Transcript of Bitesize Ep 81 - Transcript

Charlie:
Hello and welcome to today's episode of the British English Podcast with me, your host Charlie, attempting to give you a variety of worthy content for your listening practice whilst, um, sneaking in a load of native British English phrases and references. Um, aiming for you to focus on the meaning of the content and not the language. First and foremost, but through absorption, you'll gradually increase your vocabulary from simply following along. Some would say it's witchcraft, and in today's one, I'd have to agree, because we're continuing the story from the last bite size episode I did, which was called The Mystery of the Crimson Manna, which I did because of a new AI voice filter I'm still having fun with. If you haven't listened to that episode, I recommend you go there now and enjoy that for ten or so minutes, and then come back to this one to enjoy part two of The Mystery of the Crimson Manna. It really does turn my voice into a variety of characters that, uh, yes, I was I was pleasantly surprised with. So, uh, yes, slight witchcraft, but, uh, really, it's just technology advancing at an incredible rate right now. Um, but yes, to recap, if you did listen and can't quite recall what happened, uh, then we had a Sherlock Holmes style story where a guy called Alistair Crane or Alistair Crane, who's the investigator type chap. Um, and his family are invited to a big old country house in England. As the owner of the house, Lord Crimson had a big announcement to make to his friends and family, and he revealed a very expensive jewel to those dining. And this jewel is known as the heart of the Empire. Um, but then the lights suddenly went out. They came back on and the jewel was missing. Dun, dun, dun. I actually left it there, which is what we call a cliff-hanger. When you leave questions unanswered in a story, um, often big blockbusters do this. And, uh, you know, you're sat there, the credits are rolling and your eyes are rolling and thinking, oh, here we go. Another sequel is coming up. I mean, maybe you're not as cynical as me, and you don't roll your eyes. You just think, oh, great, another movie for me to enjoy. Ah, got to go to therapy. Or find a beach. One of the two. I'm joking. Am I? Anyway, um. So we returned to the story where the jewel that was about to save the house from going into disrepair has just gone missing. And remember, all of these voices you're about to hear are mine. Just with this AI filter on top. Mental. Enjoy.

Toby:
Hey, I know, let's check for that big shiny rock under the table. Felicity. We can, uh, we can play cops and robbers.

Felicity:
Okay, but the rules are that we have to be as quiet as a mouse. And we can't step on anyone's shoes or touch anyone's legs. If you do, you're out. Look, Toby, there's paint on my dress. Oh, no. Where did it come from? Oh, wait. Hang on. It's all over my hands and knees as well.

Daddy:
Toby. Felicity, what are you two doing down there?

Felicity:
Sorry, daddy. We're playing cops and robbers and got paint on our clothes.

Mr Crane:
Did you say paint? Let me see. Mm. It's fresh. Interesting. Bernard, could you come here for a moment?

Bernard:
Yes. Mr. Crane, how can I be of service?

Mr Crane:
Everyone, please remain seated. Bernard, lock the doors. We need to ensure no one leaves until we sort this out.

Bernard:
Right away, Mr. Crane.

Mr Crane:
Darling, don't look up. But I think Mr. Strewed's boots are covered in paint. I don't know what it means right now, but just keep your wits about you, okay?

Mr Crane's wife:
Oh goodness me. You know, I thought I felt him get up suddenly when everything went black.

Mr Crane:
Right. Well, let me follow this trail of paint and see where it leads.

Felicity:
Can we come, daddy?

Mr Crane:
Yes. I suppose you're safer by my side than in a room with a thief. Come along, Toby, you as well. And watch where you step, okay?

Felicity:
Toby, I bet you can't jump from one footprint to the next 1 in 1 go.

Toby:
Yeah, I can look! UH! Oww..

Mr Crane:
Toby. Be careful. You okay?

Toby:
I think so, but I think I think the back of my head is bleeding.

Mr Crane:
Really? Let me see. Hang on. That's not blood. It's more of the paint, and it's all over your back. How could that be?

Toby:
The floor is really sticky. Maybe someone painted the floorboard. I'm sat on. I think it's loose. Look, daddy.

Mr Crane:
Huh? Interesting. Let's see if there's anything underneath. Aha! A letter addressed to the groundsman, Mr. Strewed.

Toby:
Ooh! What does it say.

Mr Crane:
Here, Toby? Why don't you read it aloud?

Toby:
Okay. Ahem. Dear Mr. "Strewed". Stroud. Is it Stroud or "Strewed" daddy Strewed?. I'd like to inform you of your ancestral claim to the gem known as the heart of the Empire, currently displayed at Crimson Manor. Historical records reveal that you are the legitimate heir to this artefact, which belonged to your forebears. This information has significant implications for your heritage. I urge you to consider this matter seriously due to the sensitive nature of this issue. I prefer to remain anonymous. My only goal is to see justice done and the gem returned to its rightful custodian. Yours sincerely, a concerned historian.

Mr Crane:
Astonishing!

Felicity:
I know! How did Toby learn to read so well? I mean, I'm two years older than him, and I don't know half of those words.

Mr Crane:
Ah, yes. Well, I set Toby up with a free account at the British English Podcast.com, and it put him ahead in his English by at least three years, I'd say.

Felicity:
What? How did I not know about this?

Mr Crane:
Maybe it's because you always skip the ads, darling.

Toby:
Enough! Daddy was about the heart of the Empire.

Mr Crane:
Sorry, champ. Righty ho. Well, let's go back and speak with the groundsman to see what he has to say for himself. Mr. Shrewd, could you please explain this letter?

Mr Shrewed:
Oh, I see, I received that this morning. I didn't know what to make of it. [Hmm..] I swear I didn't take that gem.

Mr Crane:
So why did you choose to hide the letter and paint the floorboards? And while we're on the subject, why are your boots covered in the stuff?

Mr Shrewed:
Ah, yes, well, I panicked, you see, I was doing a few odd jobs around the house to prepare for the weekend's events. And as I was painting, the post arrived and I just shoved it in there and continued on with what was needed to be done. But I, uh, I spilled the darn paint all over myself. Butterfingers. I know, but I was just so worried that Mr. Crimson would lose trust in me.

Felicity:
Hmm...How did he get up and steal it without anyone hearing or seeing him?

Mr Crane:
A very good question, Felicity. And why aren't there any of his footprints leading up to the display case? Considering how much wet paint he's still got on his shoes?

Mr Crane's wife:
Um, surely, Alistair, it seems only logical that Mr. Strood be the culprit. I mean, the motivation is tremendous. Think what people do for money. Especially £12.5 million.

Mr Crane:
What a random figure, Clarissa.

Bernard:
That is the exact amount the auctioneer has estimated to be the value of that very jewel.

Mr Shrewed:
Oh, yes. Well, Mrs. Crane must have overheard the conversations at the far end of the table. I believe Mr. and Mrs. Kingsley were having their little guessing game of their own.

Mr Crane:
Right you are. Well, we must consider every possibility. And so I insist that you all continue to stay put until we get to the bottom of this. As I'm sorry to say, but this mystery is far from solved.

Charlie:
There we are. I wonder if you have a culprit in mind. Hmm. I think I gave you some clues, but yeah, obviously not such a dramatic cliff-hanger this time round. More of a, um. I've run out of time and energy to complete the story this week because, you know, it takes a bloody age getting those silly little sound effects together and editing the voices. I mean, I'm not complaining. I absolutely loved recording that, and I am so grateful to those of you who have supported the show by signing up to the premium podcast or the Academy, or any other course or digital product over on the British English Podcast.Com, because it allows for me to continue to do this job that I absolutely love and to provide content for listeners who can't afford it. But there we go. I hope you enjoyed part two of the story and look out for part three coming out two weeks from this episode's publish date. Uh, it makes sense to me. Um, all right. Well done for getting to the end of this one. See you next time. Much love from myself, Charlie, the host of the British English podcast. Bye Bye.