes sense. Yeah. Still. Yeah. Not gonna work.

Charlie:
No and forevermore he would remind me of that. Mhm. Um, but from that point I thought, oh, halloumi equals burger. But you. Yeah. Salad.

Matt:
Yeah. I would say, to be fair to you, halloumi is a bloody hard cheese to do on a barbecue.

Charlie:
Okay.

Matt:
If that Barbie's too hot it's melting straight through the bars. Okay. And if it's too cold, you're just having rubbery cold halloumi. So it's definitely a sweet spot, I think, with the heat. Well, to make the. I've definitely screwed up halloumi on a barbecue before.

Charlie:
Oh, interesting. Because I did it perfectly.

Matt:
Yeah. As I said.

Charlie:
So let's leave the small talk there. Yeah. So. Neighbourhoods in London. Mhm. Uh, stereotyping. Shoreditch first. Um. Home to 40 year old hipsters who still think vinyl is the future. Now, in previous episodes, you've said that Shoreditch is no longer the coolest area, which kind of rings true to what ChatGPT has just said. 40 year old hipsters. So the hipster that was originally kind of making hipster kind of movement cool would have been 25 ish. So ten, 15 years on,

Matt:
I think it's probably about right. Yeah, I think the vinyl bit probably rings true for all hipsters still. I would say that you can you can take the vinyl out. No, it doesn't work. But vinyl is I think, pretty. Yeah. Try it. Go on. Uh, you can take the hipsters out of Shoreditch, but you can't take the vinyl out of hipsters.

Charlie:
I kind of, I like that, yeah, I think that. Yeah, yeah.

Matt:
It works. Yeah. I don't think it'll catch on.

Charlie:
No, Not like vinyl with hipsters. You take them hipster out of short. Is that what you said?

Matt:
The hipster out of Shoreditch? The hipster out of Shoreditch.

Charlie:
But can you,

Matt:
Um. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, they take themselves, don't they? You're not doing it.

Charlie:
Come on, mate.

Matt:
Come on,

Charlie:
Let's go. On the Victoria line. You like the Elizabeth line, don't you?

Matt:
Come on, let's go to Haggerston now. I don't want to go to Haggerston. They've got vinyl there. Okay. Yeah. Easy.

Charlie:
We've got craft beer. But still think vinyl is the future. I think everyone knows that it's the past, but they're just holding. They're kind of being cool going back to it. Yeah. So fault for ChatGPT, but still pretty much on the money. Next one, Notting Hill. People who have no idea how much a pint of milk costs.

Matt:
I think this is true.

Charlie:
That's really good.

Matt:
I think this is true. I think this is. I like that there's I like that ChatGPT is kind of linked this to our British politicians who famously don't know the price of a loaf of bread or a pint of milk or whatever. I think that's probably where they would live. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Charlie:
It's, uh, it's also a home to incredibly expensive supermarkets. Like, they're really bougie boutique kind of, um, delis that I went to actually a couple of weeks ago when Stacey's parents were in and yeah, I think a milk, I think a litre of milk was extortionate. I don't know how much because I don't know how much of a pint of milk is.

Matt:
Oh, there you go.

Charlie:
But it was a lot of money.

Matt:
So I think it's very true. I think this one is perfectly on the money. Yeah. Um, I would say there's. It's weird. I think I've always found it strange that Notting Hill Carnival kind of is in Notting Hill. Yes, because it's quite a, um. It's a very, like rich cultural festival. That doesn't really ring true with just loads of completely detached, loaded like middle class people.

Charlie:
Yeah, yeah, it's very, very, um, what's the word? Not juxtaposition. No.

Matt:
Yeah,

Charlie:
Yeah. Not quite.

Matt:
No

Charlie:
It's very far from the truth.

Matt:
True.

Charlie:
Maybe. Yeah. Um, I've just googled it. Notting Hill Carnival is held in Notting Hill because of the area's historical and cultural significance, particularly in relation to the Caribbean community in London. Um, after World War Two, many Caribbean immigrants, particularly from Jamaica, settled in Notting Hill.

Matt:
All right. Fair enough. Yeah, that makes sense it works there then? Yeah.

Charlie:
There we go. uh, okay. So maybe it should be people who have no idea how much a pint of cost. A pint of costs. Milk, a pint of milk cost. Or people who enjoy Notting Hill Carnival And, uh, have a big speaker in their window.

Matt:
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Notting Hill Carnival is central town when it comes to massive sound systems. Yeah, yeah.

Charlie:
Okay, Chelsea. Where people drink champagne for breakfast and consider it a cleanse.

Matt:
Yeah, again.

Charlie:
So we could just say rich. Rich. But it's not quite that. I think it's got a sort of subtle hint at something else there. Yeah. Which is quite clever of it. It is done AI.

Matt:
It's quite clever of it. It is. And what is that, do you think. It's the it's the wellness bit, isn't it. Cleanse is a wellness thing. Bullshit cleanses, by the way.

Charlie:
Really?

Matt:
Total bullshit.

Charlie:
Really? Really.

Matt:
What? What does, what does that mean? Cleanse? What? From you?

Charlie:
Well, are you meaning any cleanse?

Matt:
Yeah.

Charlie:
Like alcohol?

Matt:
Oh, well, not alcohol, but like cleanse what from your body? What are you cleansing? What are we getting rid of?

Charlie:
Toxins.

Matt:
Yeah, but your body does that anyway,

Charlie:
Right okay.

Matt:
Yeah i'm not, I think cleanse. I have no scientific literature that I can cite to say that that's a fact, but it's.

Charlie:
I mean, I think you're safe in saying that, um, drinking champagne for breakfast isn't a cleanse.

Matt:
Definitely not a cleanse. No. Um, it's. Yeah. I mean, it's lovely. Champagne for breakfast. Christmas day.

Charlie:
Christmas day.

Charlie:
Wedding. Oh, weddings is more lunch time, I feel like. Yeah. Christmas Day is the exception. I tend to have a bit of Bucks Fizz and a wedding on the first drink. I think.

Matt:
I go Bucks Fizz Christmas day.

Charlie:
Christmas day.

Matt:
Bucks fizz. Scrambled egg. Smoked salmon. Open your presents.

Charlie:
Eat your presents. Eat your presents. Uh, okay. That's Chelsea then. Any more to add to Chelsea? If you were to be the stereotyper.

Matt:
I mean, without being incredibly rude to people who enjoy Chelsea, it's very boring.

Charlie:
I didn't see that coming.

Matt:
It's very. It is. But like, being rich isn't a personality. Like it's so.

Charlie:
Oh, that's a really good comment, though.

Matt:
Yeah. It's just so vacant of authenticity and culture. And it's just it's just like wealth. Wealth is not. Yeah. It's not a personality or a it's very. Yeah. It's boring.

Charlie:
Okay, I like that I like that.

Matt:
Sorry people who live in Chelsea.

Charlie:
Uh, Camden is up next. Punks who refused to accept that the 70s ended.

Matt:
I think that's perfect..

Charlie:
Yeah, I thought that was quite, quite astute.

Matt:
I think I yeah, if you're going to come to London and you want to see some punks. The only place you can see them is in Camden.

Charlie:
Yeah, yeah. Leather jackets galore. Yeah.

Matt:
Spikes. yeah.

Charlie:
Tats

Matt:
Tats of Doc Martens. Hair. Yeah. Purple hair. Doc Martens. Doc Martens safety pins.

Charlie:
Oh I see. Where?

Matt:
Just as, like, clothing accessories.

Charlie:
Yeah. Okay. Badges. Like movement badges on a backpack.

Matt:
100%. And holes in clothes. Mhm. That's very punk.

Charlie:
Yes. It does overlap with Topman. It does. Or River Island now? Yeah. Topman.

Matt:
Is that rest in peace for Topman.

Charlie:
It was my left hand. It felt very unnatural. It was sort of zig zag.

Matt:
Yeah. What happened to Topman?

Charlie:
It went online to Asos, I think.

Matt:
Oh did it?

Charlie:
I think so, says my fashionista wife. Um, okay, so that's Camden. Yeah.

Matt:
Again? Yeah. Spot on.

Charlie:
Well done. Yeah. Brixton. Now. I haven't been to Brixton in a while. Creative souls and foodies all carrying reusable coffee cups.

Matt:
I don't think that is Brixton.

Charlie:
I thought Brixton the stereotype would be. Watch out you're going to get mugged.

Matt:
Yeah. Yeah, it's a it's a lot. Brixton.

Charlie:
And heavy music scene.

Matt:
Um, they do have some live music venues. It's. Brixton is fun, but you really have to be in the mood for it. It's quite hectic, especially on a Friday or a Saturday night.

Charlie:
Okay.

Matt:
It's pretty full-on. Yeah. Um, and it's.

Charlie:
And to compare it to like Clapham, which is also incredibly hectic on a Friday or Saturday night. But there's a very big difference. There is a big difference.

Matt:
That's true. What is that?

Charlie:
Is it just the demographic full of Aussies in Clapham?

Matt:
Very true.

Charlie:
On their gap year. And then in Brixton, it's it's Londoners.

Matt:
Yeah. I think, uh, yeah. Brixton is very Londoners. There's a lot of people who live in Brixton who've lived in Brixton a long time. Um, yeah. It's. I think Brixton. Brixton feels a lot more compact. It feels like it's spread over a smaller area. It feels. Yeah. It feels like there's a lot going on in a very small space. There is the Brixton O2 so there is a big live music venue there. Maybe that adds to it as well because people come out of that and there's obviously a big crowd. So yeah it's yeah it's quite full on. I wouldn't say it's um like reusable coffee cups.

Charlie:
No, no I would have. Where would you put reusable coffee cups on the map?

Matt:
Peak reusable coffee cups?

Yeah, is that like angel?

Matt:
Mhm. Maybe it's very, uh. Maybe somewhere in West as well. Maybe. Maybe Hampstead. Maybe would be more reusable coffee cups kind of area. Okay. Like you're kind of. Yeah. Like strong. Like kind of a champagne socialist. Labourites. Very Guardian reader. Yeah. I think that's maybe Hampstead.

Charlie:
Oh, okay. I just prompted ChatGPT to do Hampstead. Artists and intellectuals who can afford to live like aristocrats. Yeah. Yeah. They they would use reusable cups.

Matt:
Definitely. Definitely.

Charlie:
Okay. Um. So next one, Kensington, where children are tutored in Latin before they can walk.

Matt:
That is really witty.

Charlie:
That is witty.

Matt:
How have these AI, how have we got to like, large language models that are like, well, it's funny you ask that. And they've got a little quip.

Charlie:
Yeah, I know.

Matt:
Why?

Charlie:
I know they're, but they're sourcing the internet for this, aren't they? Like, it's all based on what's already been written, right?

Matt:
Right.

Charlie:
So somewhere along the lines, they found this combination of, oh, it'll be funny if we put these two things together.

Matt:
Right. Yeah. Maybe.

Charlie:
Spot on.

Matt:
Maybe prompting stereotype is likely to garner some funny.

Charlie:
Yes. That's true. Stereotype does exist around comedy. Mostly. So agree, disagree? Extension? Perfect?

Matt:
I would agree. Kensington for me is. Yeah, it's it's the most west London place. It's peak, west London. It's it's almost royalty. West London, isn't it.

Charlie:
Yes, yes. And mostly privately educated schools,

Matt:
I would say 100% privately educated schools.

Charlie:
And that's the joke. Tutored in Latin before they can walk. We don't really do Latin in British schooling systems. So yeah. Highly educated.

Matt:
Yeah, I would say I don't know if there is any public schools left in Kensington. Yeah.

Charlie:
Or state school. Sorry. State schools. Okay, Hackney. Vegan friendly hipsters who cycle everywhere and grow their own kale.

Matt:
Kale. Yeah. Fair enough. It could have been anything. But yeah, kale is the most hipster vegetable, isn't it?

Charlie:
Yeah. It's a very wellness kind of vegetable. Is it a vegetable?

Matt:
It is a vegetable. Yeah. I feel I feel like kale is the.

Charlie:
You got to massage a kale, haven't you. Otherwise it upsets the stomach.

Matt:
Kale. Do you?

Charlie:
I think so.

Matt:
No,

Charlie:
No, I think so.

Matt:
Google it.

Charlie:
I feel like, honestly. Yeah. Uh. It has. Okay. Why does kale need to be.

Matt:
A bloody good rub down.

Charlie:
Massaged before consuming? So you massage it with oil. Raw, raw kale can be tough and fibrous, making it difficult to chew. Uh, massaging it with oil helps to break down the tough cellular structure, making the leaves more tender and palatable by breaking down the cell walls through massaging. Kale becomes easier, easier to digest. This can be especially helpful for people who have difficulty digesting raw vegetables.

Matt:
I think if you've got a problem digesting raw vegetables, just cook your kale. I feel like giving it a good massage with oil. That's that is.

Charlie:
I've spent many a day, many a evening massaging. I actually.

Matt:
Don't bloody lie.

Charlie:
I don't even cook. But I was the sous chef a couple of times with the kale. Rubbing oil into it.

Matt:
Yeah. Is that too hard or. Yeah.

Charlie:
Can I get some feedback from you, kale?

Matt:
Is that. Are we good? Yeah. Okay, good. Um, yeah, I think kale. Kale is like the new avocado, isn't it? Yes. Pretty much yes.

Charlie:
So, Hackney, you mentioned earlier in a previous episode.

Charlie:
It's a cool place. Still cool in 2024, in your opinion? Vegan friendly hipsters. That's essentially. quote unquote. 'Cool'.

Matt:
Quote unquote.

Charlie:
Who cycle everywhere. Um, do they,

Matt:
Uh, maybe maybe that's a little off. Yeah.

Charlie:
Is that off? Hackney's not very cycle friendly.

Matt:
I don't think any of London is cycle friendly. Is it?

Charlie:
Interesting.

Matt:
Yeah. Mhm. It's quite terrifying cycling in London really in comparison to anywhere else. I mean, it's not as bad as it used to be but my god. Yeah.

Charlie:
The other day I was, um. I was surprised by how friendly a bus driver was to me coming into the road as a cyclist. I remember cycling in Santiago de Chile, and the bus drivers really felt like it was a game to just frighten me to death. So not great infrastructure, but still, maybe the mindset is not so evil. Mhm. Of everyone. But still a lot of London drivers really want to knock a cyclist off their bike.

Matt:
Yeah. It's really weird. It's really weird. It's so there's a lot of London. You're like, why are these roads like why has Oxford Street not been pedestrianised? I know that is amazing that it still shocks me that you can drive through London like the central part. Yeah.

Matt:
It's weird.

Charlie:
Uh, Clapham. You know Clapham very well. All too well. Full of young professionals who talk about their gap year in South America.

Matt:
Next. Yeah, yeah, that's very true, actually. Um, yeah.

Charlie:
I said earlier that it's full of Aussies, which it is. It is. Yeah. Our neighbours were Aussies. Big house of them. Oh, yeah.

Matt:
Oh, yeah.

Charlie:
Did you ever combine house parties?

Matt:
Uh, we went to a couple of their house parties. Nuts. Nuts. So many Aussies.

Charlie:
Is there a stereotype of Aussies in London? Like, what would you think of them?

Matt:
Um, they work behind the bar. They work behind a bar. If we're talking stereotypes here. Sorry. Australians?

Charlie:
No, that's. That's the whole point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Work behind a bar.

Matt:
Work behind the bar. Yeah. Get incredibly loose on Clapham Common and then go to that festival on Clapham Common.

Charlie:
Oh, yeah.

Matt:
Oh. Um, I'm thinking South by Southwest. But it's not that. It's something like that. Another little Google.

Charlie:
South West four festival.

Matt:
That's it. Yeah. SW4.

Charlie:
Um, so that was the technically that was the first, uh, festival I went to, but I didn't actually go inside. Okay. I went up as a 16 year old to try and sell a shit ton of those sort of, um, elastic band fling up in the air and then twizzle down with lights on them.

Matt:
Why?

Charlie:
The guy from my cricket club. Yeah. Was a complete Del Boy. Right. And he was like, I'm just going to hire two of these 16 year old kids from the club to come up with me and sell them outside of the gates and make a fortune. We got up there, we flung two up in the sky. We tried to sell to three people. And then, you know, the, like, bouncers with, uh. What's that word?

Matt:
Lanyard.

Charlie:
Lanyards came over and said, do you have a license? He said, no. They said, fuck off.

Matt:
And that was it?

Charlie:
That was it. So we got a McDonalds and went back home. So we drove all the way up to London for that, which was a two hour round trip.

Matt:
Wow. That's an afternoon well spent, isn't it? I mean, you didn't miss out very much. I mean,

Charlie:
Do you not like that festival?

Matt:
Who's headlining this year? Um, if it isn't disclosure?

Charlie:
Martin Garrix.

Matt:
Oh, dear.

Charlie:
Main stage. Yeah. Do you know that?

Matt:
I know of Martin Van Helden? We're not good mates. Van Helden,

Charlie:
Armin van van Helden,

Matt:
Armin van Helden. Yeah.

Charlie:
Uh, Marvin. Humes. Humas.

Matt:
no cant be with you that one. Yeah

Charlie:
Okay. So that's Clapham. Westminster. Tourists and politicians trying to avoid each other.

Matt:
These are good.

Charlie:
That is really accurate.

Matt:
These are good. Yeah, these are really, really good.

Charlie:
Politicians going about their day. Yeah. And tourists lapping up London.

Matt:
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think Westminster is, um, the epicentre for a London tourist. Yeah. You've got to see Big Ben. Yeah. If nothing else, you go in, Ben, you go in Tussauds and you go in dungeons. Those have got to be the top three sites.

Charlie:
What's the big church? Abbey. The abbey.

London Abbey.

Charlie:
The London Abbey.

Matt:
Westminster Abbey.

Charlie:
Westminster Abbey.

Matt:
London Abbey. Lovely. London Abbey. Which one? The one in London.

Charlie:
How's Abbey treating you? Um, yeah. So spot on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, let's do one more. Um, Richmond. Where the upper middle class go to feel like they're in the countryside.

Matt:
Oh, yeah. Yeah, these are bang on. Like, I wouldn't. I wouldn't change any of these. Richmond is lovely. Yeah, it is lovely, but it is sort of like going back to Dorset.

Charlie:
Oh, yes. Yes, I can see that for you.

Matt:
It even has like a little town centre bit to it. Yeah. But yeah. It's lovely. Great park.

Charlie:
It is a great park and you can walk around with wild deer just chilling out.

Matt:
Yeah. You can. Yeah.

Charlie:
And that's where the hilarious viral video, that was one of the first viral videos. I remember where the dog went, like running after the deer. And then the owner shouted out, Fenton! Yeah, Fenton! Fenton! Fenton! For about 15 times. Um, because the. Yeah, it was chasing after the deer.

Matt:
Yeah, yeah. That era of viral videos just feels kind of like the proto internet. Yes, that videos that were so rare.

Charlie:
Yeah, they were so rare. And it was really nice how I remember I would come over to your flat or your house in university, second year particularly, and we would share videos. We'd be like, have you seen this one?

Matt:
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Charlie:
And you'd watch it together and you'd laugh.

Matt:
You'd laugh. You'd seen it 16 times before, but you'd show someone else. They would laugh and you would laugh again. And now you have compilations of funny videos that stretch into the far horizon of time. I think you couldn't watch all of the funny videos and complete them, because they're just created and added at such a pace. Yeah, you'd never run out.

Charlie:
There's there's only so many times you can poo in a day. Yeah. And yeah, you can only watch 20 minutes tops. Yeah, yeah yeah.

Matt:
You couldn't you couldn't possibly beat it. You can't beat it. Yeah, yeah. Um, yeah. So, yeah, that felt like a very special time for a funny video, because if you got a good one,

Charlie:
It was.

Matt:
Like the Fenton one.

Charlie:
And somebody said, Ben, who's been on this podcast, he said, the internet killed the magic trick at a party when we were younger. I feel like that happened like somebody knew a trick and you'd be like, oh, I've never seen this before. But like, since the internet, everyone knows everything. Like, oh yeah, I know how to do that. And that's not really done now.

Matt:
I haven't seen a magic trick in years.

Speaker1:
Yeah, yeah. Is that because of the internet, do you think? Or is that because we're adults?

Matt:
Maybe because I don't have clowns coming to my birthdays anymore. Yeah, yeah,

Charlie:
But there was always that, like, that was a, like, card trick or something that, like, your dad's friend would like. Yeah. Like. Oh, have you seen this?

Matt:
Yeah. Did you ever see the pen through the hand one?

Charlie:
I think I did, but I can't remember how they did it.

Matt:
So that was a, um, I won't because I'll kind of move away. But it was a sort of doing this movement push pushing for those who are just catching this on audio, pushing the pen through the hand on the top and moving it, the pen with the hand back further and further, swiftly slotting the pen behind the hidden ear.

Charlie:
Oh yes, the ear.

Matt:
As you're sideways to somebody and then the pen disappears through the hand.

Charlie:
Ah yeah, that was it.

Matt:
I remember seeing that for the first time and just being like,

Charlie:
I remember having that done to me actually. Yeah. Yeah. That was good. Yeah. Right. Okay. We've come to the end of the list. So there we are, the stereotypes of the boroughs of London. Thank you very much, Matt, for taking part in this one.

Matt:
Lovely. Thank you Charlie.

Charlie:
All right. Well done guys. See you next time on the British English Podcast. Bye bye. Goodbye.

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What's this episode about?

In this episode, host Charlie welcomes his longtime friend Matt to dive into the stereotypes surrounding London’s boroughs. From years living in and out of the city, Matt shares his unique perspective on the quirks, pros, and cons of various neighborhoods. Join them as they explore which stereotypes hold true and where they fall short, using insights from ChatGPT to fuel the discussion.
Please note: This transcript is only visible to you as you are logged in as a Premium / Academy member. Thank you for your support.

Transcript of Bitesize Ep 92 - Transcript

Charlie:
Hello and welcome to the British English Podcast with your host Charlie, helping you better understand British, English and British culture. And today I have Matthew Calvert, aka Matt aka Matthew. Matthew.

Matt:
Sure,

Charlie:
Sure,

Matt:
Sure.

Charlie:
Uh, from from my university days, who's lingered into my adulthood as a very, very good friend who has been living in London for many years and been abroad and then come back and then been able to understand the pros and cons of the city and been able to understand the stereotyping attached to certain boroughs. And that is what we're going to do today. We're going to talk about the stereotypes that ChatGPT has, um, created for us to comment on. Yeah. But first, hello, sir. How are you doing all right.

Matt:
Hello. Still lingering around. So that's good.

Charlie:
Thank you very much for coming on the show again.

Matt:
Mhm.

Charlie:
Thank you. Thank you.

Matt:
Very welcome.

Charlie:
Um what can we what can we, uh, talk about before we go into the stereotyping. Well, let's be honest. We've just had a barbecue. We're feeling quite full.

Matt:
It was delicious.

Charlie:
Thank you, thank you. My second barbecue of ever I was going to say of the year. But it's ever that's that's my second barbecue I've ever done.

Matt:
I mean, it was, I would say, a resounding success. Oh, great. Given it was your second one ever.

Charlie:
Yeah.

Matt:
But of course it had too many sausages and now I feel a bit full.

Charlie:
A bit full, bit full. Yes. Um, but the burgers were quite good. Burgers were amazing. Yeah. Any faults, any criticisms, any constructive feedback?

Matt:
No. I definitely wish that I'd put halloumi in mine from the beginning. When I saw my. I saw you doing it And I thought, well, that's a bloody good idea. Really good idea.

Charlie:
What did you think was going to happen to the halloumi? Was it part of the salad? In your opinion? Definitely.

Matt:
Yeah. I would say halloumi is predominantly a salad. Cheese.

Charlie:
Interesting.

Matt:
Like feta is a salad. Cheese.

Charlie:
Interesting.

Matt:
Not having a feta sandwich. Let's put it that way. It's always cheddar or Brie. Yeah, yeah. Maybe Stilton.

Charlie:
Well, see, I learned the hard way. I was barbecuing for a friend with a friend. I was a sous chef for my friend, and he said, yeah, just chop the tomatoes for me. I chopped them the wrong way.

Matt:
How did you chop them?

Charlie:
Like, do you chop them crossways for burgers? Yeah,

Matt:
Yeah, yeah,

Charlie:
I did the other way. Yeah, yeah. And then he was like, oh my God, you idiot. And then he was like, all right, just barbecue the halloumi for me. And I put them on the meat patty So, like on the barbecue.

Matt:
Like plastic cheese.

Charlie:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I did it like that.

Matt:
Yeah, yeah. Fair enough. Makes sense. Yeah. Still. Yeah. Not gonna work.

Charlie:
No and forevermore he would remind me of that. Mhm. Um, but from that point I thought, oh, halloumi equals burger. But you. Yeah. Salad.

Matt:
Yeah. I would say, to be fair to you, halloumi is a bloody hard cheese to do on a barbecue.

Charlie:
Okay.

Matt:
If that Barbie's too hot it's melting straight through the bars. Okay. And if it's too cold, you're just having rubbery cold halloumi. So it's definitely a sweet spot, I think, with the heat. Well, to make the. I've definitely screwed up halloumi on a barbecue before.

Charlie:
Oh, interesting. Because I did it perfectly.

Matt:
Yeah. As I said.

Charlie:
So let's leave the small talk there. Yeah. So. Neighbourhoods in London. Mhm. Uh, stereotyping. Shoreditch first. Um. Home to 40 year old hipsters who still think vinyl is the future. Now, in previous episodes, you've said that Shoreditch is no longer the coolest area, which kind of rings true to what ChatGPT has just said. 40 year old hipsters. So the hipster that was originally kind of making hipster kind of movement cool would have been 25 ish. So ten, 15 years on,

Matt:
I think it's probably about right. Yeah, I think the vinyl bit probably rings true for all hipsters still. I would say that you can you can take the vinyl out. No, it doesn't work. But vinyl is I think, pretty. Yeah. Try it. Go on. Uh, you can take the hipsters out of Shoreditch, but you can't take the vinyl out of hipsters.

Charlie:
I kind of, I like that, yeah, I think that. Yeah, yeah.

Matt:
It works. Yeah. I don't think it'll catch on.

Charlie:
No, Not like vinyl with hipsters. You take them hipster out of short. Is that what you said?

Matt:
The hipster out of Shoreditch? The hipster out of Shoreditch.

Charlie:
But can you,

Matt:
Um. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, they take themselves, don't they? You're not doing it.

Charlie:
Come on, mate.

Matt:
Come on,

Charlie:
Let's go. On the Victoria line. You like the Elizabeth line, don't you?

Matt:
Come on, let's go to Haggerston now. I don't want to go to Haggerston. They've got vinyl there. Okay. Yeah. Easy.

Charlie:
We've got craft beer. But still think vinyl is the future. I think everyone knows that it's the past, but they're just holding. They're kind of being cool going back to it. Yeah. So fault for ChatGPT, but still pretty much on the money. Next one, Notting Hill. People who have no idea how much a pint of milk costs.

Matt:
I think this is true.

Charlie:
That's really good.

Matt:
I think this is true. I think this is. I like that there's I like that ChatGPT is kind of linked this to our British politicians who famously don't know the price of a loaf of bread or a pint of milk or whatever. I think that's probably where they would live. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Charlie:
It's, uh, it's also a home to incredibly expensive supermarkets. Like, they're really bougie boutique kind of, um, delis that I went to actually a couple of weeks ago when Stacey's parents were in and yeah, I think a milk, I think a litre of milk was extortionate. I don't know how much because I don't know how much of a pint of milk is.

Matt:
Oh, there you go.

Charlie:
But it was a lot of money.

Matt:
So I think it's very true. I think this one is perfectly on the money. Yeah. Um, I would say there's. It's weird. I think I've always found it strange that Notting Hill Carnival kind of is in Notting Hill. Yes, because it's quite a, um. It's a very, like rich cultural festival. That doesn't really ring true with just loads of completely detached, loaded like middle class people.

Charlie:
Yeah, yeah, it's very, very, um, what's the word? Not juxtaposition. No.

Matt:
Yeah,

Charlie:
Yeah. Not quite.

Matt:
No

Charlie:
It's very far from the truth.

Matt:
True.

Charlie:
Maybe. Yeah. Um, I've just googled it. Notting Hill Carnival is held in Notting Hill because of the area's historical and cultural significance, particularly in relation to the Caribbean community in London. Um, after World War Two, many Caribbean immigrants, particularly from Jamaica, settled in Notting Hill.

Matt:
All right. Fair enough. Yeah, that makes sense it works there then? Yeah.

Charlie:
There we go. uh, okay. So maybe it should be people who have no idea how much a pint of cost. A pint of costs. Milk, a pint of milk cost. Or people who enjoy Notting Hill Carnival And, uh, have a big speaker in their window.

Matt:
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Notting Hill Carnival is central town when it comes to massive sound systems. Yeah, yeah.

Charlie:
Okay, Chelsea. Where people drink champagne for breakfast and consider it a cleanse.

Matt:
Yeah, again.

Charlie:
So we could just say rich. Rich. But it's not quite that. I think it's got a sort of subtle hint at something else there. Yeah. Which is quite clever of it. It is done AI.

Matt:
It's quite clever of it. It is. And what is that, do you think. It's the it's the wellness bit, isn't it. Cleanse is a wellness thing. Bullshit cleanses, by the way.

Charlie:
Really?

Matt:
Total bullshit.

Charlie:
Really? Really.

Matt:
What? What does, what does that mean? Cleanse? What? From you?

Charlie:
Well, are you meaning any cleanse?

Matt:
Yeah.

Charlie:
Like alcohol?

Matt:
Oh, well, not alcohol, but like cleanse what from your body? What are you cleansing? What are we getting rid of?

Charlie:
Toxins.

Matt:
Yeah, but your body does that anyway,

Charlie:
Right okay.

Matt:
Yeah i'm not, I think cleanse. I have no scientific literature that I can cite to say that that's a fact, but it's.

Charlie:
I mean, I think you're safe in saying that, um, drinking champagne for breakfast isn't a cleanse.

Matt:
Definitely not a cleanse. No. Um, it's. Yeah. I mean, it's lovely. Champagne for breakfast. Christmas day.

Charlie:
Christmas day.

Charlie:
Wedding. Oh, weddings is more lunch time, I feel like. Yeah. Christmas Day is the exception. I tend to have a bit of Bucks Fizz and a wedding on the first drink. I think.

Matt:
I go Bucks Fizz Christmas day.

Charlie:
Christmas day.

Matt:
Bucks fizz. Scrambled egg. Smoked salmon. Open your presents.

Charlie:
Eat your presents. Eat your presents. Uh, okay. That's Chelsea then. Any more to add to Chelsea? If you were to be the stereotyper.

Matt:
I mean, without being incredibly rude to people who enjoy Chelsea, it's very boring.

Charlie:
I didn't see that coming.

Matt:
It's very. It is. But like, being rich isn't a personality. Like it's so.

Charlie:
Oh, that's a really good comment, though.

Matt:
Yeah. It's just so vacant of authenticity and culture. And it's just it's just like wealth. Wealth is not. Yeah. It's not a personality or a it's very. Yeah. It's boring.

Charlie:
Okay, I like that I like that.

Matt:
Sorry people who live in Chelsea.

Charlie:
Uh, Camden is up next. Punks who refused to accept that the 70s ended.

Matt:
I think that's perfect..

Charlie:
Yeah, I thought that was quite, quite astute.

Matt:
I think I yeah, if you're going to come to London and you want to see some punks. The only place you can see them is in Camden.

Charlie:
Yeah, yeah. Leather jackets galore. Yeah.

Matt:
Spikes. yeah.

Charlie:
Tats

Matt:
Tats of Doc Martens. Hair. Yeah. Purple hair. Doc Martens. Doc Martens safety pins.

Charlie:
Oh I see. Where?

Matt:
Just as, like, clothing accessories.

Charlie:
Yeah. Okay. Badges. Like movement badges on a backpack.

Matt:
100%. And holes in clothes. Mhm. That's very punk.

Charlie:
Yes. It does overlap with Topman. It does. Or River Island now? Yeah. Topman.

Matt:
Is that rest in peace for Topman.

Charlie:
It was my left hand. It felt very unnatural. It was sort of zig zag.

Matt:
Yeah. What happened to Topman?

Charlie:
It went online to Asos, I think.

Matt:
Oh did it?

Charlie:
I think so, says my fashionista wife. Um, okay, so that's Camden. Yeah.

Matt:
Again? Yeah. Spot on.

Charlie:
Well done. Yeah. Brixton. Now. I haven't been to Brixton in a while. Creative souls and foodies all carrying reusable coffee cups.

Matt:
I don't think that is Brixton.

Charlie:
I thought Brixton the stereotype would be. Watch out you're going to get mugged.

Matt:
Yeah. Yeah, it's a it's a lot. Brixton.

Charlie:
And heavy music scene.

Matt:
Um, they do have some live music venues. It's. Brixton is fun, but you really have to be in the mood for it. It's quite hectic, especially on a Friday or a Saturday night.

Charlie:
Okay.

Matt:
It's pretty full-on. Yeah. Um, and it's.

Charlie:
And to compare it to like Clapham, which is also incredibly hectic on a Friday or Saturday night. But there's a very big difference. There is a big difference.

Matt:
That's true. What is that?

Charlie:
Is it just the demographic full of Aussies in Clapham?

Matt:
Very true.

Charlie:
On their gap year. And then in Brixton, it's it's Londoners.

Matt:
Yeah. I think, uh, yeah. Brixton is very Londoners. There's a lot of people who live in Brixton who've lived in Brixton a long time. Um, yeah. It's. I think Brixton. Brixton feels a lot more compact. It feels like it's spread over a smaller area. It feels. Yeah. It feels like there's a lot going on in a very small space. There is the Brixton O2 so there is a big live music venue there. Maybe that adds to it as well because people come out of that and there's obviously a big crowd. So yeah it's yeah it's quite full on. I wouldn't say it's um like reusable coffee cups.

Charlie:
No, no I would have. Where would you put reusable coffee cups on the map?

Matt:
Peak reusable coffee cups?

Yeah, is that like angel?

Matt:
Mhm. Maybe it's very, uh. Maybe somewhere in West as well. Maybe. Maybe Hampstead. Maybe would be more reusable coffee cups kind of area. Okay. Like you're kind of. Yeah. Like strong. Like kind of a champagne socialist. Labourites. Very Guardian reader. Yeah. I think that's maybe Hampstead.

Charlie:
Oh, okay. I just prompted ChatGPT to do Hampstead. Artists and intellectuals who can afford to live like aristocrats. Yeah. Yeah. They they would use reusable cups.

Matt:
Definitely. Definitely.

Charlie:
Okay. Um. So next one, Kensington, where children are tutored in Latin before they can walk.

Matt:
That is really witty.

Charlie:
That is witty.

Matt:
How have these AI, how have we got to like, large language models that are like, well, it's funny you ask that. And they've got a little quip.

Charlie:
Yeah, I know.

Matt:
Why?

Charlie:
I know they're, but they're sourcing the internet for this, aren't they? Like, it's all based on what's already been written, right?

Matt:
Right.

Charlie:
So somewhere along the lines, they found this combination of, oh, it'll be funny if we put these two things together.

Matt:
Right. Yeah. Maybe.

Charlie:
Spot on.

Matt:
Maybe prompting stereotype is likely to garner some funny.

Charlie:
Yes. That's true. Stereotype does exist around comedy. Mostly. So agree, disagree? Extension? Perfect?

Matt:
I would agree. Kensington for me is. Yeah, it's it's the most west London place. It's peak, west London. It's it's almost royalty. West London, isn't it.

Charlie:
Yes, yes. And mostly privately educated schools,

Matt:
I would say 100% privately educated schools.

Charlie:
And that's the joke. Tutored in Latin before they can walk. We don't really do Latin in British schooling systems. So yeah. Highly educated.

Matt:
Yeah, I would say I don't know if there is any public schools left in Kensington. Yeah.

Charlie:
Or state school. Sorry. State schools. Okay, Hackney. Vegan friendly hipsters who cycle everywhere and grow their own kale.

Matt:
Kale. Yeah. Fair enough. It could have been anything. But yeah, kale is the most hipster vegetable, isn't it?

Charlie:
Yeah. It's a very wellness kind of vegetable. Is it a vegetable?

Matt:
It is a vegetable. Yeah. I feel I feel like kale is the.

Charlie:
You got to massage a kale, haven't you. Otherwise it upsets the stomach.

Matt:
Kale. Do you?

Charlie:
I think so.

Matt:
No,

Charlie:
No, I think so.

Matt:
Google it.

Charlie:
I feel like, honestly. Yeah. Uh. It has. Okay. Why does kale need to be.

Matt:
A bloody good rub down.

Charlie:
Massaged before consuming? So you massage it with oil. Raw, raw kale can be tough and fibrous, making it difficult to chew. Uh, massaging it with oil helps to break down the tough cellular structure, making the leaves more tender and palatable by breaking down the cell walls through massaging. Kale becomes easier, easier to digest. This can be especially helpful for people who have difficulty digesting raw vegetables.

Matt:
I think if you've got a problem digesting raw vegetables, just cook your kale. I feel like giving it a good massage with oil. That's that is.

Charlie:
I've spent many a day, many a evening massaging. I actually.

Matt:
Don't bloody lie.

Charlie:
I don't even cook. But I was the sous chef a couple of times with the kale. Rubbing oil into it.

Matt:
Yeah. Is that too hard or. Yeah.

Charlie:
Can I get some feedback from you, kale?

Matt:
Is that. Are we good? Yeah. Okay, good. Um, yeah, I think kale. Kale is like the new avocado, isn't it? Yes. Pretty much yes.

Charlie:
So, Hackney, you mentioned earlier in a previous episode.

Charlie:
It's a cool place. Still cool in 2024, in your opinion? Vegan friendly hipsters. That's essentially. quote unquote. 'Cool'.

Matt:
Quote unquote.

Charlie:
Who cycle everywhere. Um, do they,

Matt:
Uh, maybe maybe that's a little off. Yeah.

Charlie:
Is that off? Hackney's not very cycle friendly.

Matt:
I don't think any of London is cycle friendly. Is it?

Charlie:
Interesting.

Matt:
Yeah. Mhm. It's quite terrifying cycling in London really in comparison to anywhere else. I mean, it's not as bad as it used to be but my god. Yeah.

Charlie:
The other day I was, um. I was surprised by how friendly a bus driver was to me coming into the road as a cyclist. I remember cycling in Santiago de Chile, and the bus drivers really felt like it was a game to just frighten me to death. So not great infrastructure, but still, maybe the mindset is not so evil. Mhm. Of everyone. But still a lot of London drivers really want to knock a cyclist off their bike.

Matt:
Yeah. It's really weird. It's really weird. It's so there's a lot of London. You're like, why are these roads like why has Oxford Street not been pedestrianised? I know that is amazing that it still shocks me that you can drive through London like the central part. Yeah.

Matt:
It's weird.

Charlie:
Uh, Clapham. You know Clapham very well. All too well. Full of young professionals who talk about their gap year in South America.

Matt:
Next. Yeah, yeah, that's very true, actually. Um, yeah.

Charlie:
I said earlier that it's full of Aussies, which it is. It is. Yeah. Our neighbours were Aussies. Big house of them. Oh, yeah.

Matt:
Oh, yeah.

Charlie:
Did you ever combine house parties?

Matt:
Uh, we went to a couple of their house parties. Nuts. Nuts. So many Aussies.

Charlie:
Is there a stereotype of Aussies in London? Like, what would you think of them?

Matt:
Um, they work behind the bar. They work behind a bar. If we're talking stereotypes here. Sorry. Australians?

Charlie:
No, that's. That's the whole point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Work behind a bar.

Matt:
Work behind the bar. Yeah. Get incredibly loose on Clapham Common and then go to that festival on Clapham Common.

Charlie:
Oh, yeah.

Matt:
Oh. Um, I'm thinking South by Southwest. But it's not that. It's something like that. Another little Google.

Charlie:
South West four festival.

Matt:
That's it. Yeah. SW4.

Charlie:
Um, so that was the technically that was the first, uh, festival I went to, but I didn't actually go inside. Okay. I went up as a 16 year old to try and sell a shit ton of those sort of, um, elastic band fling up in the air and then twizzle down with lights on them.

Matt:
Why?

Charlie:
The guy from my cricket club. Yeah. Was a complete Del Boy. Right. And he was like, I'm just going to hire two of these 16 year old kids from the club to come up with me and sell them outside of the gates and make a fortune. We got up there, we flung two up in the sky. We tried to sell to three people. And then, you know, the, like, bouncers with, uh. What's that word?

Matt:
Lanyard.

Charlie:
Lanyards came over and said, do you have a license? He said, no. They said, fuck off.

Matt:
And that was it?

Charlie:
That was it. So we got a McDonalds and went back home. So we drove all the way up to London for that, which was a two hour round trip.

Matt:
Wow. That's an afternoon well spent, isn't it? I mean, you didn't miss out very much. I mean,

Charlie:
Do you not like that festival?

Matt:
Who's headlining this year? Um, if it isn't disclosure?

Charlie:
Martin Garrix.

Matt:
Oh, dear.

Charlie:
Main stage. Yeah. Do you know that?

Matt:
I know of Martin Van Helden? We're not good mates. Van Helden,

Charlie:
Armin van van Helden,

Matt:
Armin van Helden. Yeah.

Charlie:
Uh, Marvin. Humes. Humas.

Matt:
no cant be with you that one. Yeah

Charlie:
Okay. So that's Clapham. Westminster. Tourists and politicians trying to avoid each other.

Matt:
These are good.

Charlie:
That is really accurate.

Matt:
These are good. Yeah, these are really, really good.

Charlie:
Politicians going about their day. Yeah. And tourists lapping up London.

Matt:
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think Westminster is, um, the epicentre for a London tourist. Yeah. You've got to see Big Ben. Yeah. If nothing else, you go in, Ben, you go in Tussauds and you go in dungeons. Those have got to be the top three sites.

Charlie:
What's the big church? Abbey. The abbey.

London Abbey.

Charlie:
The London Abbey.

Matt:
Westminster Abbey.

Charlie:
Westminster Abbey.

Matt:
London Abbey. Lovely. London Abbey. Which one? The one in London.

Charlie:
How's Abbey treating you? Um, yeah. So spot on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, let's do one more. Um, Richmond. Where the upper middle class go to feel like they're in the countryside.

Matt:
Oh, yeah. Yeah, these are bang on. Like, I wouldn't. I wouldn't change any of these. Richmond is lovely. Yeah, it is lovely, but it is sort of like going back to Dorset.

Charlie:
Oh, yes. Yes, I can see that for you.

Matt:
It even has like a little town centre bit to it. Yeah. But yeah. It's lovely. Great park.

Charlie:
It is a great park and you can walk around with wild deer just chilling out.

Matt:
Yeah. You can. Yeah.

Charlie:
And that's where the hilarious viral video, that was one of the first viral videos. I remember where the dog went, like running after the deer. And then the owner shouted out, Fenton! Yeah, Fenton! Fenton! Fenton! For about 15 times. Um, because the. Yeah, it was chasing after the deer.

Matt:
Yeah, yeah. That era of viral videos just feels kind of like the proto internet. Yes, that videos that were so rare.

Charlie:
Yeah, they were so rare. And it was really nice how I remember I would come over to your flat or your house in university, second year particularly, and we would share videos. We'd be like, have you seen this one?

Matt:
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Charlie:
And you'd watch it together and you'd laugh.

Matt:
You'd laugh. You'd seen it 16 times before, but you'd show someone else. They would laugh and you would laugh again. And now you have compilations of funny videos that stretch into the far horizon of time. I think you couldn't watch all of the funny videos and complete them, because they're just created and added at such a pace. Yeah, you'd never run out.

Charlie:
There's there's only so many times you can poo in a day. Yeah. And yeah, you can only watch 20 minutes tops. Yeah, yeah yeah.

Matt:
You couldn't you couldn't possibly beat it. You can't beat it. Yeah, yeah. Um, yeah. So, yeah, that felt like a very special time for a funny video, because if you got a good one,

Charlie:
It was.

Matt:
Like the Fenton one.

Charlie:
And somebody said, Ben, who's been on this podcast, he said, the internet killed the magic trick at a party when we were younger. I feel like that happened like somebody knew a trick and you'd be like, oh, I've never seen this before. But like, since the internet, everyone knows everything. Like, oh yeah, I know how to do that. And that's not really done now.

Matt:
I haven't seen a magic trick in years.

Speaker1:
Yeah, yeah. Is that because of the internet, do you think? Or is that because we're adults?

Matt:
Maybe because I don't have clowns coming to my birthdays anymore. Yeah, yeah,

Charlie:
But there was always that, like, that was a, like, card trick or something that, like, your dad's friend would like. Yeah. Like. Oh, have you seen this?

Matt:
Yeah. Did you ever see the pen through the hand one?

Charlie:
I think I did, but I can't remember how they did it.

Matt:
So that was a, um, I won't because I'll kind of move away. But it was a sort of doing this movement push pushing for those who are just catching this on audio, pushing the pen through the hand on the top and moving it, the pen with the hand back further and further, swiftly slotting the pen behind the hidden ear.

Charlie:
Oh yes, the ear.

Matt:
As you're sideways to somebody and then the pen disappears through the hand.

Charlie:
Ah yeah, that was it.

Matt:
I remember seeing that for the first time and just being like,

Charlie:
I remember having that done to me actually. Yeah. Yeah. That was good. Yeah. Right. Okay. We've come to the end of the list. So there we are, the stereotypes of the boroughs of London. Thank you very much, Matt, for taking part in this one.

Matt:
Lovely. Thank you Charlie.

Charlie:
All right. Well done guys. See you next time on the British English Podcast. Bye bye. Goodbye.

Transcript of Bitesize Ep 92 - Transcript

Charlie:
Hello and welcome to the British English Podcast with your host Charlie, helping you better understand British, English and British culture. And today I have Matthew Calvert, aka Matt aka Matthew. Matthew.

Matt:
Sure,

Charlie:
Sure,

Matt:
Sure.

Charlie:
Uh, from from my university days, who's lingered into my adulthood as a very, very good friend who has been living in London for many years and been abroad and then come back and then been able to understand the pros and cons of the city and been able to understand the stereotyping attached to certain boroughs. And that is what we're going to do today. We're going to talk about the stereotypes that ChatGPT has, um, created for us to comment on. Yeah. But first, hello, sir. How are you doing all right.

Matt:
Hello. Still lingering around. So that's good.

Charlie:
Thank you very much for coming on the show again.

Matt:
Mhm.

Charlie:
Thank you. Thank you.

Matt:
Very welcome.

Charlie:
Um what can we what can we, uh, talk about before we go into the stereotyping. Well, let's be honest. We've just had a barbecue. We're feeling quite full.

Matt:
It was delicious.

Charlie:
Thank you, thank you. My second barbecue of ever I was going to say of the year. But it's ever that's that's my second barbecue I've ever done.

Matt:
I mean, it was, I would say, a resounding success. Oh, great. Given it was your second one ever.

Charlie:
Yeah.

Matt:
But of course it had too many sausages and now I feel a bit full.

Charlie:
A bit full, bit full. Yes. Um, but the burgers were quite good. Burgers were amazing. Yeah. Any faults, any criticisms, any constructive feedback?

Matt:
No. I definitely wish that I'd put halloumi in mine from the beginning. When I saw my. I saw you doing it And I thought, well, that's a bloody good idea. Really good idea.

Charlie:
What did you think was going to happen to the halloumi? Was it part of the salad? In your opinion? Definitely.

Matt:
Yeah. I would say halloumi is predominantly a salad. Cheese.

Charlie:
Interesting.

Matt:
Like feta is a salad. Cheese.

Charlie:
Interesting.

Matt:
Not having a feta sandwich. Let's put it that way. It's always cheddar or Brie. Yeah, yeah. Maybe Stilton.

Charlie:
Well, see, I learned the hard way. I was barbecuing for a friend with a friend. I was a sous chef for my friend, and he said, yeah, just chop the tomatoes for me. I chopped them the wrong way.

Matt:
How did you chop them?

Charlie:
Like, do you chop them crossways for burgers? Yeah,

Matt:
Yeah, yeah,

Charlie:
I did the other way. Yeah, yeah. And then he was like, oh my God, you idiot. And then he was like, all right, just barbecue the halloumi for me. And I put them on the meat patty So, like on the barbecue.

Matt:
Like plastic cheese.

Charlie:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I did it like that.

Matt:
Yeah, yeah. Fair enough. Makes sense. Yeah. Still. Yeah. Not gonna work.

Charlie:
No and forevermore he would remind me of that. Mhm. Um, but from that point I thought, oh, halloumi equals burger. But you. Yeah. Salad.

Matt:
Yeah. I would say, to be fair to you, halloumi is a bloody hard cheese to do on a barbecue.

Charlie:
Okay.

Matt:
If that Barbie's too hot it's melting straight through the bars. Okay. And if it's too cold, you're just having rubbery cold halloumi. So it's definitely a sweet spot, I think, with the heat. Well, to make the. I've definitely screwed up halloumi on a barbecue before.

Charlie:
Oh, interesting. Because I did it perfectly.

Matt:
Yeah. As I said.

Charlie:
So let's leave the small talk there. Yeah. So. Neighbourhoods in London. Mhm. Uh, stereotyping. Shoreditch first. Um. Home to 40 year old hipsters who still think vinyl is the future. Now, in previous episodes, you've said that Shoreditch is no longer the coolest area, which kind of rings true to what ChatGPT has just said. 40 year old hipsters. So the hipster that was originally kind of making hipster kind of movement cool would have been 25 ish. So ten, 15 years on,

Matt:
I think it's probably about right. Yeah, I think the vinyl bit probably rings true for all hipsters still. I would say that you can you can take the vinyl out. No, it doesn't work. But vinyl is I think, pretty. Yeah. Try it. Go on. Uh, you can take the hipsters out of Shoreditch, but you can't take the vinyl out of hipsters.

Charlie:
I kind of, I like that, yeah, I think that. Yeah, yeah.

Matt:
It works. Yeah. I don't think it'll catch on.

Charlie:
No, Not like vinyl with hipsters. You take them hipster out of short. Is that what you said?

Matt:
The hipster out of Shoreditch? The hipster out of Shoreditch.

Charlie:
But can you,

Matt:
Um. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, they take themselves, don't they? You're not doing it.

Charlie:
Come on, mate.

Matt:
Come on,

Charlie:
Let's go. On the Victoria line. You like the Elizabeth line, don't you?

Matt:
Come on, let's go to Haggerston now. I don't want to go to Haggerston. They've got vinyl there. Okay. Yeah. Easy.

Charlie:
We've got craft beer. But still think vinyl is the future. I think everyone knows that it's the past, but they're just holding. They're kind of being cool going back to it. Yeah. So fault for ChatGPT, but still pretty much on the money. Next one, Notting Hill. People who have no idea how much a pint of milk costs.

Matt:
I think this is true.

Charlie:
That's really good.

Matt:
I think this is true. I think this is. I like that there's I like that ChatGPT is kind of linked this to our British politicians who famously don't know the price of a loaf of bread or a pint of milk or whatever. I think that's probably where they would live. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Charlie:
It's, uh, it's also a home to incredibly expensive supermarkets. Like, they're really bougie boutique kind of, um, delis that I went to actually a couple of weeks ago when Stacey's parents were in and yeah, I think a milk, I think a litre of milk was extortionate. I don't know how much because I don't know how much of a pint of milk is.

Matt:
Oh, there you go.

Charlie:
But it was a lot of money.

Matt:
So I think it's very true. I think this one is perfectly on the money. Yeah. Um, I would say there's. It's weird. I think I've always found it strange that Notting Hill Carnival kind of is in Notting Hill. Yes, because it's quite a, um. It's a very, like rich cultural festival. That doesn't really ring true with just loads of completely detached, loaded like middle class people.

Charlie:
Yeah, yeah, it's very, very, um, what's the word? Not juxtaposition. No.

Matt:
Yeah,

Charlie:
Yeah. Not quite.

Matt:
No

Charlie:
It's very far from the truth.

Matt:
True.

Charlie:
Maybe. Yeah. Um, I've just googled it. Notting Hill Carnival is held in Notting Hill because of the area's historical and cultural significance, particularly in relation to the Caribbean community in London. Um, after World War Two, many Caribbean immigrants, particularly from Jamaica, settled in Notting Hill.

Matt:
All right. Fair enough. Yeah, that makes sense it works there then? Yeah.

Charlie:
There we go. uh, okay. So maybe it should be people who have no idea how much a pint of cost. A pint of costs. Milk, a pint of milk cost. Or people who enjoy Notting Hill Carnival And, uh, have a big speaker in their window.

Matt:
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Notting Hill Carnival is central town when it comes to massive sound systems. Yeah, yeah.

Charlie:
Okay, Chelsea. Where people drink champagne for breakfast and consider it a cleanse.

Matt:
Yeah, again.

Charlie:
So we could just say rich. Rich. But it's not quite that. I think it's got a sort of subtle hint at something else there. Yeah. Which is quite clever of it. It is done AI.

Matt:
It's quite clever of it. It is. And what is that, do you think. It's the it's the wellness bit, isn't it. Cleanse is a wellness thing. Bullshit cleanses, by the way.

Charlie:
Really?

Matt:
Total bullshit.

Charlie:
Really? Really.

Matt:
What? What does, what does that mean? Cleanse? What? From you?

Charlie:
Well, are you meaning any cleanse?

Matt:
Yeah.

Charlie:
Like alcohol?

Matt:
Oh, well, not alcohol, but like cleanse what from your body? What are you cleansing? What are we getting rid of?

Charlie:
Toxins.

Matt:
Yeah, but your body does that anyway,

Charlie:
Right okay.

Matt:
Yeah i'm not, I think cleanse. I have no scientific literature that I can cite to say that that's a fact, but it's.

Charlie:
I mean, I think you're safe in saying that, um, drinking champagne for breakfast isn't a cleanse.

Matt:
Definitely not a cleanse. No. Um, it's. Yeah. I mean, it's lovely. Champagne for breakfast. Christmas day.

Charlie:
Christmas day.

Charlie:
Wedding. Oh, weddings is more lunch time, I feel like. Yeah. Christmas Day is the exception. I tend to have a bit of Bucks Fizz and a wedding on the first drink. I think.

Matt:
I go Bucks Fizz Christmas day.

Charlie:
Christmas day.

Matt:
Bucks fizz. Scrambled egg. Smoked salmon. Open your presents.

Charlie:
Eat your presents. Eat your presents. Uh, okay. That's Chelsea then. Any more to add to Chelsea? If you were to be the stereotyper.

Matt:
I mean, without being incredibly rude to people who enjoy Chelsea, it's very boring.

Charlie:
I didn't see that coming.

Matt:
It's very. It is. But like, being rich isn't a personality. Like it's so.

Charlie:
Oh, that's a really good comment, though.

Matt:
Yeah. It's just so vacant of authenticity and culture. And it's just it's just like wealth. Wealth is not. Yeah. It's not a personality or a it's very. Yeah. It's boring.

Charlie:
Okay, I like that I like that.

Matt:
Sorry people who live in Chelsea.

Charlie:
Uh, Camden is up next. Punks who refused to accept that the 70s ended.

Matt:
I think that's perfect..

Charlie:
Yeah, I thought that was quite, quite astute.

Matt:
I think I yeah, if you're going to come to London and you want to see some punks. The only place you can see them is in Camden.

Charlie:
Yeah, yeah. Leather jackets galore. Yeah.

Matt:
Spikes. yeah.

Charlie:
Tats

Matt:
Tats of Doc Martens. Hair. Yeah. Purple hair. Doc Martens. Doc Martens safety pins.

Charlie:
Oh I see. Where?

Matt:
Just as, like, clothing accessories.

Charlie:
Yeah. Okay. Badges. Like movement badges on a backpack.

Matt:
100%. And holes in clothes. Mhm. That's very punk.

Charlie:
Yes. It does overlap with Topman. It does. Or River Island now? Yeah. Topman.

Matt:
Is that rest in peace for Topman.

Charlie:
It was my left hand. It felt very unnatural. It was sort of zig zag.

Matt:
Yeah. What happened to Topman?

Charlie:
It went online to Asos, I think.

Matt:
Oh did it?

Charlie:
I think so, says my fashionista wife. Um, okay, so that's Camden. Yeah.

Matt:
Again? Yeah. Spot on.

Charlie:
Well done. Yeah. Brixton. Now. I haven't been to Brixton in a while. Creative souls and foodies all carrying reusable coffee cups.

Matt:
I don't think that is Brixton.

Charlie:
I thought Brixton the stereotype would be. Watch out you're going to get mugged.

Matt:
Yeah. Yeah, it's a it's a lot. Brixton.

Charlie:
And heavy music scene.

Matt:
Um, they do have some live music venues. It's. Brixton is fun, but you really have to be in the mood for it. It's quite hectic, especially on a Friday or a Saturday night.

Charlie:
Okay.

Matt:
It's pretty full-on. Yeah. Um, and it's.

Charlie:
And to compare it to like Clapham, which is also incredibly hectic on a Friday or Saturday night. But there's a very big difference. There is a big difference.

Matt:
That's true. What is that?

Charlie:
Is it just the demographic full of Aussies in Clapham?

Matt:
Very true.

Charlie:
On their gap year. And then in Brixton, it's it's Londoners.

Matt:
Yeah. I think, uh, yeah. Brixton is very Londoners. There's a lot of people who live in Brixton who've lived in Brixton a long time. Um, yeah. It's. I think Brixton. Brixton feels a lot more compact. It feels like it's spread over a smaller area. It feels. Yeah. It feels like there's a lot going on in a very small space. There is the Brixton O2 so there is a big live music venue there. Maybe that adds to it as well because people come out of that and there's obviously a big crowd. So yeah it's yeah it's quite full on. I wouldn't say it's um like reusable coffee cups.

Charlie:
No, no I would have. Where would you put reusable coffee cups on the map?

Matt:
Peak reusable coffee cups?

Yeah, is that like angel?

Matt:
Mhm. Maybe it's very, uh. Maybe somewhere in West as well. Maybe. Maybe Hampstead. Maybe would be more reusable coffee cups kind of area. Okay. Like you're kind of. Yeah. Like strong. Like kind of a champagne socialist. Labourites. Very Guardian reader. Yeah. I think that's maybe Hampstead.

Charlie:
Oh, okay. I just prompted ChatGPT to do Hampstead. Artists and intellectuals who can afford to live like aristocrats. Yeah. Yeah. They they would use reusable cups.

Matt:
Definitely. Definitely.

Charlie:
Okay. Um. So next one, Kensington, where children are tutored in Latin before they can walk.

Matt:
That is really witty.

Charlie:
That is witty.

Matt:
How have these AI, how have we got to like, large language models that are like, well, it's funny you ask that. And they've got a little quip.

Charlie:
Yeah, I know.

Matt:
Why?

Charlie:
I know they're, but they're sourcing the internet for this, aren't they? Like, it's all based on what's already been written, right?

Matt:
Right.

Charlie:
So somewhere along the lines, they found this combination of, oh, it'll be funny if we put these two things together.

Matt:
Right. Yeah. Maybe.

Charlie:
Spot on.

Matt:
Maybe prompting stereotype is likely to garner some funny.

Charlie:
Yes. That's true. Stereotype does exist around comedy. Mostly. So agree, disagree? Extension? Perfect?

Matt:
I would agree. Kensington for me is. Yeah, it's it's the most west London place. It's peak, west London. It's it's almost royalty. West London, isn't it.

Charlie:
Yes, yes. And mostly privately educated schools,

Matt:
I would say 100% privately educated schools.

Charlie:
And that's the joke. Tutored in Latin before they can walk. We don't really do Latin in British schooling systems. So yeah. Highly educated.

Matt:
Yeah, I would say I don't know if there is any public schools left in Kensington. Yeah.

Charlie:
Or state school. Sorry. State schools. Okay, Hackney. Vegan friendly hipsters who cycle everywhere and grow their own kale.

Matt:
Kale. Yeah. Fair enough. It could have been anything. But yeah, kale is the most hipster vegetable, isn't it?

Charlie:
Yeah. It's a very wellness kind of vegetable. Is it a vegetable?

Matt:
It is a vegetable. Yeah. I feel I feel like kale is the.

Charlie:
You got to massage a kale, haven't you. Otherwise it upsets the stomach.

Matt:
Kale. Do you?

Charlie:
I think so.

Matt:
No,

Charlie:
No, I think so.

Matt:
Google it.

Charlie:
I feel like, honestly. Yeah. Uh. It has. Okay. Why does kale need to be.

Matt:
A bloody good rub down.

Charlie:
Massaged before consuming? So you massage it with oil. Raw, raw kale can be tough and fibrous, making it difficult to chew. Uh, massaging it with oil helps to break down the tough cellular structure, making the leaves more tender and palatable by breaking down the cell walls through massaging. Kale becomes easier, easier to digest. This can be especially helpful for people who have difficulty digesting raw vegetables.

Matt:
I think if you've got a problem digesting raw vegetables, just cook your kale. I feel like giving it a good massage with oil. That's that is.

Charlie:
I've spent many a day, many a evening massaging. I actually.

Matt:
Don't bloody lie.

Charlie:
I don't even cook. But I was the sous chef a couple of times with the kale. Rubbing oil into it.

Matt:
Yeah. Is that too hard or. Yeah.

Charlie:
Can I get some feedback from you, kale?

Matt:
Is that. Are we good? Yeah. Okay, good. Um, yeah, I think kale. Kale is like the new avocado, isn't it? Yes. Pretty much yes.

Charlie:
So, Hackney, you mentioned earlier in a previous episode.

Charlie:
It's a cool place. Still cool in 2024, in your opinion? Vegan friendly hipsters. That's essentially. quote unquote. 'Cool'.

Matt:
Quote unquote.

Charlie:
Who cycle everywhere. Um, do they,

Matt:
Uh, maybe maybe that's a little off. Yeah.

Charlie:
Is that off? Hackney's not very cycle friendly.

Matt:
I don't think any of London is cycle friendly. Is it?

Charlie:
Interesting.

Matt:
Yeah. Mhm. It's quite terrifying cycling in London really in comparison to anywhere else. I mean, it's not as bad as it used to be but my god. Yeah.

Charlie:
The other day I was, um. I was surprised by how friendly a bus driver was to me coming into the road as a cyclist. I remember cycling in Santiago de Chile, and the bus drivers really felt like it was a game to just frighten me to death. So not great infrastructure, but still, maybe the mindset is not so evil. Mhm. Of everyone. But still a lot of London drivers really want to knock a cyclist off their bike.

Matt:
Yeah. It's really weird. It's really weird. It's so there's a lot of London. You're like, why are these roads like why has Oxford Street not been pedestrianised? I know that is amazing that it still shocks me that you can drive through London like the central part. Yeah.

Matt:
It's weird.

Charlie:
Uh, Clapham. You know Clapham very well. All too well. Full of young professionals who talk about their gap year in South America.

Matt:
Next. Yeah, yeah, that's very true, actually. Um, yeah.

Charlie:
I said earlier that it's full of Aussies, which it is. It is. Yeah. Our neighbours were Aussies. Big house of them. Oh, yeah.

Matt:
Oh, yeah.

Charlie:
Did you ever combine house parties?

Matt:
Uh, we went to a couple of their house parties. Nuts. Nuts. So many Aussies.

Charlie:
Is there a stereotype of Aussies in London? Like, what would you think of them?

Matt:
Um, they work behind the bar. They work behind a bar. If we're talking stereotypes here. Sorry. Australians?

Charlie:
No, that's. That's the whole point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Work behind a bar.

Matt:
Work behind the bar. Yeah. Get incredibly loose on Clapham Common and then go to that festival on Clapham Common.

Charlie:
Oh, yeah.

Matt:
Oh. Um, I'm thinking South by Southwest. But it's not that. It's something like that. Another little Google.

Charlie:
South West four festival.

Matt:
That's it. Yeah. SW4.

Charlie:
Um, so that was the technically that was the first, uh, festival I went to, but I didn't actually go inside. Okay. I went up as a 16 year old to try and sell a shit ton of those sort of, um, elastic band fling up in the air and then twizzle down with lights on them.

Matt:
Why?

Charlie:
The guy from my cricket club. Yeah. Was a complete Del Boy. Right. And he was like, I'm just going to hire two of these 16 year old kids from the club to come up with me and sell them outside of the gates and make a fortune. We got up there, we flung two up in the sky. We tried to sell to three people. And then, you know, the, like, bouncers with, uh. What's that word?

Matt:
Lanyard.

Charlie:
Lanyards came over and said, do you have a license? He said, no. They said, fuck off.

Matt:
And that was it?

Charlie:
That was it. So we got a McDonalds and went back home. So we drove all the way up to London for that, which was a two hour round trip.

Matt:
Wow. That's an afternoon well spent, isn't it? I mean, you didn't miss out very much. I mean,

Charlie:
Do you not like that festival?

Matt:
Who's headlining this year? Um, if it isn't disclosure?

Charlie:
Martin Garrix.

Matt:
Oh, dear.

Charlie:
Main stage. Yeah. Do you know that?

Matt:
I know of Martin Van Helden? We're not good mates. Van Helden,

Charlie:
Armin van van Helden,

Matt:
Armin van Helden. Yeah.

Charlie:
Uh, Marvin. Humes. Humas.

Matt:
no cant be with you that one. Yeah

Charlie:
Okay. So that's Clapham. Westminster. Tourists and politicians trying to avoid each other.

Matt:
These are good.

Charlie:
That is really accurate.

Matt:
These are good. Yeah, these are really, really good.

Charlie:
Politicians going about their day. Yeah. And tourists lapping up London.

Matt:
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I think Westminster is, um, the epicentre for a London tourist. Yeah. You've got to see Big Ben. Yeah. If nothing else, you go in, Ben, you go in Tussauds and you go in dungeons. Those have got to be the top three sites.

Charlie:
What's the big church? Abbey. The abbey.

London Abbey.

Charlie:
The London Abbey.

Matt:
Westminster Abbey.

Charlie:
Westminster Abbey.

Matt:
London Abbey. Lovely. London Abbey. Which one? The one in London.

Charlie:
How's Abbey treating you? Um, yeah. So spot on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, let's do one more. Um, Richmond. Where the upper middle class go to feel like they're in the countryside.

Matt:
Oh, yeah. Yeah, these are bang on. Like, I wouldn't. I wouldn't change any of these. Richmond is lovely. Yeah, it is lovely, but it is sort of like going back to Dorset.

Charlie:
Oh, yes. Yes, I can see that for you.

Matt:
It even has like a little town centre bit to it. Yeah. But yeah. It's lovely. Great park.

Charlie:
It is a great park and you can walk around with wild deer just chilling out.

Matt:
Yeah. You can. Yeah.

Charlie:
And that's where the hilarious viral video, that was one of the first viral videos. I remember where the dog went, like running after the deer. And then the owner shouted out, Fenton! Yeah, Fenton! Fenton! Fenton! For about 15 times. Um, because the. Yeah, it was chasing after the deer.

Matt:
Yeah, yeah. That era of viral videos just feels kind of like the proto internet. Yes, that videos that were so rare.

Charlie:
Yeah, they were so rare. And it was really nice how I remember I would come over to your flat or your house in university, second year particularly, and we would share videos. We'd be like, have you seen this one?

Matt:
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Charlie:
And you'd watch it together and you'd laugh.

Matt:
You'd laugh. You'd seen it 16 times before, but you'd show someone else. They would laugh and you would laugh again. And now you have compilations of funny videos that stretch into the far horizon of time. I think you couldn't watch all of the funny videos and complete them, because they're just created and added at such a pace. Yeah, you'd never run out.

Charlie:
There's there's only so many times you can poo in a day. Yeah. And yeah, you can only watch 20 minutes tops. Yeah, yeah yeah.

Matt:
You couldn't you couldn't possibly beat it. You can't beat it. Yeah, yeah. Um, yeah. So, yeah, that felt like a very special time for a funny video, because if you got a good one,

Charlie:
It was.

Matt:
Like the Fenton one.

Charlie:
And somebody said, Ben, who's been on this podcast, he said, the internet killed the magic trick at a party when we were younger. I feel like that happened like somebody knew a trick and you'd be like, oh, I've never seen this before. But like, since the internet, everyone knows everything. Like, oh yeah, I know how to do that. And that's not really done now.

Matt:
I haven't seen a magic trick in years.

Speaker1:
Yeah, yeah. Is that because of the internet, do you think? Or is that because we're adults?

Matt:
Maybe because I don't have clowns coming to my birthdays anymore. Yeah, yeah,

Charlie:
But there was always that, like, that was a, like, card trick or something that, like, your dad's friend would like. Yeah. Like. Oh, have you seen this?

Matt:
Yeah. Did you ever see the pen through the hand one?

Charlie:
I think I did, but I can't remember how they did it.

Matt:
So that was a, um, I won't because I'll kind of move away. But it was a sort of doing this movement push pushing for those who are just catching this on audio, pushing the pen through the hand on the top and moving it, the pen with the hand back further and further, swiftly slotting the pen behind the hidden ear.

Charlie:
Oh yes, the ear.

Matt:
As you're sideways to somebody and then the pen disappears through the hand.

Charlie:
Ah yeah, that was it.

Matt:
I remember seeing that for the first time and just being like,

Charlie:
I remember having that done to me actually. Yeah. Yeah. That was good. Yeah. Right. Okay. We've come to the end of the list. So there we are, the stereotypes of the boroughs of London. Thank you very much, Matt, for taking part in this one.

Matt:
Lovely. Thank you Charlie.

Charlie:
All right. Well done guys. See you next time on the British English Podcast. Bye bye. Goodbye.

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Transcript of Bitesize Ep 90 - Transcript

Charlie :
Why hello there. Welcome back to the British English Podcast. I'm Charlie Baxter, your host, and we're continuing our three part mini series on how to host a Brit for dinner. This is part two. Um, in the last bite sized episode, we set the scene for inviting a Brit over from the art of crafting the perfect invitation to navigating the complex world of British food preferences and menu planning. If you haven't heard that one yet, go back and check it out, as there's obviously a lot to learn. Um, in today's one, we're moving on to the next stage. What to do when your British guest actually arrives. Uh, we're talking the importance of small talk and why you should hold off on offering them tea and how to subtly master the fine art of drink refills. We'll also explore the nuances of British humour, the subtleties of polite conversation and how to ensure everyone feels comfortable without any awkward silences. So get comfy, grab a cuppa. Or maybe not straight away given today's suggestion, and let's jump right in. Ding dong! They're here! Oh my God, what do we do? Well, surprise, surprise. Like any other culture, we answer the door and no idea if it differs around the world, but answering too soon like immediately would be a bit startling, a bit overly keen, and too late would be rude. So let's give it a 10 to 45 second window. But of course, encourage them through the front door and not an actual window.

Charlie :
So they come in and the first thing they'll want to know is if you're a shoes on or off kind of household, along with where to hang their coat or jacket. If it's a cold day, which it most likely will be because we're in the UK and offering to take their coats, I'd say that seems a bit. Try hard. Um, in a formal situation maybe. But yeah, I wouldn't take their coat. I wouldn't like take it off them whilst they're trying to get it off. That seems. Oh no I don't, I don't think I like that. Um, I'm just imagining myself doing it and I would, I think that would be really awkward. So. Yeah, just pointing to the coat rack. Um, if they're probably naturally getting their coat off and say, oh, you can bung it over there, bung it over there, bung it over there. That's a good one. Check that in the glossary. Um, so yeah, point out the coat rack. If you don't have a designated location for the coats, then maybe take it from them and say, oh, I'll just pop them in here and run away to a random room and place them like on the back of a spare chair or a or a bed. Maybe lie on the bed. I'm getting into the weeds too much here. Anyway, so you've come back. The coats are gone. Um, and then with shoes, you could say at the same time as dealing with the coat, you could say, oh, no, no, feel free to keep your shoes on if you're a shoes on kind of household.

Charlie :
And then to put them at ease, you might want to explain why, like, um. Oh, we don't have carpets in here. Yeah. Just keep them on. Or you could mention that you've got dogs and that they might try and chew any shoe that is left unattended. I don't know, just, um, just something that suggests that there's a reason to keep the shoes on. Otherwise we might feel a little bit uncomfortable keeping them on. But if you want them to take them off, I go for a, um. Oh, yeah. Feel free to pop your shoes here whilst pointing at the shoe rack. Um, I think it's quite important to not be authoritative. Be very casual with that. Otherwise it sets the sets a bit of a bad tone at the beginning. Like you do this, you do that. So be very casual with both the coat and the shoes kind of thing. Now, I know Japanese listeners might be hoping for some slippers to be offered out, but we don't really have that. One of my British friends actually had them to offer us and I loved it. But generally we don't do that. So shoes and coats off. Uh, so the upcoming phrase will be, oh, come on through, come on through. You've got to say it twice for some reason. I'll come on through, come on through, come on through.

Charlie :
So come this way. Go, go with me. To the other side of the house. Maybe. Or to the kitchen. Basically the dining area or the social part of your house. Just a thought, though. Very often we might want a house tour. Um, particularly if it's a new flat or house for the guest, and they are a friend of yours that knows you longer than the length of time you've been in that place. So if you've moved since knowing them, they might be interested in a house tour. I have just made that definition up, but I think I'm spot on with that one. And it would be weird to show someone your bedroom if you've known them less than a year. But my friends that I've had since moving house would would genuinely like to see the gaff. Meaning the house and the entirety of it. So, um, if they fall under that category, you might want to say, um, do you want the tour? Should we do a quick house tour? And if they do seem keen, then it's not rude to show them all rooms. And maybe not the one with the skeletons in the cupboard, but yes, the bathrooms, etc.. I can imagine it might seem a bit rude in some cultures to show the bathroom, but we love it. We're nosy. So yeah, as long as you've known them for a while and I would say try to show it all in a self-deprecating way, like, if it's a really nice place, then point out a few things that are a work in progress, or maybe even ask their opinion about something in an indirect way, like, um, yeah, I'm not sure about these curtains or blinds or I'm not sure about the colour of this room.

Charlie :
We did it this way. Or we might think about doing it this way or this way, but we're not sure yet. Kind of suggesting conversation. And we want your input. That helps. Um, make it less arrogant, I guess. Um, or if they compliment something and you moved in with it there, you could say that. You could say, oh, yeah, that was already here when we moved in. So, yeah. House tour. If they've been your friends for a while, do it in a self-deprecating way, but. Yeah. So coat and shoes and tour is done. And now you're most likely in the kitchen, dining area or lounge. What do you offer them? Um, a tea. It's really like tea, right. Maybe give them an Earl grey. Wrong. You'd be wrong to do that. Save your tea for when you want to let them know it's time for them to f off at the end of the night. Um, I will get to the drink, but I want to say we love to have a few minutes of incredibly small, small talk like how their journey was, talk about the traffic, maybe the weather, how their day has been.

Charlie :
That's a bit less pathetic. Small talk. Um, and maybe even have they had a busy week, that kind of thing. And then whilst that is nearing the end, ask them what you can get them to drink so it's not an immediate hello, coats off, drink. It's a hello Coats off. How are you? How is the traffic? Oh, no. Life's shit. How's the weather? Still shit. Let's have a drink. That's the kind of workflow we want in the social interaction in Britannia. And I'd go with. What can I get you? We've got wine, beer, gin and tonic. And I think we might even have some, um, some elderflower and some sparkling water if you're driving now, I guarantee a lot of Brits have never even had elderflower. And a lot might say this guy doesn't know what he's talking about. He's. He's not a true Brit. Um, it's quite a posh one. Elderflower and sparkling water. I'll give them that if they're going to say that. But I think it's important to offer a soft drink of some kind. Maybe a fizzy drink, but I, um, I don't really like offering soft drinks. I'm just a snob. I'm a snob. Yeah. There you go. That's it. But I did want to say that list because it's important to give an ongoing list tone. I think if you say we've got wine, beer and gin, choose, it's a bit awkward. So if you say, oh, we've got wine, we've got beer, we've got, um, gin and tonic.

Charlie :
Um, what else have we got? That kind of alludes to there being a lot more, but hopefully within that space they will have made their mind up and said something like, oh, I'd love a beer or oh, a G'n'T. That would be nice. Guarantee they say that, um, now they might say this. They might say, um, what are you guys drinking? Because they don't want to force you to open a bottle of wine if they're just drinking it. So you want to navigate that one as a group to let them feel at ease drinking wine? Um, I am going to guess. But maybe some more cultured countries like France and Italy, Maybe even Spain. With your wines, you probably feel like there's no real big deal opening a bottle. Um, but we feel intrinsically guilty for causing somebody to open a bottle of wine for just us. I think, um, it's within our nature to to not impose. We've been taught to keep calm and carry on. And part of that, I'd say, is that we don't want to be a bother. We don't want to be a bother. Yes. So opening a bottle of wine just for me. Oh, Lord. No, dear, not please don't. I'll just have a beer. So, yes, I think I've made my point. I will now move on. So we've got the drink choice locked in. Small, small talk will evolve into small talk, slash real talk.

Charlie :
And so we properly check in with each other and ask for a little catch up. Um, I've noticed over the years that it's nice to digress in conversation and not get through the catch up in the conversation as if we're all on a mission from A to B. I think it gives the evening depth and confirms that you won't run out of conversation as a group. So if you feel the need to fill them in on a backstory before telling them the final answer of how you are and how life's going on, then do that. I encourage you to digress and go in these random areas. Of course, this shouldn't be an overwhelmingly long and boring story if you can throw in some self-deprecating humour along the way in that story, that would be a lovely touch. And that reminds me. Don't compliment people too much. Don't be too happy and over the top like we associate with the Americans. But don't be too deadpan like, um, some other nations that I won't name and smile and laugh at mildly funny things, but don't high five them for getting an achievement, like a promotion or anything that won't get you far. So a middle of the road approach, I'd say with that one. Now, if you are a couple hosting this, so you've got your your partner with you and you're living together and you're hosting the evening together, it is assumed that you are a team in the household chores and hosting, for example.

Charlie :
My wife is really good at cooking, so she will always do the cooking as the host. No one wants to see me cook, so yes, she will cook, but I at the same time will do all the drinks and I will clean up afterwards. Um, if one of you doesn't lift a finger all night, the guests will unconsciously notice that and think it's a bit hard on the other person, or just think that the relationship isn't quite balanced. Um, which I know is different to other cultures. So that's why I'm saying this. Um, and this is, you know, 2024. Having said that, it is still rather commonplace for women to be slightly, slightly, slightly more useful than men. Don't hate on me for saying this, but I had a perfect example of this the other night. I even feel silly saying this, but I feel like equality is a necessity across genders in this day and age. But I had a perfect example of this the other night when we hosted a barbecue. Oh yes, in the summer you could host a British barbecue, of course, but yes, I was needing to de-shell some pistachios. Ridiculous. We couldn't find them de-shelled in the supermarket, and we really wanted them for this particular dish, so I needed to de-shell them, but ran out of time and I asked someone to help do them while I started the barbecue up.

Charlie :
And it just felt natural that either my auntie or mum would offer, rather than my father or my auntie's partner. They came out and appreciated what barbecue I had and played the role of a male ever so slightly. I'm not encouraging this, but as I am giving you a guide on how to host a Brit, I am pulling from stereotypes that I have noticed myself. So while I hope you don't shoot the messenger and class me as a sexist, I just noticed these slight hangovers are still there. Subtle, subtle hangovers that might help you or feel free to challenge them and tell men to get busy. We need to. Now, sexist stuff aside, we're probably on to top up time, meaning you'll want to keep an eye on how quickly your guest is drinking their drink and try to offer a refill within the next few minutes. Generally, we drink a lot and we've created this association between socialising and drinking, and if you don't have a drink in your hand to sip, it feels uncomfortable to be socialising. We like something to do that could be universal, but drink has become so ingrained in us that we need a drink in our hands to feel like we're at ease, and that we're socialising for the fun of it. So if you if you notice that their glass is empty, maybe just a subtle nod to the glass and picking up the wine bottle, making eye contact with them is enough.

Charlie :
If you know conversation is flowing and you don't want to disrupt, or if a topic has come to a natural pause, you could ask them if they want the same again or something else you know, you could make an actual conversation piece out of it. So that's that's drink and nibbles kind of sorted. We'll want to invite our guests to the dining table. Um hum TV dinners. They became popular in the US over the 80s and 90s and onwards. Brits also started to have this, but were a bit more resistant to this and I have never, ever hosted or been a guest where they've plonked me on the sofa with my meal. I think once when I was dating a girl and I was 17 or 18, I went round her house for the fifth time or something and her family gave me a curry and we were all sitting on the sofa watching something. It was very casual. Obviously it wasn't the first time I'd met them, but that felt too casual. Subjective, of course, but there you go. So I would encourage you to get to the dining table and for the drinks and nibbles, maybe around a sofa or the kitchen bar, if you've got something like that. Now, I should have said that you'll want to set the table before they arrive if possible. And this would include napkins, cutlery, usually just a knife, fork and spoon, then a water glass and a wine glass.

Charlie :
This, along with some centrepieces and candles, is a nice touch, but not necessary. And um, yes, some music. Yeah, we need some music. Don't put the Beatles on because you think we all like them. Let's put something a bit more like, um, an innocent bit of lounge jazz or, um, I mean, I might put a Frank Sinatra radio playlist from Spotify on, uh, for the boomers, like my parents and auntie and that. And then any younger. And you could put more indie stuff on. So, I mean, Spotify should be able to cover this by searching something basic like dinner party mix or something like that. And let's see. So we're at the table main course now. So yeah, we've sat down, we take our napkins and pop it on our laps. I was taught this by Stacey to do this immediately before I used to do it when the food had been served, and then maybe even leave it there until I need it. But somebody who's been trained right should take their napkin off the table and put it on their lap as soon as they sit down. This is a pathetic detail that you can just skip past if you don't care that much. But you know I'm being thorough. I've got no one to interrupt me. It's a monologue, after all. You will want to tell them what you're serving up if you haven't done so already in this moment. So, yeah, as you're bringing the, the, the pot or the, um, communal dish that you put in the middle of the table, you might want to say what you've got.

Charlie :
So you'd be like, oh, we're having chicken pie tonight. Pop it down. And then I would encourage you to dish them up, to dish up. Phrasal verb. It's a nice one. Um, so you need to give them the food. So if you've got a main cooking dish like in chicken pie or a pot of something like a curry, you bring it to the table, take their plate from where they're sat, give them a medium amount, and then look them in the eyes and say something like, is that all right for now, or do you want a bit more? Or how's that? And doing that whilst going back to get more food up onto the utensil you're using. And I almost guarantee they'll say one of these two responses either, oh go on then, which is a yes, an option two or I better not, which is a no. Okay. So we're all sat down tucking in. Typically we don't do anything religious these days. My auntie who lives in Australia still gets us to hold hands and say grace before we tuck in, but I've never come across that in the UK before. We even sometimes make a joke about holding hands and praising the Lord. Naughty, I know, I guess it's probably a bias that my friends and family are not religious, so we don't meet other religious families.

Charlie :
But yeah, I don't think we're a particularly religious country in comparison these days. So a couple of mouthfuls in and your guest will likely compliment you on your cooking. And I know I'm being painfully particular, but if you really want to make them feel at home, try to think of a new conversation topic. If no one else is talking in that moment as it's the teensiest bit awkward. If there is a silence whilst they taste your cooking for the first time, you almost want it to be hard for them to find time to compliment it. And then if they get a chance, you say a sincere thank you, followed quickly by something self-deprecating, for example. Oh thank you. Um, yeah, it's a work in progress, but hopefully edible or. Oh, I'm glad you think so. My partner is sick to death of it. So. Yeah. Nice to hear someone appreciates it for a change. Um, one more option. Um. Oh, that's nice of you to say so. It's one of the few that I've got down, or so I'm told. But. Yeah. Thank you. Something like that. And remember, the compliment could be quite disguised. Um, I was watching a British comedian the other day, and he said the biggest difference between the UK and the US is that Americans go in to something, assuming they're going to have a great time. Brits come away from something, surprised that they had a nice time, and might even be slightly annoyed that they were pleasantly surprised, which I think is spot on because after coming out of a cinema or a theatre production, British people will say something like, oh, that was quite good actually, wasn't it? Or um, that wasn't half bad.

Charlie :
Whereas I'd guess someone from the US would say, wow, what a great movie! Or oh, that was awesome. So going back to the compliment for your cooking, you might have to pay close attention to the phrasing they choose for this compliment. It might just be. It might be a simple, oh, this isn't half bad. You know, that's a compliment. This isn't half bad. Weird isn't it? Okay, so now keep their drink topped up. Of course. And if they were on a beer, you might suggest a wine that goes with the food a bit better. Uh, what do we do? We typically pair white wine with fish and red wine with red meat, like beef or lamb. Um, but don't be surprised if you hear a Brit saying, oh, I'm not fussy, I'll drink anything. Um, that's because while we do have some guidelines for wine pairings, we're not always strict about it. Many Brits might not be connoisseurs, and they often care more about enjoying the company than getting the perfect wine Pairing. The key is to keep things relaxed and not too formal, because the aim of the evening is good conversation and laughter, and maybe being pleasantly surprised by the choice of wine is a bonus.

Charlie :
But yeah, most Brits will not be thinking, oh, what wine are we going to have with dinner? So if you care about wine, don't be too detailed. We very quickly feel like it's being too pretentious and dare I say it, too French. And with that, we've come to the end of the main course. Oh, but if there's more in the pot, um, like there's more food. Then offer your guest some more. Um. A well-trained British guest will not simply help themselves. So encourage them to have seconds if they emptied their plate. Um, some may leave a little on the plate, which just shows that they're full. It doesn't mean that they think you're horrible and they hate your cooking, so don't get paranoid about it. It doesn't mean much. It just means that they're full and they're happy and content. Obviously, if they leave loads, then that's a bit awkward and they don't like your cooking. Um, once everyone has finished, you should start clearing the plates gradually whilst conversing. American culture is to remove the plate of anyone who's finished, whereas British culture is to keep the empty plates there until the last person has finished their meal. Reason being is I think Brits don't like the idea of being rushed and being made to feel like we're the last person eating. And then I think for the American perspective, it would probably come from the idea of really good service.

Charlie :
They get a tip if they're really good, right? And a waiter sees an empty plate, they will go and take it because they don't want the customer to be staring at an empty plate. I can see both reasons for it. But yeah, Brits will keep the plates there until everyone has finished, so you're clearing the plates whilst gradually conversing and they might offer to help clear as well. But I encourage you to say, oh, don't be silly, sit back down. Um, plus a fun remark like um. Anyway, my partner loves doing the dishes, don't you, darling? Don't say partner. Say the name. I don't know your partner's name if you have a partner. Uh, another thing Brits like to do is put our knife and fork together at the 6:00 position. If a Brit was to listen to this, I think a lot of them would think I'm the world's biggest toff by listing all of the above. But I do think a good host will unconsciously do these things and not even notice it. It's just because I'm listing it all out that it sounds relentless. I'm going to guess I'm above average with my expectations, with what a good host does I really like to host. And I was a bit of an idiot with hosting before I met my wife. And her dad is a chef and they just are very good hosts, and I noticed how enjoyable it was. So I've kind of taken on what they encourage.

Charlie :
So you don't have to do all of what I'm just telling you. But, you know, I think it leads to a very pleasant experience for a guest. So the table has been cleared. Time for a drink. Top up, perhaps. And then, depending on how well the conversation is flowing, you'll either want to bring out the dessert immediately after having cleared the plates, or perhaps let their stomachs settle. And that brings us to the end of part two in our mini series on how to host a Brit for dinner. By now, you should have a better understanding of how to navigate the arrival and settling in phase from the initial small talk to getting the drinks just right and keeping the conversation flowing with just the right amount of British humour. In the next and final episode of this mini series, we'll move on to the grand finale. Desserts, tea and knowing when it's time for your guests to head home. We'll cover what to serve for pudding, how to subtly signal that the night needs to be wrapped up, and which topics to avoid if you want to keep things pleasant to the very end. Plus, we'll look at the quintessential British phrases that might pop up during the evening and how to respond like a true Brit, so don't miss it. Thanks for tuning in today. I'm Charlie Baxter and I look forward to having you back for the next episode of the British English Podcast, Bye Bye.

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