Transcript of Bitesize Ep 89 - Transcript

Charlie:
Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to today's episode of the British English Podcast, where I give you a conversation or monologue around British culture. And before you know it, you will have been exposed to a load of new vocabulary that will really help you on your language learning journey. In today's one, I am going to be starting a three part mini series on how to host a Brit for dinner. This is because I wanted to do more 'how to be a Brit' style episodes after asking a bunch of Academy members their favourite type of episode, and they seemed to think that the guide to a British Pub was particularly useful for them. That was season one, episode two, if you're interested.

Charlie:
So I thought, what else might be unique to being British? And then I had some friends round for dinner the other night, and realised that there are some subtle differences in how a Brit would host, or perhaps expect to be hosted if you were to have dinner with them at your home or their home. And yeah, I thought, what about giving you a glimpse into how best to host a British person for dinner? So whether you're living in the UK and want to invite a Brit over for dinner, or you're in your home country and want to help them feel like they're enjoying a night in a home away from home, I believe this episode will be of interest to you. So here we go.

Charlie:
Alright, let's start with the invite. Being an indirect culture, we might choose our wording to be as confusing as possible. For example, if I were to text a friend, I wouldn't dare to say, you know, I'm cooking dinner on Saturday. You will join us. Or join us for dinner tomorrow at 8 p.m.. No no no no no. It would be more like, um... You're probably busy, but if you're not doing anything major and can tolerate our cooking, do you fancy popping round for a bite on Wednesday? I am exaggerating my point and many Brits would be more direct, but it's definitely not too far from the truth. Also, in that one I used a very last minute invite. Now, depending on how many friends and family this person has around them, you might be looking at asking them 3 to 4 weeks ahead of time. I mean, some of my friends like to even book 6 to 8 weeks in advance, which I find rather sickening. But I understand that people are busy, and I did notice that being an expat in different countries, the people that I met generally, they were expats as well, and we were all less busy because people tend to have a wider circle of friends from their home country. They have their family there and at my age, around mid 30s. That means you've probably got a few nephews and nieces and maybe some children of your own. So that would be, you know, another, what, five birthdays? Then you've got the weddings as well.

Charlie:
So all of this adds up to then equal a very busy social calendar that I've not really become accustomed to. So if you're in the UK and you're inviting a Brit, maybe just expect to give them a lot of notice. It's obviously subjective. Some people are very last minute and they enjoy that, as do I. But yes, let's assume they are free. Then what? What would you do? So I believe the right thing to do is to ask if they have any dietary requirements. So composing a quick text that reads along the lines of... Any food preferences or allergies? You know, just easy does it. Because it's quite common to be veggie, vegan or even gluten free these days. Or maybe have a nut allergy and then a number of people are pescatarian, meaning that they don't eat land mammals, but they'll eat up any of those supposedly soulless sea creatures. As you can tell, I don't quite get the difference. But that is not today's debate. Although just to prod at that for a moment to undoubtedly upset a number of you listening. If you are a pescatarian, would you be comfortable eating, say, a shark? That's a fish, a big one. And, you know, we think it's quite mean and eats us. So would you eat a shark? And if that's a yes, then what about a dolphin? I mean, it's a similar size, but somehow seems a bit evil.

Charlie:
Mm. What about a whale? It's in the sea. I'm 99% joking, as pretty much all cultures are completely hypocritical about what animals are taboo, so we'll leave that there. So, for ease, let's imagine that your guest will eat anything under the sun, be it land or sea. Um, so it's time to think about what food a Brit feels comfortable with. So here are some of the most common dishes people cook at home in the UK for dinner.

Charlie:
Now Instagram and the rest have globalised our palate significantly. And it depends on which part of the UK we're talking about here. But we generally enjoy a chicken curry, a shepherd's pie, lasagna, spaghetti bolognese or a chicken pasta dish of some kind. Yes, we eat jacket potatoes, but that is definitely not a quote unquote hosting meal. We do still eat a roast dinner, although we might find it a bit odd if we're not having it on a Sunday. Um maybe a pie like a nice chicken pie, or you know what you should do actually? A toad in the hole. Wow. They would feel right at home if you did that. I've actually not had it loads. Despite that, it does feel quintessentially British for me. I don't know of any other culture that does toad in the hole. Um, so Google that if you want to find it or use the flashcards; it will have a picture of this if you're a premium or academy member.

Charlie:
Okay, so how many courses should we be shovelling down our guest's throat, I hear you ask? Well, um, we formerly might have a soup or some fish as a starter. I think these days, just some nibbles with a nice drink is a good way to start the evening. And when I say nibbles, I'd say maybe some Italian bread and a dip. Um, maybe some tortilla crisps and a hummus or some olives. Or maybe a cheese of some kind. Again with some bread to dip that in or. Yeah, something like that. That would be quite nice. But yeah, combined with a nice alcoholic drink like a cocktail and we are off to the races, meaning the thing has started and suggests a sense of excitement.

Charlie:
Okay, so what drink? What drink? I did say cocktail, but I would typically offer my guests the choice of wine, beer, G and T (gin and tonic, that is) or a bit of bubbly, maybe. Um, this is getting a bit over the top to have all of the above, but a trend at the moment is to be getting a good rosé wine in the house. So maybe offer them three drinks. Don't overwhelm them. Um when I say beer, boomers were brought up with ales and now drink lager, I think, um, they definitely drink lager now. I think they were brought up with ales, mainly. Millennials and younger generations, um, they like a pale ale. I like a pale ale. Um, and depending on the temperature, maybe even a Guinness. So like in the winter, maybe a Guinness. In the summer, a fruity, hoppy pale ale. But with a Guinness you might butcher the poor. So yeah, maybe just get a slightly premium lager in the house, a rosé or white wine for summer and a red wine at room temperature. I'm looking at you Italians. We do not drink our red wine cold. That is really odd to me. But I was actually pleasantly surprised by it when I had it in Pisa, I think. Had it cold, had red wine cold. It was bizarre for me. But yes, we have it at room temperature and that's served in the colder months and a gin and tonic is all year round really. So yeah, get some of those around three of them and you're golden.

Charlie:
Okay, so we've communicated the date. They then confirm their food preferences. Um, and it's up to you to tell them what food you're thinking. I personally might leave it as a surprise, but at least let them know that you've taken on board their preferences with a quick, direct response. And last thing I should say in this episode: timings. Yes, typically we like to eat between 6.30 and 8.30, so aim to get some food going between those hours. And if you ask them to come over at, say, 6.30, they will probably be 5 to 10 minutes late. Some are punctual. I'm often far from punctual, but I'd guess the majority of people try to get there just after the suggested time.

Charlie:
This is considered polite, I'd say in our culture. It gives the host a little more time to prepare, but doesn't create any disrespect or isn't considered quote unquote late. And I'd say it's a bit of a faux pas to be early, so they most likely won't do that. And if you're going to a British person's house or event and they ask you to be there for a time, I would never encourage you to go there any time earlier than that time. And again, I can't speak for everyone, but this is just what I've noticed around friends and family, acquaintances, events in the UK. I know that some other cultures are often very late in British people's perspectives, and that is considered rude. We would consider that rude because we've we've prepared things. We expect people to be there around about that time. But yeah, try not to be early because that adds stress to the host in most situations. Even if even if you think you're helping, you're like, oh, I'll go out, I'll go there and I'll give them a helping hand. Again, subjective, but from my experience, most people find that stressful because they would put the hard work in and then they would go and get ready. So you would be joining them when they're not even ready. And they wouldn't like to see you when they're not ready. Right? No one wants that.

Charlie:
So yeah. Wait until the time and then be knocking on the door around about five minutes late. In the ideal situation, but it doesn't really matter because you're the one hosting. But they will probably do that for you. Um as this is a bitesize episode and I'm dishing out very specific suggestions, we're going to leave this one here. In the next episode, we'll continue our guide on how to host a Brit, diving into what happens after you've welcomed them in. We'll explore the nuances of the small talk that follows, what to offer them to drink and how to do so, and why serving tea too early might send the wrong message. We'll also cover how to subtly gauge the pace of conversation, the do's and don'ts of drink refills. Oh yes, and some tips on table settings and dinner music that won't make you sound like you're throwing a stereotypical British party, even though you are.

Charlie:
And plus, we'll break down the art of giving out and receiving compliments the British way where, um, a 'not bad' can mean anything from terrible to the best I've ever had. So, um, if you're looking to make a Brit feel truly at home, or just want to understand more about these curious cultural habits, don't miss the next bitesize episode, which will be released two weeks after the release of this one. Um, thanks for listening. I've been Charlie Baxter and see you again soon on the British English Podcast.